Aspies For Freedom

I'm in a new job, new career, with a small career community - one in which word travels fast.

My supervisor in my current contract position is not a big fan of my job performance thus far, and now I believe she is trying to make a bad name for me amongst her colleagues (she shared a task I did that she felt was subpar with a a colleague without giving me any feedback on it and an opportunity to rework it, and didn't inform me she had done so) .  

Here's the rub:   How do I maintain good relations while standing up for myself?  

I already had a meeting with a Union Rep and the HR Manager  --  
HR agreed to address an inappropriate remark that was made to me, but also told me that I seemed 'anxious', and that if I go to work seeming anxious, I'll only invite more problems.   Okay - point taken.  (The condescending, prying, micro-managing, inappropriate boss was a contributing factor to what made me anxious in the first place, but let's not quibble over details).  My approach was to be grateful for her feedback and treat it as a learning opportunity for myself - even though it seems now that I'm wondering if she was covering herself to put it back on me should another issue arise.

Now it's clear from her sharing my 'unuseful' work with others, without informing me or giving me feedback, that the problem lives on, so I've requested another meeting for which I've written down my concerns. (I requested feedback myself after a few weeks went by).  

Here's what I'm wondering - when does one bring out the disability?  Since this is a contract position, what I do now will follow me - I could get this position again for several more years, and there's also post-graduation.   So I want to maintain good relations, but not at the expense of my rights and dignity.  On the other hand, if I bring out the disability in a small community with an active grapevine, will I ever get hired again ...

Part of me is just worn out.  I'm not convinced that this career is right for me (but that could just be the icky job talking).  And part of me also wonders if any career will work given my difficulties getting along with other people.  I can't figure out how to know if it's worth the shot, or time to throw in the towel.  (Is this the time for pro/con list?  I've never believed those are actually helpful ...).

This is usually where I used to give myself a pep talk and soldier on, but I'm realizing now that this approach has led me down unfruitful paths.  

Any words of wisdom out there - is there something obvious I'm missing?

My $.02
The most important thing with respect to your job performance is to have the situation be such that you are maximally effective.  To the extent that poor communication between you and your boss is undermining your effectiveness, it seems as if this issue is worth addressing.  Perhaps you can make constructive suggestions about how communication works best for you--for example, if your boss's directives are overly vague, then say you need more specifics--or if she gives you verbal directions you don't understand, say you want instructions by email so you'll be able to refer back to something concrete to guage progress etc.  Maybe have a meeting at a set time each week to go over work done, work expected to be done, and the like.

It doesn't sound like revealing your disability would help you much--difficult boss-supervisee relationships are endemic to the workplace--your disability may or may not have much to do with the problem.

Those are great suggestions - thank-you.   I had some similar thoughts, but  was lacking the constructive approach you've suggested.  

My thinking re:  'outing' the disability was related to the potential for getting job accommodations - I often find that the level of independence that is expected in training is something I can't live up to - for instance, it would help if I was given instructions compiled and written down rather than being expected to take my own notes and organize them myself.  And visuals - loooots of visuals.   These may seem small, but it makes a big difference in my performance at the outset for how long it takes for me to become, as you said 'maximally effective'.  

This then translates into a poor impression right off the bat that doesn't reflect the whole picture of what I can do.  For any new training experience, I make a first impression as both overly rigid and scattered, and then having to fight to prove myself.  In the past when I've asked for the supports that would help, it's generally made clear to me that my not being self-sufficient is ed upon.  

However, you're right that bringing the disability 'out' would create bigger hurdles.  It's a catch22.  

Anyways, if my sense of humour was in sync with reality, I'd insert a joke about this situation here:  "  ", and laugh about it.   Since at the moment I've got nothing, feel free to fill in your own, and something should come to me ...   :smile:  :grin:  :lol:

I did lose my last real career job due to my AS and problems in training.  I never did disclose but somehow my employers found out about it.  The problem is that if you do disclose then some people might understand but it will not change the poor performance perceived in the past.  They might say "well, why didn't you tell us before."   The position I had originally applied for was ideal for someone with AS but they just kept giving me more and more responsibilities and jobs that were not suitable until I failed.  I do not know if it would have been different if I had disclosed from the application, I might not have been hired anyway.  At least I had some income for 1 1/2 yr.  

