Aspies For Freedom

Well, here in my state one really needs to examine the Montesori School because sometimes the kids are left w/o enough structure, and some of them can't handle that.  But you did the right thing in checking out the school first.

Also I agree with not placing your child in with the behaviour children/classes. They wanted to place my daughter in one of those classrooms, and in the same breath the staff said how some kids were so uncontrolled in bahaviour that some were barking like dogs.  Now I got to thinking: If 'Johnny' is barking and that gets him OUT of doing the work, what would any child at such a young age do? I know what I would do...I would howl and scratch!!! So I refused....

The result has been a battle w/ the school department. For 7 years, I tried what the staff required...and I agree : TA and subsitutes are not trained to help such students w/ 'special needs'. (As a side point, what I requested was that when a Sub was in the classroom, my daughter would have a pass to the library....all she had to do was present it to the sub -which by the way I had to make and get signed by the guidence staff - and she allowed to go to the library...) This worked well, until the librarian was out and my daughter was sent ALL over the school...

I had to pick and choose the battles...in the end when the special needs department pulled back their suport I opted for homeschooling ~ for my daughter its been heaven, for myself it's been one battle after another - would you believe not one phone call was made for my daughter for a year and a half, they now want to know where she is...go figure...

Anyways, if you choose to keep your child in the school settings, there are ways around other parents, difficult teachers and bully students...

I'm not rolling in the cash too, however some insurances have been known to pay for OT, speach etc...I've even heard that some doctors are so understanding that horseback riding is a wonderful tool for children w/ autism that they write scripts for that...haven't met one, but they are out there...

Hoping you the best.

I see a pro and a con with Montessori.  The con is the potential lack of structure; the pro is that teachers are trained to try to adapt to the needs of each child.

If the current school situation clearly is not working, it sounds like you don't have anything to lose by giving Montessori a try.  Make sure the teacher understands the clear rules, structure and guidance your child will need, and that they feel they can accomodate it.

Whether it works or not - will probably depend upon the gifts of the particular teacher your child will have.

It's not only the teacher though... The child also plays a vital role in having a good "teacher-student" relationship. As with therapy, it is the relationship between the two people that results in good education or healing, and with any relationship, both people have to put in some effort to have positive results.

With AS it is important for the teacher to understand how the child's brain works (this can be improved with psycho education from an autism therapist working with teachers).

Paula Jacobsen wrote a brilliant book on exactly these aspects where she explains how these children think and operate, through her exprience of working with Asperger children.

I own this book and you can read more about it here. It has good reviews from readers.

Asperger Syndrome and Psychotherapy: Understanding Asperger Perspectives  
Paula Jacobsen

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN...46-5432667

(sorry for the long link...I hope it works)

Sure. But do give it to your son's teacher to read.

I can totally relate to what you are saying about grades.  My son would receive weak marks on classroom work, but for the annual standardized tests here, he does really well.  So, while I dread explaining to him why report card marks are low (he sees himself as doing much better than he is), I know I can offset that by reminding him how well he did on the annual standardized test.  The annual standardized test is done in a quiet room and involves multiple choice questions - the perfect situation for him.  Do you have tests like that where you are?  If you have the different experiences to discuss, I think it will help the classroom performance marks be better understood by your child.

My son has reached the age where I do have to start explaining some of these things.  Letting him know that while there are many ways he shines, he does have his weak areas, and he has those because his brain works different, and it is all OK.  He has to work hard on those areas, yes, but there are other areas he can fly through, and other children have to work hard.  I tell him it all comes out even in the end.  We all play with the cards we've been given.

ANYWAY, good luck with your decision.

The problem of not having an aide MIGHT not be a problem.  When my daughter was left alone, while in public school ~ she did her work.  It took more time, but she was content and she didn't need an aide...it was the stuff that was forced onto her and the things she didn't get and HOW it was presented to her that made her avoid the tasks....So maybe once your son gets the hang of what he's doing, ex math and the teacher has explained it to HIS understanding, he just might do well on his own....

Just my two cents...

No problem, I know sometimes we feel like it's us against them...and they are winning.  When all we desire is teaching our children to survive and enjoy life as best as they can.

As a teacher myself, I do see both sides to the story, but I don't understand why staff can't put a little more effort into understanding their job.  Sure we are only human, and I would state that in my classroom during parent teacher meetings.  I'll do my best, but just like everyone else I have bad days, need to deal w/ 19 other bad days and their parents, including TA, supervisiors, principals etc etc...but to see the light shine in a child's eyes just because you take the time to help them is worth it all.

Never give up, YOU are your child's advocate.  Some days you think it's too much, yet other days you'll overflow w/ joy just seeing your child enjoy one day at school.

One important thing to remember is not to burn your bridges.  Out of seven years of public school only two people I refuse to accept their
'help', if you can call it that. (We are civil and bid each other a "Hello" and that's it...)  Otherwise than that, I've made aquaintances that every once in a while point me in another direction because I didn't sever our connections eventhough they didn't understand or agree with my desisions.

As for the stress on your son, it's very real.  This can lead to him being overwhelmed and appear that he is acting out.  Keep him involved as much as you can....ask the teacher if he can have at least one desision to be his...maybe a seat in the room etc...just so that he feels some control over the situation...

Hope this helps....