11-13-2005, 04:35 PM
Your post called to mind my dating disasters in college, which now make a lot more sense in the context of Asperger's. Without going into all the gory details of some memorable examples, my typical date pattern would involve me going on and on at length and with great enthusiasm about my special interest (chemistry at the time). My date would sit there and get off on all the passion I was exuding without caring a whit about the content of what I was saying. At some point, he'd basically say something like "enough of this already" and make his sexual move. Then I would completely freeze. He'd be embarrassed or ticked off, and I'd be bewildered as to where the sexual move had come from--I mean, we were talking about chemistry, right? (Context--these events would happen while "parking" or on walks in the forest, etc...) Because I pesented myself as cute and vivacious, I got asked out by a lot of guys my freshman year--once each.
Eventually, I stopped dating and worked instead on learning how to be friends with guys--since I was the only "girl" chemistry major in my class, contact with the male species was unavoidable. Now, I have great friends of both genders and still cannot do the romance thing. So, my advice, such as it is, is based more on theory than practice. As I think about it, you might want to see if there are any NT female history buffs you can become buddies with and then, once you're friends, come clean with the ASD thing and ask her advice on how to do dates--what to say, when, etc. I wish you the best of success!
Eventually, I stopped dating and worked instead on learning how to be friends with guys--since I was the only "girl" chemistry major in my class, contact with the male species was unavoidable. Now, I have great friends of both genders and still cannot do the romance thing. So, my advice, such as it is, is based more on theory than practice. As I think about it, you might want to see if there are any NT female history buffs you can become buddies with and then, once you're friends, come clean with the ASD thing and ask her advice on how to do dates--what to say, when, etc. I wish you the best of success!