Aspies For Freedom

Such incidents seem to happen with increasing regularity.  I appreciate it's really difficult for some parents to cope and they do need help and support.

I can't help but feel that the grandmother was a bit of a b!tch.  She was asked to childmind, but refused to come to their aid when the parents asked for her assistance.  Yet she is now looking after the children.  Why couldn't she look after them when the parents asked but she can now?  It's like she knew what was going to happen but did nothing to help or stop it beforehand, but is now trying to take credit for 'rescuing' the children.  What a sick individual.  If she knew that the parents had no other choice, as she seems to have done, why couldn't she step in and help before it reached crisis point?

This whole story is just so wrong on so many levels.

Amy. my feeling is that your first guess was right. That the couple had been "dumping" the kids on the grandmother, and taking her help for granted. When she refused take the children over Christmas while they went off to Las Vegas, they left them alone thinking that this would 'blackmail' the grandmother into taking them in. This she refused to do, and called the police instead.

I'm sure this kind of thing is happening to autistic (and other) children every day of the week all around the world.

If the parents had the money to go to Vegas for a week, surely they could have found a professional sitter for the two little boys.  The whole story is of an amazingly irresponsible father, at least.
Alison

Follow up:

Judge refuses to reduce bail for couple in home-alone case

Henry K. Lee,
San Francisco Chronicle
Saturday, January 7, 2006

The San Ramon couple who went to Las Vegas as their two young sons stayed home alone wept in court Friday as a judge refused to reduce their bail after prosecutors charged them with felony child endangerment.

Jacob Calero and his second wife, Michelle De La Vega, cried as their attorneys tried to persuade Judge Charles Treat to release their clients, saying the couple would stay away from Calero's sons, Joshua, 10, and his mildly autistic brother, Jason, 5.

"The children are in a safe place. Nothing will be gained by keeping him in custody," Calero's attorney, Thomas McKenna, told Contra Costa Superior Court Judge Charles Treat during the hearing in Walnut Creek.

De La Vega's attorney, G. Wright Morton, noted that his client, a cosmetic dentist, was not the boys' birth mother and had clients with appointments lined up next week. Morton said De La Vega's relatives, including her mother, two brothers and their wives, could "vouch for her" if she was released.

"Public safety is not an issue in this case," he said, describing his client as a "32-year-old professional woman."

Deputy District Attorney Jon Yamaguchi said De La Vega's being the boys' stepmother "doesn't minimize her responsibility to the two children involved in this case." Yamaguchi said "given their lack of responsibility" over the New Year's weekend, he didn't want the couple released on their own recognizance.

The prosecutor also said he didn't want them released in case they wanted to confront the boys' grandmother, Liberata Holden of Manteca -- who had summoned the officers who found the boys -- "for the predicament that the defendants find themselves in."

Without commenting on his decision, the judge sided with Yamaguchi and declined to reduce bail. He ordered the couple, who were married in April, to return to court Thursday to enter pleas.

The couple stand accused of leaving the boys alone while they went to Las Vegas for five days to celebrate the New Year.

The boys spent one day alone before police found them late Saturday night asleep in their home on Watermill Road just hours after a neighbor heard Jason calling for help and rushed to his aid.

Officers went to the home after the Holden grew concerned that her grandsons were alone and called police. Authorities told The Chronicle on Friday that police called Calero after discovering the boys, but he did not return their phone call until Monday. San Ramon police arrested the couple Wednesday when their flight home landed at Oakland International Airport.

Calero and De La Vega wore jail jumpsuits and sniffled throughout their arraignment Friday, which came just hours after prosecutors formally charged them with two counts each of child endangerment.

Such a charge alleges the defendants "willfully" caused or allowed the children "to be placed in a situation where his or her person or health is endangered." Each charge carries a maximum sentence of six years.

"I certainly could not conceive of people in general agreeing to leaving a 10-year-old home alone and then to saddle that child with the care of a 5-year-old autistic child," said District Attorney Bob Kochly. "It's incredible, and this was for a planned five days."

De La Vega's relatives declined comment, and attorneys in the case declined to say who had custody of the children.

Holden went to court Thursday to seek permanent custody of the boys. Her daughter was the boys' birth mother and died of breast cancer in 2003.

But it could be months before the judge decides who will have permanent custody of the boys, and McKenna said his client "loves his kids. He's willing to do everything he can to get them back. He made some major judgment mistakes."

Calero attended Washington High School in Fremont and is a construction plumbing foreman. He met De La Vega when she was his dentist, his relatives said. Calero's sister, Isabel Calkins of Charlotte, N.C., told The Chronicle on Friday that her newlywed brother had become overwhelmed trying to care for his children after their nanny -- who found it difficult to deal with Jason's autism -- abruptly quit. At the same time, Calero was trying to help De La Vega open her dental practice in Santa Clara, Calkins said.

