I am surprised at the many shop clerk that do not smile or make eye contact. They must do this only at job interviews.
I was working at some place where they called people on the phone alot. They would do this really happy cheery voice but they would be giving people the finger while they were talking.
I've noticed that where I work too. For instance, a client will ring and be very demanding and cranky and it will be "yes Mr Jones, no Mr Jones", but as soon as they get off the phone they'll be saying "idiot!" or "jerk!".
I also agree with a previous poster who said that a genuine smile "lights up the face". A fake smile seems more "plastered on" and doesn't reach the eyes ie. the skin around the eyes doesn't crinkle up.
I smile because I'm happy, to greet people and put them at their ease (and that obviously could fail if they are AS but I've no way of knowing that whilst walking down the street) and because I like people and like getting to know them. I appreciate that many AS people are bullied when young but please try to believe that most of us NTs are NOT out to get you or be unkind. Even if I smiled at someone who looked or acted a bit odd it would be a smile of friendship not unpleasant. Truth to tell if someone worried me by their appearance or behaviour I would almost certainly avoid eye contact and NOT smile at them so that I didn't have to engage with them. When I first met my husband I thought he often looked angry and told him so. He was surprised as he had no idea he looked so forbidding (most people simply to polite to say so).
If someone is smiling at you each time you meet I'd say they want to get to know you a bit better - so if you are interested, smile back and maybe say hello.
Ha, this was a big issue for me when I was younger. Everyone always used to ask me what was wrong, when there was nothing wrong. Then they'd always tell me to smile... so I'd kind of force the corners of my mouth up, and they'd go, "That's not a real smile! Show me a real smile!"
Ummm... how? ;/
I try to tell people that I just don't smile, but then they interpret it as me trying to tell them that I'm not happy, and they proceed to lecture me on the importance of a positive attitude.
But I don't have a bad attitude. I just didn't see the point of walking around trying to announce that by constantly smiling.
Now I smile at people when I see them in the street, but I still don't go around randomly pretending to smile.
Though I do have a tendency to remember something funny, like, right in the middle of a silent moment in class, and then I'm laughing and grinning like a crazy person for seemingly no reason. 'x3
Recently i've been practising smiling more because it would make life simpler if people were nicer to me without me making too much effort being nice which doesn't always work. There is a very interesting person at school who smiles the whole time(i find people interesting to watch). Not in a fake way though (at least i think its not fake), i think he is just a cheerful person. The reason i find him so interesting is because he is different from the average person. Even nts find it odd his large amount of smiling. And my responses to him is that he is a nice person that is nice to be around and being near him improves the general mood of things. Not that i've ever spoken to him a large amount or know him but those are my assumptions of him based on him smiling. I find it very interesting the way smiling can have a large effect on people and change how a person comes across.
I feel weird when smiling to strangers. Sometimes my attempt at a smile, ends up being a horrible grimace, because I couldn't decide quickly enough wether I wanted to smile or not. It makes me feel bad, because I can feel in my muscles that the smile failed miserably.
Usually, if I am smiling, it is because I am confused, and don't know what to do, I figure, at least I'll LOOK friendly. Only a few people get my real smile, most get my distracted smile.
I hate it when someone is talking, and they start laughing and smiling, and I just sit there, and stare at them, because I can't mimic their actions, they probably don't want to try and socialize with me anymore. I, mean, I know they want me to laugh and smile but I can't force myself to do it, if I don't feel the same way. That sucks.
I knew a lady who smiled most of the time but she used to say some fairly nasty things so I think the smile was insincere. Then again, there are others who do smile genuinely much of the time. I wish I knew what they were on so I could have some...
I don't smile very much, but I'm actually in a really great mood. One day I'm going to say to the next smarmy Chesire cat who tells me to "cheer up love - it might never happen"... "well I've just met you so it already has"
heh heh. I can't stand it when people i don't know tell me to cheer up or to smile more. They have no right to make that judgment about me because they don't know me, they don't live my life and most of the time i am happy, just not smiling. It infuriates me and is distracting when i'm trying to concentate on other matters. I remember at my nursery school my teacher kept on going on about the fact i didn't smile enough. Stupid woman, i hated that school. They didn't care at all about children, just how much money they could make out of them (it was a private school).
Sometimes I smile at strangers, just depends on the situation and my mood. It tends to be a way for me to socialize without talking much. You have to pick your person and place though... generally streets with not a lot of people or bike ways, pathways down by the beach. I started doing it a few years back now. Just a smile seems to be able to spread some kind of good feeling. Makes me feel I'm contributing something to the world. Sometimes I have internal smiles too where it is not directed at anyone and I don't even notice their reactions because I'm thinking of something or entertaining myself with a story or thought that makes me happy.
The only time I have trouble with smiles is when people expect me to smile for photos... I really hate doing a fake smile and it doesn't work so well on me. You can tell.
