Aspies For Freedom

thrasher Wrote:

I don't know it is healthy or not but i it is only logical possibility. For entire my life, i assumed that everybody thinks (thinking process based on analysing all availble data and drawing logical conclusion - ofcourse where input data are wrong or incomplete , that leads to wrong solution, which is source of all troubles for us Smile

) like me, but now, when i know what difference is between aspie and NT brain i can't play this illusion anymore. When i was school i feel that i was 'to smart' for others kids, but this feeling doesn't change.Before i self diagnosed AS, i have simply explanation that i am more adult that my friends in band or work, my family,girls i was atracted to.I see so many childish traits in NT behavior : they are stuborn and panic when confronted with logical arguments, they are not honest, have problem in focus on one topic in discussion (never met NT who has any strong interest,passion,hobby - in aspie meaning), their favourite topic is bubbling about nothing , it is so easy to predict their behavior (ofcourse when you don't assume that they think in aspie way),they so easy lost selfcontrol and let their emotions flow. Now i have feeling that i am living in big kindergarten, and i never let lower down myself to that level (although being borderline aspie i clearly hear some distant 'herd calling' in my soul)

Yeah, i am quite arrogant, but i cannot deny what i am Smile

but that doesn't mean that i don't care about NT. I love helping them, now i will try parenting them, becouse i know that 90% of them are full of love, compassion, good human beings. I feel bad when i manipulate them (that is so easy for aspie equipped with modern psychology knowledge).

I want some feedback about this issue ' perceiving NT as a child', i cannot find any flaws in my reasoning , but i am quite sure that another aspie can.

Feedback: be careful in thinking you are superior to others. It will likely only lead you to a harsh reality check.

You are probably correct that you think "differently", but somehow you will have to learn how to respect NTs just as much. Right now you appear to have placed quite a distance between yourself and them. So long as you hold disdain for them, they will not like you or seek to help you out in life - I guarantee your quality of life will suffer for it. It's a common AS defense (especially among those with high or exceptional IQs) to "rest easy" in the knowledge that they are "smarter" than NTs - but intellect is only one function among many, and setting yourself apart by it is bound to end in miserable isolation.

Careful in thinking that you have the power to "manipulate" NTs with "modern psychology knowledge"... the dumb ones might fall for it, but many NTs may just see what you are trying to do and play along with it - you, being AS, are less equipped to detect when they are the ones playing you. It works both ways, my friend...

The more you separate yourself from the rest of humanity, as NT as it may be, the more lonely you will be. It is always in good interest to focus on why others are similar to you, not unlike you...

Just some friendly advice...

My daughter is the only white child in her class and the school board makes enormous effort to accommodate other cultures. Why not mine?

My daughter said it best. After the meeting my eight year old daughter said to me, "Mom, why were they all squishing me in there?"
I said, "What do you mean squishing you?"
She said, "They were all squishing me with the eyes and their breath."

Anyway, my point is that if aspie behaviors were perceived as having meaning in the context of being of a diverse culture then possibly society would be changed in some very positive ways. It would be less conformist for one thing.

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I have sat through similar meetings or encounters with strangers so I can relate. Re cultures, there is a lot of reverse racism unfortunately.

Re the anal teacher: You either have love or you don't. You'd be surprised how many people don't have love. Period.

As a result of the above, sometimes now I find myself being very, very honest and/or abrupt with people. I just tell them they are wrong or have forgotten my daughter is an Aspie or will remind them to read whatever hand-out I gave them in the first place at the start of the school year, etc. It usually stops them DEAD in their tracks.

Recently TWO women at the local animal shelter met me at the door and said they didn't think my daughter's PROMISED volunteer activity would work out due to the fact she had trouble with the smell of the place. Never mind she WAS doing the work and well...

I told one of them she was NOT helping and to basically (non-verbally) butt out and told the "decider" that my daughter would probably get over the smell (she did, by the end of the day) and that it had taken four months to set up this gig in the first place. By the end of the discussion the "decider" was being apologetic. I also had to remind both of them she was an Aspie and didn't they want to help provide volunteer opportunities or not?

I then called her job coach and told him to put these folks on the "do not call" list in the future.

And so it goes. In the end all are educated I think though these things can leave emotional scars.

hrick Wrote:

Guest Wrote:

Well one culture's bad manners are another culture's good manners. There are all sorts of ways that we're asked to accept cultural difference and to respect it as having meaning. If aspie behavior were accepted and given the same respect as any other cultural difference I think society would be improved. Instead I find that I get pathologized in all sorts of ways because aspie behavior is not recognized as meaningful or being part of a diverse culture from the norm.

I am sorry to give such a long example but it is relevant to what I'm trying to say in the above post about how aspie behavior has meaning beyond just a symptom of a disorder......��

No need to quote your whole, but I thought you should know that while you may not have been able to respond in the moment your commentary here speaks volumes.��I'd omit the guidance counselor's comments about the teacher so as not to cause friction between coworkers, but I think you ought to consider copying the bulk of it, possibly along with the original question and forwarding it on to both the guidance counselor and principal along with a separate request that they refrain from scheduling any further meetings absent "good" cause.

If it is any consolation they can have the same affect on NT's.��I still remember meetings with school in which we sat two on one side of the table to their 10 or 12 on the other with the teachers being extremely condescending, treating us as if we were their 10 year old students. I suppose it is part of human nature, or at least NT human nature,��to become condescending and dictatorial in response to being put in a controlling position. What is worse is the more inept they are the louder they seem to be. Even I've been bowled over .. and I'm NT and extremely assertive. Ultimately it led to Hrick's being Cyber schooled.

As to the posts question, NT tendency is to judge others for their differences based on what we as NT's believe them to mean.��Understanding negates judgment and ultimately should breed simple acceptance.��How you develop or spread understanding becomes the more practical problem.��One on one it is a lot to have to keep explaining to people. This site is great for that, but people only come if they have an initial interest. Where that leaves you I'm not sure.��
Mom of Hrick

Hrick's view is something I completely agree with. I'm a 17 year old Aspie female but at least 2/3 of my friends are NTs. People sometimes feel threatened by what they don't understand.Conformism is just a method to make whatever the sect feel comfortable.My NT friends often complain about not fitting in- they often mention about being stereotyped and wanting to be normal- some of them change their entire appearence and attitude to fit in! I've felt the same way in early junior high but I've learned it's better to just be yourself. My mantra: Educate. Adovocate. Cultivate.
Educate- help others learn about particular behaviors NT or not it fosters questioning and begins the process of understanding
Adovocate- stick to a cause and explain about your behaviors- it helps break social barriers and both sides feel more comfortable
Cultivate- work to form networks and relationships with others- mutual understanding comes with responsibility too!

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lonelywolf

Ellen

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