"He tried to do it all, and he couldn't," she said. "We were just hoping he would just get it together as far as finding care for his children.

"I think that if you got to know my brother, you'd know he's an awesome guy," she said. "He's not confrontational. What he did was wrong, and he admits that as well. What's already happening to him is already enough punishment."

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=...EALONE.TMP

seems to me that if they left frozen ready meals to be microwaved they weren't expecting any adults to come in and look after the children.

I think probably that the grandmother told the parents that she was going to come over and stay with the children and then she did not and called the police.  

I have seen this type of scheming before.

That's what I thought, Amy. Rats deserting a sinking ship.

And that automatically makes everything OK again? Sickening.

'Home alone' parents get jail time

By Bruce Gerstman
CONTRA COSTA TIMES
Thu, Jan. 12, 2006

WALNUT CREEK - A San Ramon couple accused of leaving two young children alone over the New Year's weekend pleaded no contest to charges this morning, were handed county jail sentences and released.
Jacob Calero, 39, pled no contest to two counts of felony child abuse in Walnut Creek Superior Court. Judge Bruce Mills sentenced him to 270 days in County Jail.
Calero's wife, and the children's stepmother, Michelle de la Vega, 32, pled no contest to a charge of misdemeanor accessory to a felony. Like Calero, she had been charged with felony child abuse, but prosecutors dropped those two counts.
Both will be eligible for home detention.
Mills handed down the sentences in a crowded courtroom as the two defendants wept with tissues to their faces.
The District Attorney's Office had charged both with felony counts of child abuse for circumstances dating to Oct. 15.
San Ramon police arrested the couple Jan. 4 as they returned on a flight to Oakland after a trip to Las Vegas for the New Year's weekend. Police say the boys' father and stepmother left Joshua to take care of Jason, who is autistic.
Since Oct. 15, the brothers spent many of their days alone, often not seeing their father and stepmother who arrived home after the children fell asleep, a prosecutor told the Times earlier this week.

Source:
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercuryne...610694.htm

***********************************************************
Emotional home-alone couple plead no contest

Henry K. Lee,
San Francisco Chronicle
Thursday, January 12, 2006

(01-12) 09:32 PST WALNUT CREEK -- The San Ramon couple who left their two young sons home alone while they traveled to Las Vegas to celebrate the New Year pleaded no contest this morning to charges of child endangerment, a surprise development in the case.

Jacob Calero, 39, pleaded no contest to two charges of felony child endangerment while his second wife, Michelle De La Vega, 32, pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor accessory charge.

Both cried before they entered their pleas with Contra Costa County Superior Court Judge Bruce Mills.

Mills ordered Calero to serve 270 days in the county jail or on home confinement under electronic monitoring. De La Vega was sentenced to 180 days in jail and also was given the option of home detention.

The couple were accused of leaving Calero's sons from his first marriage, Joshua, 10, and his mildly autistic brother, Jason, 5, alone while they went to Las Vegas for five days to celebrate the holiday weekend.

Several of De La Vega's family members were in court this morning.

Asked whether she thought it was wrong for the couple to leave the boys home alone, De La Vega's mother, Elvie, said, "We all believed that the children were with the (maternal) grandmother on the day they were left alone. Had we known, we could have taken them ourselves."

Deputy District Attorney Dara Cashman described the pleas and sentencing as a "fair disposition" of the case.

"I think it just shows they recognized what they had done was wrong and they wanted to make amends as soon as possible," she said.

The boys spent one day by themselves before police found them on Dec. 31 asleep in their home on Watermill Road just hours after a neighbor heard Jason calling for help and rushed to his aid.

Officers went to the home after the boys' maternal grandmother, Liberata Holden of Manteca, grew suspicious that they were alone and called police.

Authorities said police immediately called Calero on his cell phone after discovering the boys, but he did not return their call until Jan. 2. San Ramon police arrested the couple Jan. 4 when their flight home landed at Oakland International Airport.

San Ramon police said they are investigating previous instances in which the couple allegedly left the two boys home alone.

Last week, Contra Costa County Superior Court Judge Charles Treat declined to reduce their bail of $200,000 each.

In declining to release the couple or reduce bail last week, Treat sided with Deputy District Attorney Jon Yamaguchi, who said he didn't want the defendants released in case they wanted to confront Holden "for the predicament that the defendants find themselves in."

The boys are in protective custody, but attorneys in the case declined to say who was acting as their guardians.

Holden went to court last week to seek permanent custody of the boys. Her daughter was the boys' birth mother and died of breast cancer in 2003.

Calero attended Washington High School in Fremont and is a construction plumbing foreman. He met De La Vega, a cosmetic dentist in Santa Clara, when he was her patient, his relatives said.

E-mail Henry K. Lee at hlee@sfchronicle.com.