I am sorry that I can not give too many suggestions for your situation.  You can only try to understand what might happen from someone else who disclosed in a similar situation.  How do they treat people with short term or long term disabilities due to injury or illness?  Do they have anyone on staff with physical disabilities:  visual, mobility, deafness?   I do not think that AS or a learning disability is the best place to start a workplace to have to deal with disability or diversity.  You should not try to be the first.  If there are others with disability or diversity working there you can point that out and explain how your AS needs accomodations but just in different ways.

Unions are usually good in that they support workers against managers with unreasonable requests.  Insisting in having written instructions is good.  It should be that way for every job but the problem is that someone has to write them.

I will say right up front that I believe everyone with the will to do so can succeed in the work force given the right opportunity.  If you have the will, and a situation does not work for, take the lessons you've learned and see if you can find the right situation.  Never stay in a place that leaves you so frustrated that you stop believing in your own abilities.

I say that out of experience.  Out of the many subordinates I saw struggle in one job situation, who were able to thrive in a different one.  No, they were not generally known to me to have a disability like Aspergers, but I still believe the concept applies.  Aspergers gives you unique gifts that will be valued by someone.  Find that someone.

As for managing in the current job situation, I think you can put forward your suggestions on things your boss can do to help you improve your performance without mentioning the disability.  A conversation along the lines of, "I know you have had frustrations with my work, but I really want to succeed at this job, so I hope we can work things out.  I've given a lot of thought to my own strengths and weaknesses and believe that the following changes in how you give me instructions will help me perform better."

When you show honesty, motivation, and initiative, you earn respect.  Making suggestions like those mentioned in this thread can display all 3.  Assuming you have a smart boss, anyway.

If you don't have a smart boss, well, it's time to move on.

A recent NAS survey discovered that only 3% of adults with a diagnosis of autism were living independently and without support in the United Kingdom.

Your view would make the other 97% (who do not have what you call "the will") somehow morally responsible for their situation. They become, in effect, "the undeserving poor" whose perceived existence seems to be an artefact of New World self-improvement beliefs.

Stella

First, Autism is different from Aspergers.  If I had felt I was speaking to a more affected group, I would not have spoken so broadly.  This thread, to me, has an audience of 1.  Someone who IS employed and has every reason to beleive he can succeed.  I think the boss mentioned is abhorrent.  I apologize if my attempt to direct one person offended others.  I confess I was worried about what I posted, but I stand by what I said for most people.  I have seen many different people with unique abilities succeed, and it does have a lot to do with will - and how each individual defines success.

Second, the UK and the US have very different systems.  I don't think I can adequately delineate the differences, but I will say that I don't think we can accurately compare accross cultures when it comes to employment issues.  I have relatives in other countries and the cultural differences make a large difference in who is employed, how they view that employment, and what not being employed means to their standard of living.  Each variable affects the end result.

I am raising a child with Aspergers, and maybe I am being naive, but I have been led to see it as an opportuntiy for him, not a handicap.   Yes, there are difficult bridges for him to cross, and he will need support doing so, but his uniqueness also gives him an ability to see beyond the boundaries set by technology, society, and other restrictions.  I live near Silicon Valley, and the buzz is that a high percentage of the entrepreneurs there are affected by Aspergers.  If they can turn it into an asset, when can't my child?  That's all I want for him, that he use his gifts as an asset.  Whether it makes him successful in business, or simply successful in finding a happy niche in life, that doesn't matter.

I'm here, though, to learn more.  So, if you need to beat me over the head so that I can serve my child better, I'll accept it.

