Again (I'm struggling for more than two years now) the mainstream school my 8 yr old son attends is trying to get rid of him.
By law he'd have to attend the school that fits his intelligence, but as he has very sincere social problems with his peers (or they with him :? , or maybe and probably it's more of a trouble caused by the parents) that causes behavatorial problems, they want him on a special school. The only gouvernmental school that would take him (as far as I know of) is one for misbehaving kids. The problem is, that my son would take on their misbehaving (as a plus to his own) and the problems would be double (at least that's, what the psychiatrist and therapist say and I agree with that). Another problem is, that that special school only provides the lowest of our three main educational levels. That would not fit my son's needs, intelligence and wishes (he wants to be able to go to the highest level and maybe study).
So I'm looking around what other possibilities there might be. One could be a Montessori school, where I have an appointment in a couple of days. Does anyone has experiences with this type of school/education and how it might fit an Aspies needs?
And no, I'm not rich, but maybe we could get a grant/studentship for my son at that school.
Or maybe another type of school?
Sibylle
I've heard Rudolf Steiner schools have a very enlightened attitude towards difference in children, but have no personal experience of them.
Stella
There's been a series of articles in a Norwegian newspaper recently where they complained that special needs students were badly neglected in Rudolf Steiner schools.
Here in Norway, the problem is that a lot of parents of children with learning disorders send their kids to "alternative" schools, wich these schools are not prepared for. In one Steiner school, almost the majority of the students were kids with ADHD or other learning disorders or special needs.
Perhaps they're not so good as I thought, then, Loner! :oops:
Stella
I believe the problem was that they hired too many unskilled substitute teachers and assistants.
I went to a German Montessori school in South Africa in the early 80's (when AS diagnosis was not very common) - I am 29. My teacher's name was Frau Ascui - A WONDERFUL PERSON!! She kept me separately from other kids because I was labelled "normal, but very shy".
I had meltdowns during social events, school concerts etc. and then I would be extremely clingy of my mother and cried non stop. My teacher didn't interfere and left me to do whatever calmed me down.
She taught me origami. I also preferred playing on my own with building blocks and stuff like that - drawing and "basteln". I could handle a pair of scissors much earlier than other kids and she let me cut and paste.
My experience is that Montessori is very individual and the child gets stimulated in the area of his interest. The teachers are also very open minded and non-biased. Normally have lots of patience. They are a bit like psychologists. You can't go wrong with Montessori.
Hope this helps :smile:
By the way, my young cousin (5) is in a Waldorf Schule and they are also very caring and open minded. Maybe you should investigate that as well.
Good Luck! :smile:
Thank you, Karms
Yes, that helped me. For my fear was, that the open and individual lessons could lead to my son doing nothing than he wants - and not learning the needed stuff. And maybe that it's not enough structure in the lessons.
Well, I liked from what I saw at that school. The looking was nice and home-like, more like a Kindergarten than a mainstream school. Even taking into consideration that schools nowadays aren't that cold anymore then they were in my times.
We'll have an try-out-day for my son arranged soon, but those appointments never were a problem, not at Kindergarten, nor at school. So the only thing I'd know something for sure was, if he had a real problem and would have a meltdown that day and the teachers couldn't cope with it.
The Waldorf/Steiner school that's near us is very strict in it's rules. Like forbidding TV and computers and stuff - and visiting the home of the kids to see if they'd fit in with that part of their paedagocical rules. So that's nothing I can agree with, for I see the need for the kids to know about computers and how to work with them. Even if I agree that watching tv is not neccessary for a healthy child development and my kids therefore have a quite resticted tv-time when they are with me. But at weekends with their father they do see much more tv and there's nothing I can do about it.
Sibylle
Yes, it will probably be the teacher with whom glory or failure will go on my son's success. The situation at the mainstream school was worse when he had another teacher than he has now and improved, when he changed to the current class. But now it's the teachers opinion (which I believe, for she made big attempts to keep him at school for the last 2 yrs) that he would fail at this school.
One problem on the mainstream school is, that the kids start to get marks this year and my son compares himself with all the others. And as he is very ambitious, he gets a crisis when he sees someone having a better mark than he has. Of course he had compared himself with others in the previous years as well, but it wasn't that easy to compare without official marks given.
I'd see this as a pro for the Montessori school, for they don't have marks and anyway, classes are small and it's three years in one classroom (sorry, don't know what you'd call it), so he will be with pupils of different age with whom he would not have to compare (having 7 to 15 classmates from grade one to three makes not that many in your grade to compare with). At least that's what I hope.
