Well, I have the same problem and as I have said before, I may have only a few aspie traits. What I have noticed is that when anyone has been doing a job long enough, he tends to forget how confusing it may have been for him in the beginning and thus cannot empathize with the confusion of the beginner. I have been guilty of this many times in dealing with questions from co-workers who are new to the job. That's why I so thoroughly suck at any kind of training or supervising work! Can't get into the other person's mindset...but neither can many NT's, I think, ESP. the ones who are thought to have the most so-called common sense. They do indeed seem to walk into a new place & learn what they need to know by a kind of osmosis; their knowledge of past workplaces seems to carry over in a way that is useful to them. Me, I walk into a new place and I really need to be oriented! And, like you, if I sense that there are many ways that some instruction could be interpreted, I will ask what the more "sensible" person :roll: considers to be stupid questions. I think they think I am deliberately overcomplicating simple things, but to me they are complicated things that can be screwed up in an endless variety of ways! I have a tendency to invent multiple scenarios, interpretations, etc., instead of just walking straight ahead as the "common sense" people seem to do. I will think of many different explanations, for example, for someone's bad behavior---not excuses, just, "Maybe he did it because he thought such-and-such, or maybe it was because of--" and then someone will interrupt by saying, "Don't defend him!" when all I'm doing is trying to be fair & think of every possible angle. I suspect the ability to understand the complexities of a situation, and to foresee many possible mistakes or misunderstandings, is really an asset in the right job...maybe your co-workers are just short-tempered because they hate their jobs! I have to say, many very capable workers make bad trainers, NT or not, because they just want the new person to assimilate quickly so they can get back to THEIR work. I am that way even though I know I myself was a very slow learner at first. Anyway, the quicker learners have their strengths, you have yours, and unfortunately it doesn't sound as if anyone at your job has the time or the insight to make all of you into a team. Wish you well, and remember, asking questions means you are thorough and conscientious. If it inconveniences the old battle-axes in the office, too bad! When was the last time THEY learned anything new?!
- to which he then responded "That's funny, because a while back you were suggesting exactly the same". Err, no!!! :roll:
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Things like this used to annoy me lots, until I realised that most people don't have a particularly good memory and certainly no where near that of most aspies, so they will forget what you said, but remember that the topic was discussed. Hence, next time the argument comes up they will often claim that you were extolling the side that they are suggesting *now*, don't think that most people do it deliberately though...
Can someone give at least some possible explanations?
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Do other people have this experience with Nt's?
All the time. Daffy Duck called it "pronoun trouble."
In this case the quotation marks don't help. How many times have I run into the inaudible quotation mark problem? 47.3 krizillion, at least. The problem here is that they hear it this way: "George said to me [that] I know cats like water." This tells them that George told you that you know this, not that he knows this.
There are things you can do to avoid it.
First, you can avoid the quotes entirely. This is what most folk do. Say it this way: "George told me that he knows that cats like water."
Second, when the quote is too long or complex to restructure (they get that way fast), you can make a real production out of making sure they understand that it's an EXACT quote. "George told me - and these are his exact words - I know cats like water." Then in the same breath you can say something like, "HE may know that, but I sure don't!" The instant follow-up clarifies the pronouns.
Some people even make silly quotation marks in the air with their fingers. It looks really dumb, but it can help.
Walking Bear
Actually, I think that's what gets them into so much trouble. A dear NT friend of mine has a saying: "the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished."
Particularly as people get more and more experience, their own words take on meanings that only they understand. I call it the "high llama syndrome." You go to see the High Llama. He tells you, "Life is a small blue bird sitting in a lemon tree." Each and every word of that carries so much meaning to the High Llama, yet it means nothing to anyone else. You walk away uselessly bewildered, and the Llama takes that as you assimilating the weight of it all when in fact you're thinking that the High Llama should be named after some other animal...
Walking Bear
Can someone give at least some possible explanations?
Sounds as if she was drunk, on drugs, or just plain obnoxious! I occasionally get that kind of unwelcome attention myself, probably because people can tell that I am not likely to beat them up or threaten them in any way. Bullying from strangers sucks but it is not to be taken personally; the problem is theirs. Maybe that chick feels powerless in life & feels better for having insulted a harmless passer-by. I am 40 and remember more polite times when I was young; now the level of public rudeness is just out of control! Anyway, you were there, that's all. Sad commentary on the chick's character.