here is a FAAS tidbit
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http://www.mediate.com/comment/viewcomme...nclhdr=yes
Karen 09/15/05
"Perspectives: How Individuals with Asperger's Syndrome Often View Neurotypical Individuals"
In a recent article about Asperger's Syndrome, an adult with AS was quoted as complaining that neurotypical adults are "unpredictable, fickle and emotional." This fascinating comment reveals a great deal about the thinking of adults with AS and their feelings about NT family members. A little thought about this quote may give the reader some insight into the irony of mindblindness, and its heartrending effect on those who care for individuals with AS.
Yes, NTs might well appear to be "unpredictable, fickle and emotional" to the AS individual, precisely to the same degree that the AS individual is mind-blind. Since the AS individual cannot "see" environmental events that the NT can, s/he falsely assumes there is no basis for the NT's responses to the environment. This is best understood by analogy to a blind man being guided by a sighted man. The blind man would, theoretically, have the same basis for accusing his guide of being unpredictable, fickle and emotional:
1. Unpredictable - The blind man would experience his guide making unexpected turns and unpredictable stops, if he cannot see turns in the road and obstacles like red lights, other people, construction zones, open manholes, or traffic police.
2. Fickle - The blind man would be puzzled when the guide stops, turns around and goes the other way, if the blind man cannot see the dead end, the road block, or an angry dog blocking the road.
3. Emotional - The blind man would be puzzled when the guide expresses emotions such as alarm, excitement, or fear if he cannot see the demolition ball swing overhead, the parade, the purse thief, or the fire.
By analogy, many AS individuals have neurotypical guides -- parents, partners, and other family members. The individual with AS cannot "see" the social blunders s/he is talking to or walking into, the social-emotional obstacles, the body-language warnings, the signs of anger or distress in another, body-language warnings of stepping on another's toes, and the disastrous social consequences. Their NT guide can see these things and responds to them. But, because the AS individual "cannot see that s/he cannot see" the AS individual accuses the NT of being unpredictable, fickle or emotional.
Why don't we see blind people complaining that sighted people are unpredictable, fickle, and emotional? Why don't we see them berating their seeing-eye dogs for stopping abruptly and unexpectedly at a curb? Apparently, it's because they have insight about their disorder. They acknowledge and appreciate that their sighted guide can see things that they cannot, and they have the mind-vision to know that the guide's intention is to protect. They have the ability to imagine how things might look to their sighted guide.
In contrast, many AS individuals DO accuse their NT guides of being unpredictable, fickle and emotional. Apparently, it's because they lack insight into their disorder. Mindblindness itself can prevent them from being able to acknowledge and appreciate that their NT guides can see social-emotional processes and events that they cannot. They lack the mind-vision to know when a guide's intention is to protect.
Tragically, the NT guides who care must try to prevent and repair social-emotional destruction left in the wake of the AS individual to 1) outsiders, 2) the AS individual, and 3) the NT guide him/herself. This must be done without the support or appreciation (often in the presence of active antagonism) from the AS individual and from society. Ironically, the individual with AS may also find, perhaps correctly, that disparaging an NT guide often yields increased attentiveness and responsiveness. The analogy would be a blind man using his white cane to hit his guide,
It is helpful to see examples of AS individuals disparaging NTs in public, because it helps those who are facing the pain alone in their private lives to see and understand.
Author, anonymous FAAAS, Inc. 2005
If you don't, you should question why AFF remains a sponsor of IAY.