I know in the workplace, smiling for me is often that I feel some measure of noticing people is needed. It's like if I smile to them through the hallways, I am noticed as a nice person, which is good for my work. Then I get to escape back to my desk. Smiling is not always happy.. sometimes it's also a defense mechanism to keep people at a distance... because with a smile everything is alright.
I smile pretty much all the time. Not a great, big toothy grin, mind you. Sometimes happiness brings the smile, but sometimes a smile brings the happiness. I did not smile much in my younger days. Hardly at all.
It tends to be a way for me to socialize without talking much.
Yes, totally. And it tends to takes you from Unfriendly to Friendly But Quiet in the eyes of people who don't know you.
By the way, in my previous post I meant I didn't acknowledge EVERYONE in a busy street.
You know I was thinking that not acknowledging people in crowded streets made sense. After all, people in the city streets tend to be mostly unfriendly anyway, they have somewhere to go and something to do. If you acknowledged everyone you would be standing there like one of those corner preachers. 
I'm a NT and I've noticed that some people on this forum like Moo for example, get annoyed when people interpret them not smiling to be sadness. It's really not our fault.
I think "annoyed" and "blame" are two entirely different things - I often get annoyed when I can't get into a group conversation, for instance, I get a bit annoyed, but it doesn't mean that I think it's the groups fault.
I'm a NT and I've noticed that some people on this forum like Moo for example, get annoyed when people interpret them not smiling to be sadness. It's really not our fault. Smiling is a built in aspect of human beings. Smiling serves as a sign that we're not threatening and that everything is alright. Most people walk around smiling without even realizing it. When we smile at someone, we expect a smile in return. This behavior begins as a baby when a baby smiles and then receives a smile in affirmation. If that doesn't happen, the baby will often begin to cry because it believes that something is wrong. The same thing happens as adults. When someone fails to return a smile, we assume something is wrong. Depending on a number of other factors, we will either believe the person is sad, and therefore needs to be comforted, or a threat, and therefore needs to be dealt with. It's completely instinctual.
Distinguishing between these two possibilities can be difficult, but there are a number of hints:
If the person does not smile and has a strong posture and meets your gaze, then they are usually considered to be threatening.
If the person does not smile and has a weak posture and does not meet your gaze, then they are usually assumed to be sad.
I do understand why people smile and i accept that if i don't smile then i look unhappy but it just irritates me if i explain to a friend that i have asperger's and then for the person to still ask me what is wrong when i am not smiling.
Today i did a communication and interview skills course which was really helpful. I learn't that if you smile when you talk it makes your voice sound better and add good changes in tone which makes you sound interesting. I can't notice it myself but others tell me there is one. This has given me a reason to practise smiling. Ugh it just feels so fake and over the top when i do it but i'm trying to ignore my embarrasment from showing emotions.
I don't have the slightest idea why NT:s smile so much. Personally, I can never interprate a smile "properly". Is the person smiling because I look dumb or said something "wrong" or "funny"? Or is the smile meant as a friendly gesture? Or is it polite, meant to put me at my ease? And how the hell do you tell the difference between the various types? They all look the same to me, possibly excepting a slight change in the wrinkles around the eyes.
When I smile in a general conversation with NT:s in everyday life, I just fake all my smiles into an approximation of what the "typical" NT smile tends to look like. I also try to smile at what I judge to be the "appropriate intervals" in the conversation, based on what I've gathered from watching NT:s converse with each other. I have no idea if I'm doing it properly or not. Most likely not.
I notice most NT:s always appear to have a slight smile on their faces when talking to each other, even if the other person isn't saying something funny. If I could just be myself in a conversation, that's when I'd smile myself; if the other person said something funny and I was amused. I don't understand always smiling at the other person, regardless of the topic. What if the topic is serious? Or sad? Maybe it is just a way of being non-threathening, I don't know.
Well Peter I'm not in autistic spectrum but belive me manny times I dont know why people smile.
Somethimes some people take they're smile on faces just to look how friendly they are but on the contrary I know they aren't and than I fell annoyed with they're irritating ROBOT- tipe smile.
As I posted in my post in support I dont know yet if my son is an autistic(waiting for diagnose) but what u told me reminded me again on his reaction when I laugh.
When he saying something to amuse me and when it's funny normally I laugh but then he put his hands on my face and sayin Daddy dont laugh.But point of all his story was to made me laugh and than when I do, he doesn't know if I laugh to him or to story that he just told me.
So You reminded me on him .Please tell me what should I do if he tells some funny story?
Thanks!
Yeah, I get irritated about fake smiles too and I can usually spot them. If you're happy, it also shows in your eyes.
When I smile at a stranger it is usually just to acknowledge them pleasantly. I also like to smile at strangers because so few people even look up as they walk around the place and it feels good to share some positivity with another person. It is possible that this girl who smiles at you recognises you, and smiling is like a milder and less confronting way of saying "hello" to someone you recognise but don't know.
When I smile in my conversations with people, even if they haven't said something funny, it is just a way of showing that I'm enjoying talking to them and finding them interesting. It's amazing how much this impacts the other person's enjoyment of talking with you!
I agree!