Aspies For Freedom

I have just thought up a new term to describe a phenomenon that I have observed in some families that are blends of aspie and neurotypical.

The marriage or relationship between the parents of the family ends, and one or both parents go on to have a new relationship with a person who also has offspring from a previous relationship. When the parent who has a new relationship is NT, and all or some of their biological offspring are AS or somewhat autistic, what can happen is that the neurotypical parent adopts the unrelated offspring of their new NT defacto or lover as their own kids, spending most of their their time and celebrations such as birthdays and Xmas with this "phoney family", and representing the offspring of others to the world as their own children, while pretty much forgetting their aspie biological offspring, and in some cases also aspie grandchildren.

It can be pretty comical when long-lost visiting relatives are presented with young people who they are not at all biologically related to, as though these young people are cousins or nieces or nephews. They must be rather puzzled when they look for family resemblences, and try to figure out where those shadowy people who are rarely mentioned fit into the picture.

Isn't it the same for any couple who splits up and remarries? This happens very often, and a lot of people have families with step relatives.

I can't imagine any aspie parent perpetrating or tolerating the pretence that someone else's kids are their own biological kids. It also seems to be the aspie kids or ex-spouses who are "written out" of the family history.

So its not the remarrying, and step relatives,  its only specifically the pretence of a genetic connection that you mean. Ok.

It's the idea of replacing a "not fun" family with a "more fun" family, regardless of moral obligations and biological realities, that I find novel and morally repugnant.

I honestly don't know what the divorce rate is these days, but it seems like more and more parents or autistic children are splitting up. I end up spending a few minutes every week waiting with other parents. Half of us are waiting for our children to finish the current session, while the other half are waiting to sign in their children for the next session.

Anyway, after the divorce, I still see both parents (just not together) in the waiting room. I can't think of anyone who has moved on and ignored their children.

I have heard of grandparents who seem show preference toward their NT grandchildren. Fortunately for us, our daughter is equally loved by all her grandparents and great-grandparents.


Jeff