I appreciate your concern, and while I don't doubt that your intentions are to be supportive, I would like to make a few points:  

1) You said "I have seen many different people with unique abilities succeed". I don't remember saying that I wasn't succeeding, or needed any assistance with succeeding, whatever that may be.
2)  I'm a she
3)  I live in Canada
4)  My 'will' is fine, thank-you.
5)  The audience for the thread is anyone who has access to the Internet.  It's a public forum.  

That being said, the comments you made were directed at personal character, and subjective experiences can't be defined by one individual for another.  You don't know me, to speak to the issue in that sense was off base.  

We all have to work hard at our lives to make the best of them - whether falling on an autism spectrum or not.

Really?

Many researchers have concluded that Asperger's Disorder is one and the same as so-called "high-functioning autism."

The International Classification of Diseases, 10th edition (ICD-10) describes Asperger's Syndrome as a disorder of "uncertain nosological validity" since it has proven difficult to distinguish meaningfully  between those diagnosed as having Asperger's and those diagnosed as being HFA.

There are a number of recent papers addressing this subject, and no consensus of opinion as to the status of Asperger's as a distinct clinical entity, or even whether those now diagnosed as having Asperger's  would have been recognised by Hans Asperger in his original research sample in 1944.

The example below is one of a number of such investigations of recent years:

*************************************************************

J Autism Dev Disord. 2005 Apr;35(2):235-40.


Asperger's syndrome: a comparison of clinical diagnoses and those made according to the ICD-10 and DSM-IV.

Woodbury-Smith M, Klin A, Volkmar F.

Yale Child Study Center, Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, CT 06520, USA. marc.woodbury-smith@yale.edu

The diagnostic criteria for Asperger Syndrome (AS) according to ICD-10 and DSM-IV have been criticized as being too narrow in view of the rules of onset and precedence, whereby autism takes precedence over AS in a diagnostic hierarchy. In order to investigate this further, cases from the DSM-IV multicenter study who had been diagnosed clinically with AS were assigned to appropriate DSM-IV/ICD-10 diagnostic categories. The analysis indicated that 11(23%) cases would be reassigned a diagnosis of autism by either ICD-10 or DSM-IV according to their onset and precedence rules, and 33(68%) would be diagnosed with AS. These results contrast with those of others who have stated that the diagnosis of AS using ICD-10/DSM-IV criteria is 'virtually impossible'. It is suggested that this is due to limitations inherent in these criteria, and alternative conceptualizations are discussed.

Publication Types:
Multicenter Study

*************************************************************


Good Luck with it all!  :smile:

Stella

I think I probably should stick with just the parents board.  I was hoping I could use my career experience to help give some insight into the work place for those who desired it, but, perhaps, the bridge there is just too large for me to cross.  If I read something into things that were said that I shouldn't have, perhaps that all the more shows my lack of ability in fully understanding the spectrum brain.  Seems I have a lot to learn.

I wish you all the best.

Stella,

On Asperger's v. Autism, I do understand that there are currently some very large differences of opinion as to what each means.  I only know how Asperger's was defined to me, and how I was told it applies to my son.  I don't think the doctor behind the term would recognize it in my son, to be honest.  But things are changing so fast, and the way societies are addressing individuals on the spectrum is changing so fast.

Everyone was shocked when they heard my son was being evaluated for Asperger's.  "Isn't that like Autism?  How can that apply to your child, when he is so emotional?"  He is.  Very emotional.  He understands his own emotions very well.  He just can't understand or tune into someone else's.

Anyway, it's totally off topic.  I came to this board to learn.  But, old habits die hard and I'm having a hard time remembering to listen rather than solve and advise.  Forgive me.

OK, anyone looking will see I posted after saying I wouldn't.  How about extreme caution?

DW, all the will in the world won't help you if your boss has it in for you and I don't think Payoola should have to kow-tow to her boss if that boss is so incompetent. I don't know any easy answers unfortunately as there are far too many bullying bosses around and because jobs are hard to come by they can get away with their bad behaviour more easily.

Great that you have documentation--facts will hopefully carry heavy weight in your presentation. What specific outcome(s) are you wanting to see happen?

I've got several appendages crossed for you. Good luck.