Pakrat, what you've just said there was part of a larger picture that people need to look at when giving advice to such couples. I thought about it longer and realized he never touched on WHY these men are afraid of marriage (well, I admit, I flipped the channel here and there, so maybe he 'touched' on it, but it wasn't at all a theme).
Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for fearing something and sometimes what we fear isn't what we are avoiding but something associated with what we are avoiding. Like when people think marriage equals financial disaster or no more sex or more fighting. There are steps to take so that those things don't happen that have nothing to do with the 'marriage' part of it.
But Dr. Phil didn't care about any of that - he just said if the men wouldn't marry the women shouldn't stay with them.
So when he goes off about autism and asperger's, it's not hard to see why he would make that a cut and dry one sided opinion too. It's so sad that so many people listen to him. Dr. Laura is much more open-minded than he is!
Hello, I am a Mom whose 10 yr old son has been identified as having traits on the autism scale (aspergers)/non-verbal learning disorder/dyslexia. I am interested in your comments as persons thriving while living in a world of non-autisic persons. Although Dr. Phil certainly did a disservice to autism. It was simple ignorance and hopefully taken with a grain of salt. Not intentionally cruel, but not properly informed. I am interested in how you overcame the early years. My son talks about being bullied, not liked, etc. He said, "All I want is to be liked". He simply sees the world differently. On the other hand, his stress reactions are getting better and he is wonderfully happy at home. Artistic, creative and smart. He is a puzzle piece to me. One that I keep watching and learning from. Not a puzzle piece to fit neatly into others' expectations, but to feel comfortable in his skin. He does not want to be different and I haven't explained autism to him. I began with dyslexia and that upset him. He wants to be like others, react as they do, etc. How did you arrive at your self confidence and passion? Thank you for any advice or comments. Also, he attends public school. There is a school for autistic children close by but only wealthy ones. . .Any assistance on how your schools may have assisted you would be appreciated. I've read many books, but your comments are fresh and alive. Thank you.
I hate Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura (of course, she sealed her own fate by acting in a porn lol). But I saw the tail end of this show channel surfing. It did seem like the parents were deliberately provoking the poor kid for attention to themselves. It makes me wonder how many NT parents do this to their Aspie/Autie children for attention...
Sue-- the "Puzzle Piece" terminology is generally frowned on here. We aren't broken or in pieces. Other than that, your kiddo can't make anyone like him. That's one of the harsh truths I think all of us have had to learn. Just like people who descriminate because of sexuality, ethnicity, etc-- there are a large majority of people who discriminate because of different mentation.
Honestly, I don't endorse Autistic schools much. Most of them tend to be repressive if not downright torturous. Some places use electric shocks to condition responses. Plus it gives your boy the stigma of having gone to a "short bus" school (bad for later in life in this NT world-- he'd have a hard time getting into the college of his choice or explaining it to his employers, etc). I'd go for letting him stick it out in public school so long as his grades are good and he can overcome the social hurts. If not, you may want to look into homeschool.
What you could do for his lack of friends is set him up an account here and let him talk to some of the board. If he knows there are other people like him it may make his social pain ease. Also, you may want to look into Autism/Asperger's community meetings (not support groups, which tend to be about the "caretakers" not the "afflicted"-- I attended a couple of the support group type meetings in my area and was so offended I spoke up and was asked to leave.) in your area.