We'll have a meeting with the psychologist, headmaster (of current school), therapist, guide company tomorrow and a try out day for my son at the Montessori school on thursday.
Hope is the last thing that dies...
Sibylle
Thanks again, Karms, but I think that's the type of literature where my english knowledge starts to fail
But I'm working on improving my skills, even if that takes much time, because with two kids and appointments all around me there's not much time for my own wishes.
Sibylle
Well, at the mainstream school they get papers every half year (not for the first 2 grades, but from now on) with marks for any lesson they have (like maths, language etc.). The marks come from how the kids work verbally in the classroom and two test's per half a year. The test situation is quite a problem, it's supposed to be quiet, but of course with 25 kids in a room, there never will be silence and there are other classrooms to the left and right of them and they won't do test's the same time, so there will be rumor from the other classes heard.
Of course it depends on what a type of day my son has. For example on the first mathematics test he had a bad-starting day and wrote a 3 (marks go from 1 = best to 6 = not sufficent), so that's something I'm perfectly content with. The second test he had a normal-good start and became used to the situation of being tested and he got a 1 without any mistakes. But then, on a bad day he would not have the self-assurance he could do it and that (like in NT kids) causes problems.
Yes, trying to explain kids that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that they are very different in ppl like us and most others is, what I do, too. But even him getting believing that other kids have problems, is hard work, cause I think he can't see and understand that there might be problems in learning stuff, for he can do that easily.
It's such a pity, that the headmaster of the school had changed last year, for the new one does not havt the guts to resist the pressure from the other parents. And - what the psychologist finds disgusting, and I really can't understand - it's the parents with kids who have big problems on their own. They should be grateful if there was another kid with problems in the classroom, so the attention would be on the problems their own kid has. Well, I can't change it anymore, my son will have to leave the mainstream school, even having made progress in the last 6 weeks. He does not want to go, but the test day at the Montessori school was ok.
One problem I have, is, that the teacher there will have him without an guide/aide.
Sibylle
Thank you, Anag, that gives me hope :smile: and that's what I need most these days.
The situation not only causes a lot of stress on my son, it's also very stressing for me, so I'm running on low energies these days and every encouragement helps me, seeing the situation more positive.
I just got to wait for monday and tuesday, when he has another two days of trying out at that school. And then it's up to the money, if he'd have the chance for that school. It's private and usually costs money, but they have a severance scheme (?) and so I have some hope.
Sibylle
Well, the one thing I really can't understand is, why the leader of the public special needs school where he is supposed to go to (if the montessori doesn't work out) never made up an asperger group. I was told, that she had a degree in asperger-science about 30 yrs ago. And she is headmistress of that school for quite a lot of time. Even if the officials did not want to open a whole school for aspergers, she would have been able to make up a class for special needs aspergers at her school. So the aspies do have to be in mixed classes with the other "bad-behaving" pupils and are treated as if it was a pedagogical problem they have and not a neurodiversity...
Well, there's nothing to change with that now - I got to wait what the next two days will bring.
Did I ever mention, that I'm not a very patient person? :grin:
Sibylle
I think being in a noisy and disorganised classroom would be like being in a torture chamber for autistic kids with sensory issues.
tenaciouscj
Yes, that's true. I always hated it as a kid, when we had a "modern" teacher and I liked the old fashioned teachers, where everyone was expected to stay on his/her own place and be quiet! Then I knew what was expected of me.
I don't know if it would be the same with my son, for he did not have a fair chance to know such a classroom situation. The first teacher he had, was kind of old fashioned, but she wasn't very understanding and put very much pressure on him, so he had daily meltdowns :mad:
The things are going on good at the montessori school. And being quite comfortable at school makes life at home much more easy, too.
The only problem we now have is, that the school board (? right term?) won't allow my son to stay at that school (for several reasons, some I can understand, others not) and they won't take over the cost's, even though it's cheaper than the cost's for the aide/guide they'd have to pay for at any other school (because the special needs scholl that had to test him, decided so). He is attending the montessori school without any aide/guide and he's quite calm now. But that school is very small, so he has no problems, remembering all the people. Even when he's been disciplined (for shooting a soccer ball away from the schoolground twice - he had to stay indoors at the breaktimes for two days) he did not complain.
But it seems that my objections against the gouvernmental special needs school he was to be sent to have finally been heard by someone. There's another type of school they are talking about now, where he might go to. First they wanted to send him there from february on, but now it's more likely to be august. We'll see :roll:
Sibylle