Source:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=...LRLR30.DTL

electronic tagging, Amy. Not much of a punishment. Though it does say in the second article I added as an edit, that officers are still investigating other occasions when the children were left to fend for themselves, so perhaps there will be further charges.

The problem with prosecuting this sort of offence is that it will do no good to use punishments that punish the children at the same time. It is sort of a paradoxical situation.

That is what I think as well.  I think Liberata Holden, the boys' maternal grandmother, set up the father, Mr. Calero.  He took the dogs to Ms. De La Vega's mother.  If he thought the boys would be alone for five days, he could have taken them to her mother as well.  Perhaps Mrs. Holden was annoyed because Mr. Calero had been "dumping" the boys on her too frequently and she wanted legal custody of her deceased daughter's children.  I'll bet she gets it too, with this ammunition.

Did you notice this?

Why would she be so fearful of Mr. Calero and Ms. De La Vega confronting her unless she knew she had agreed to come over and watch the boys and then reneged and called the police instead, saying she suspected they were home alone?

If I plan to leave my daughter with someone, I want to make it as easy as possible for them.  I leave food I know she will eat, ready to be warmed up, so I don't think it would be unusual for them to leave frozen dinners ready to be microwaved for their children, even if they were expecting Mrs. Holden to watch them.

I don't mean to excuse what Mr. Calero did.  The ultimate responsibility was his to make sure his sons were safe and he failed.  I think the punishment of home detention fits the crime.  They won't be taking any trips away from home for a while.

Follow up:
Boys left alone could be worse off
THEY ARE NOT the worst out there.

MICHELE FRY:
CONTRA COSTA TIMES
21 Jan 2006

As the circumstances surrounding the San Ramon couple who left their little boys home alone came to light, the community boiled. It wasn't without good reason.
The oldest of the two boys was 10, and he was left in charge of his 5-year-old brother, who is autistic. Jacob Calero and Michelle de la Vega are suspected of not being appropriately attentive parents prior to the event, but this event was a biggie. Their need to party over New Year's Eve took them to Las Vegas for five nights without the boys and without leaving the boys in appropriate care.
Something definitely needed to be done about these people. Leaving kids in their charge just seems like a bad idea. People called for Calero's and de la Vega's heads -- or at least for severing their connection to the kids.
I, too, was appalled. But that happens often when I learn about the situations some kids are in or have been in. Really, as bad parents go, Calero and de la Vega are far from the worst. Their kids had food, heat and each other. Many kids are left alone, some for hours, some for days, as irresponsible parents go off on their own personal binges. Kids have been found left alone in filthy conditions, with little or no food and without heat or electricity.
The parents are out sexing and drugging it up. Selfishly seeking brain-numbing fun. Some are more drawn to playing cards, drinking, smoking, sniffing, huffing, sticking or whatever than to attending to their families. They haven't grown up and aren't particularly responsible for themselves, yet they are responsible for young lives. They find it easy to pretend they don't have children.
And some kids would say, those kids are the lucky ones. These kids wish their parents would leave them alone. Instead, they are physically, mentally or sexually abused. They are pushed around, denigrated or treated like slaves.
Still other children "fortunate" enough to have their parents around end up taking care of themselves anyway as their parents' addictions and carelessness keep them from doing any parenting. Many kids often parent their drunk and high mothers and fathers.
Other youngsters suffer as their parents run meth labs, turning their homes into toxic dumps. The problems are not just psychological or moral. Actual physical and mental problems develop in these highly toxic meth-making environments.
These environments are toxic in other ways, too. The children aren't likely to learn good habits: They may range from not attending school regularly to not bathing regularly. Many don't learn to respect themselves or anyone -- or anything -- else. Also, many people usually traipse through the kids' houses and lives, and nothing good is gained by the associations.
Although many children and teenagers are stuck in bad situations, many parents lose custody as the state swoops in and takes the children away.
Many of these kids end up better off. Many, well, it's a toss-up whether they are helped or not, whether they are better off or not. Many don't end up in permanent places or good, temporary homes; they don't end up in situations where they can bond, learn and grow with caring people.
More than 2,000 youths in Contra Costa County are wards of the state in the foster care system. It seems more people demanded that the San Ramon couple "never come within 10 miles of those children again" than are signed up to take in children like them when they are removed from their families.
That's too bad. But with such experience and strong emotion about the welfare of children running through our community, I'm sure the Department of Employment and Human Services soon will be flooded with applications to foster, adopt and mentor.
Every county in the Bay Area is in need of good people willing to come to the aid of children in dire circumstances.
As for the San Ramon boys: As long as their father is interested in being a father (and the stepmother is going to be a help and not a hindrance), it seems fruitless to pull these kids from their family -- and there is no guarantee they would end up with their grandmother -- to add them to the foster care numbers.

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Fry is a member of the Times editorial board. Reach her at mfry@cctimes.com.

Source: http://www.contracostatimes.com/mld/ccti...685302.htm