Aspies For Freedom

i am a mother of a wonderfull little girl who has been diagnosed with asd.
i have only just discovered this site and think it is amazing!!!!! untill now i
have really believed that i am the only person in the world that understands and accepts my daughters autistic spectrum disorders as part of her. im sure somebody will correct that phrase for me, and i would be glad of it. i have always carried this hatred for people who are ignorant to autism, and wanted to sheild chloe from them. those people who have never even began to understand or accept my little girls way of thinking.
Since becoming obsessed with aspies for freedom i have noticed that aspies and auties feel the same about non aspies and auties.
i think this is a wonderfull positive thing to be expressing, however i cant help but feel that we are all being stereotyped. i can empathise with your opinions,as i often feel the same, due to wanting to protect my little girl from the ignorance of the real world, i am also tryijng to teach her that everybody is different, and that she shouldnt insult people who seem different to her, after all everybody's opinion is just as important as the next person. (no matterhow strange)
so come on, we are not all as bad as you think.
iappologise if this comes accross as argumentative, i really do  not mean it to, i just feel slightly torn betwen the two sides.
this website has been like a breath of fresh air to me, and just when i thought nobody could tell me anything more than i already know about chloe, i have been made to see things from a completely different angle.
thankyou.im sure you will be hearing from me in the near future as i have so many questions to ask.

I can understand what you mean, but you have to understand that people see AFF as a 'safe' place, where aspies can be aspies without being judged, and can talk about their difficulties and frustrations associated with living in a predominantly NT world. If you'd had a good experience, you wouldn't feel any need to post about it.

I hope that you will be made welcome here, because you seem like the kind of NT we want to see more of  :smile:

Hi EMMA
The subject of "NT bashing" comes up with a fair degree of regularity here. I don't think that the "bashers" represent the majority of people who post.  Some people are vocalizing their frustrations with the hypothetical "NT" when the problem actually lies with interactions with particular individuals in their lives or with particular difficult situations. Easier to hate "the nameless faceless enemy" than people with whom ties of love and anger are intertwined. My advice, for what it's worth: observe people's opinions but don't take them personally.  (When I was making my valentine avatar, I initially was thinking "to aspies" and then immediately realized that the NTs who post here are integral to the community...hence, love to AFF.)

Please don't think I am speaking for all here when I respond, as I'm sure that not everyone agrees with this, but probably a lot of us feel that torn.  Sometimes I can come across as anti-NT, but really I am not.  It's just that the daily active persecution by the majority population, toward myself and people I care about, that causes my hair to bristle, and I get angry and sometimes need to non-verbally defend myself.  I love many non-autistic people, and I don't consider all non-autists as NT, and only people who would themselves define themselves by their averageness, or typicality, and enforces this unreasonableness on others, as NT.  If a non-autistic person does not relate to the term, then the term does not describe them.  NTs have so much power over our daily lives, and occasionally (not all of them, and not all the time) ignorantly and/or wantonly abuse it.  We may occasionally lash out with words written on pages on the internet, but we are not actively promoting the genocide of their haplotype, and when we and they march at odds, their ranks are still fuller and stronger.  I do not want a war, but I must speak out in my defense.  

I think that your appreciation of your daughter's autism is wonderful, truly, and I wouldn't refer to you as NT, so please don't feel that you are part of a persecuted minority, as none of (my) anger is directed at people merely for not being autistic, but for not allowing me to be who I am, and that is what I have taken AFF to be all about.  Freedom.  That is why we come here.  To be ourselves.

thankyou for all your reply's. i dont think i was looking at it like that.
chloe goes to her bedroom and screams and shouts, to let out her frustration of her long day at school. this site must be a breath of fresh air.
i only hope that when chloeis a bit older she develops a positive attidude towards her asd, muchh likethe ones i have seen on aff.
i am certainly developing a different way of seeing things, and also feel less negative. I do still however feel extremely scared for her, and want to protect her from the rest of the world.
would somebody please give me there definition of a melt down, as i have a meeting at the school tonight and have to explain the reason for chloes attendance level droping over these last couple of months. i feel like im on trial all the time, stupid teachers telling me whats best for her when they haven't got a clue. :!:  :!:  :mad:

anyway, before i start ranting, i will take a deep breath :lol:

and thank you again for any comments and help
emma

"She also describes in her books what a meltdown is and the difference between a meltdown and a temper tantrum.

A meltdown is an uncontrollable fit a child/adult gets when experiencing emotional overload or sensory overload, or a combination of these. When this happens, the child needs to be removed from his/her immediate environment into a quiet and silent calming space away from people and noise and given a chance to recuperate.

A temper tantrum is a voluntary fit a child has in response to a reaction from the parent or other people, normally with the sole intent to "manipulate" a situation. "

Thank you for this explanation.  I wish more people knew the difference and how to handle it.  Most people just say "it's a tantrum, let's ignore it."  Being ignored just damages self-esteem because the person with AS just does not understand what is happening.  They might not understand that their "tantrum" is making people ignore their behaviour and then not try to express themselves.  


To the parent:  have you thought about homeschooling?  As a child, I loved learning,  I just couldn't stand the other kids and the environment of school.

I think it's already been explained better than I can do, but I'd like to add my opinion. I haven't really been around here long, and there is much I haven't read, but the "NT bashers" and those stereotyping seem to be a select few. Yes, sometimes we get frustrated and vent, but the way I see it, we are here for equality and therefore the "NTs" deserve equality as well.

Sometimes, when things are bad and I'm depressed, I hate the world. I say things like "There's nothing wrong with me, but the rest of the world is wrong." I exaggerate.

But, I take people as they are. I don't (or try not to) judge others by their neurological makeup, just as I don't judge them for skin colour or religious beliefs. The world is made up of billions of individuals. Every NT is different, just like every Aspie is different. Every person has strengths and weaknessness, and I can't hold them responsible for things they can't control. I can, however, dislike people who blindly judge or criticize me based on my neuorlogical makeup, my gender, age, skin colour, etc. Because those people are showing a lack of understanding that we are all different. Those people are cruel and hateful to people they don't even know, based on something that's irrelevant. If they said "I don't like Crystal because she said this to me and it hurt" then I can respect their opinion (and apologize). But, if they don't like me because Im "weird", well, their missing out.

Wow. I didn't mean to say that much.

I really wish more people knew the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. I got so punished and ignored and I usually didn't know why. Most times, I was reacting to my senses being over-stimulated. All I needed was for someone to, for example, stop clicking their pen, but instead I got punished. My mother recently gave me a picture of me during a meltdown at her sister's wedding. People kept clinking their wine glasses to make the couple kiss. Needless to say, I was already having a difficult time because of all the people and stuff. I tried so hard to stay calm, but finally I whispered to my father that I had to get outside. "Why can't they stop hitting their glasses? They've already kissed a lot. Just let us eat our food!" When she handed me the photo, my mom said it was to remind me of how I "used" to be (maybe she thinks I'm cured). That stung, because I still didn't think I did anything wrong. Then, I just reminded myself that I'm getting married soon, and nobody's allowed to do the glass thing. They will be kicked out (I'll have asked them not to beforehand).

Wow again. Sorry I said so much and it's not all connected to each other.