How competitive are autistics overall compared to non-autistics? I keep getting told I need to be more competitive, that I lack the competitive instinct needed to compete in society. I'm not just talking about competitive in sports. I'm talking about competitive to be better, to do better, to acheive more then people around you, either its in your everyday life, work life or personal life.
I voted the bottom one, its a delusion for people to try and make someone to be the opposite of their nature.
For me, it kind of depends on the context--when I was growing up I was somewhat competitive in academics, but it wasn't so much that I wanted to beat out other people as much as it was proving to myself that there was something I was good at. Then, as I got older, I was more competitive with myself--trying to improve on what I was good at--i.e. topping previous achievements. Then, as I got older still, I said screw-it, there's too much to see and think about and experience in life to waste more time proving myself.
When I've mensioned that I think being competitive is pointless or tried to explain why, they say I'm just fearful of be competitive and making excuses.
DC--you might want to examine the lives of the people who are giving you the "you need to compete" advice. Ask yourself and also them, if you've got the courage or think you could pull it off gracefully: Are they happy? Has success meant as much to them as they thought it would? If they had to do it all over, would they make the same choices?
I don't think they're happy. They talk about how competitive they use to be and what they would be doing if they could, as if somethings stopping them from doing so and nothing is stopping me from doing but fear to be competitive.
IMHO, what is more important than pushing yourself to achieve is to find interests that play to your natural strengths and talents. Achievement will then come as a by-product of following your interests to where they lead and persuing them with depth and some degree of rigor and self-discipline.
I don't have any interests. Thats part of there arguing with me about. That I lack the drive to do anything. That somehow (I guess) that my lack of being competitive and lack of interest is somehow tied together.
Um, having no interests makes it harder--are you sure you really have none, or is it that none of your interests are considered legitimate from the perspective of people with different ideas than you about what counts as "productive".
I have no interests. They think I do have interests and believe that I'm just fearful and saying I don't as an execuse, that if I were competitive I would have it made.
It depends on the situation. In some situations, I get into a somewhat competitive mood, where I begin to feel slightly competitive. Then I can either suppress it or strengthen and embrace it. If I do the former, then that's the end of it, except for a faint, insignificant, underlying feeling that stays in the background. If I do the latter, I get moderately competitive. (altought I could probably get far more competitive in those situations if I decided to truly go for it. I haven't had any reason to, however)
It depends on the situation, if I'm participating in sports of some kind, then I can be very competitive. Other times such as in archery, I compete against myself, going for a higher score every shoot. I do enter brewing conpetitions, but that's mostly to get feedback on what I made more than trying to win.
Generally, I try to be my personal best, and push that personal best where possible. At times, i'll try to push my personal best above others.
I've never seen the point in competing *against* others; that seems to spring from jealousy ie "how dare they be better at something than me". And as this often applies to sport (at least in Australia) and I am hopeless at anything to do with catching/throwing/chasing balls, most would say I'm non-competitive.
But being my personal best is something I strive for. I've won awards for my writing, and I'm proud of my high IQ. I'm very good at art (although I pale into insignificance next to Lauren's work!) and I try to be innovative and encourage lateral thinking in the kiddies I work with.
Anyway, I'm going to go have a glass of lemonade with Vernu now; he's been playing with his new garden trimmer and wants to make the garden look "better than the neighbours, the best in the street"!! Very apt to this thread!
Alison
I don't know about being competitive but I can be quite territorial, especially if I'm worried something good I have will be taken away. This has already happened before.
I also think much of the kind of competition touted as good in society is very crass and ultimately self-deluding. Everybody can't be the top of the heap and anyway, even if you are you can't enjoy it for long as other people are coming up behind you.
Surely it's best to be as good at things as you possibly can (maybe that is competing against yourself) but without continually having to worry what someone else is doing. They aren't you and you aren't them so their ideas might not suit you and vice versa.
I'm not competitive with others - I just try to make things best I can and often I'm not satisfied with the results.
I try to learn to be more comfortable with what I can and what not. Trying to be best at all of the things I do, wears me out and then I'm getting sick and low on energy and can't manage anything.
So I voted the last line.
Still learning,
Sibylle
When I do compete, it's for the sheer fun of the game. If I win...great, if I lose... life goes on. I just don't get people who are so competitive that they suck all the fun out of it. I just like to participate and do my best!
The people who really make me sick are those who make a competition out of EVERYTHING. They have to wear the most expensive clothes, get the better grade, drive the biggest car, have the most "toys", and on and on and on. ad nauseum!
Peace
I am very competitive when it comes to mathematics. I have a strong desire to be the best. There are no prizes for second place.
This is a different point of view from most people here, but diversity prospers.
I really hate competition and people who are competative really get on my wick, no offence to those of you who are though.
I tend to think the same way, but again no offence meant to anyone who thinks differently. It is annoying to play a game for fun and then have someone abuse you for making a mistake.
I am completely noncompetitve, except with myself. But, I often have people think that I am competing with them because I offer a lot of information. I once worked with a cardiologist who would misdiagnose arrythmias to try and prove me wrong. Then the next day sneak and change it in the chart thinking no one would notice. His nickname was Little Hitler,lol.