]I'm daunted at the thought of having to deal with all these professionals who might rip me off or whom I might rub up the wrong way by asking stupid questions. Plus there's my complete inexperience in DIY...
When I first tried to seek advice about buying a property, some people said I should see a financial advisor in the first instance, while others said, "Oh no, no, no, you don't want to see a financial advisor," but didn't say why not.
It seems I need to seek advice on where to seek advice on where to seek advice...
You're right to be wary of the various professions involved in the purchase of property. They are all inveterate liars, and as such you should take everything they say with a large pinch of salt. I wouldn't worry about asking stupid questions, most estate agents aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the box, and to be honest my experience is that they know very little about property, apart from how to sell it.
And financial advisors...hmm....shovels of salt required here. There's some value in listening to what they have to say, but only if you can corroborate what you've been told by your own research. This is the most important thing, IMO. There's a wealth of information available online, and the weekend supplements of the broadsheet newspapers often contain useful information on all aspects of house purchase.
To summarise, it's not as daunting as people make out. In fact, some of the characteristics those of us with AS have can put us at an advantage. However, I'd strongly advise you take an NT male with you when dealing with the people you've mentioned. And I'll reiterate; never believe what you're told, even by the big-name banks, unless you've got it in writing.
What characteristics? There doesn't seem to be any agreement as to what characteristics are integral to AS."
The ability to see through all the BS and look at things objectively. Of course, that's not a universal aspie trait.
However, I'd strongly advise you take an NT male with you when dealing with the people you've mentioned.
How the hell am I going to manage that?
It was advice. I don't know how you'll manage that, thats up to you. I notice a hint of scorn in your reply, can you explain why?
I don't have any friends now (and certainly none that could afford a house anywhere, let alone in London) but it's still possible to affect the value of houses in run-down areas, simply by making your own property attractive.
I refer you to my earlier remark about my complete inexperience in DIY.
If you have no male family member or neighbour or a church minister etc. who could help you out here, then that would be unusual, and Alan could not have been reasonably expected to assume this.
I don't feel able to turn to my immediate family for help; they might be willing to get involved but I'm wary of allowing them to exercise undue influence on my decisions. As for neighbours, I haven't got to know them since I moved to Exeter a year ago, and I attend a Quaker meeting, not a church. Why the sexist assumption that only men are suitably qualified?
I don't believe anybody said that only males are 'qualified'. It is a fact that many people assume it is easier to get a woman to spend more money than whatever is being sold is worth (car dealers are a good example). Even though that isn't fair, it's a good idea to have a man with you, just so people don't try to deceive you. Besides, it's never a good idea to make deals worth a lot of money without having somebody with you who you know you can trust, and who has good common sense. It's much harder to trick two people than one.
Uschi
it's never a good idea to make deals worth a lot of money without having somebody with you who you know you can trust, and who has good common sense.
Right, so first I have to find someone I can trust and then, and only then, can I consider buying a property. Don't tell me - why don't I join some clubs and societies and eventually I'll have a circle of friends. I'm not holding my breath.
It's been a while since there was any activity on this thread, but on another Asperger's forum I happened to raise the subject as a digression on a thread on political orientation. I reproduce the resulting dialogue below. The username has been changed to avoid recognition, although some AFF members may recognise his distinctive writing style. Frankly I feel most hurt at his use of words, effectively calling me "unthinking thick": and implying that my own family is less than decent just because we haven't found a way ("common sense", allegedly) of sharing house ownership. My parents live in London, as do my two brothers: the younger one lives at home, the other has just bought his first flat with his girlfriend, a key worker. With me living in Exeter, how are we supposed to pool our housing resources? Unless Ravel_Sinatra is implying it's all my stupid fault for wanting to move away from London. :evil:
In fact I already knew that Ravel_Sinatra was a homeowner of sorts. I confess that I once Googled his real name (I'd discovered that from a piece on another website that was obviously by him). My search led to a site on which Ravel_Sinatra related having bought (yes, bought - none of this beating round the bush with pretentious talk about "negotiated reshuffling" or "management of homeowner resources to optimally share out housing needs" etc) a house in Dunfermline, Fife, in 1995. However, the site where I originally found out his real name gave his address (2003) as South Queensferry (a suburb of Edinburgh), so did he sell the Dunfermline house? Who knows.
I'd long wondered how Ravel_Sinatra had managed to become a homeowner without a regular income (his profile gives his occupation as "protestor!"), but so long as he never mentioned it on the forum I couldn't ask him about it. I suppose it's possible that he's had a job or various jobs over the years which he considers to be secondary to his main unpaid occupation of "protestor" but how could this be enough for a mortgage? Unless properties in Dunfermline in the mid-90s were so cheap they were practically being given away for free!
I genuinely wondered (and you can call me naïve for this) that this might indicate some other way round the housing problem, other than rent vs mortgage. Some secret rule that Ravel_Sinatra was privy to. Call me daft, but I've spent so much of my life feeling as though I'm caught up in a game where other people know all the rules and I don't.
:arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::ar row:
Ravel_Sinatra: The Tory right to buy council houses was a success at increasing the stock of lower price private homes. That was democratic because you are better off, in terms of independence from bureaucratic interferers, if you are an owner than a renter. That's deliberately why the Soviet bloc favoured having all housing rented from the state on principle: don't have life independence from the state. I live in a privatised maisonette myself, in a block of 4 where the upstairs are privatised and the downstairs are still council.
Sjöjungfru: How do you manage to keep up your mortgage repayments on a protestor's salary? I'm a full-time civil servant and I can't afford to buy a property in Exeter.
Ravel_Sinatra: Where was anything said about having a mortgage, eh? I can only afford to be a homeowner from my family already being it and a negotiated reshuffling of that.
Sjöjungfru: So your relatives bought you a house?
Ravel_Sinatra: "Relatives" sounds a bit distant. We are talking about line-of-descent family management of homeowner resources to optimally share out the meeting of needs.
Sjöjungfru: Oh, so it was your parents then?
Ravel_Sinatra: Broader language than "parents" is needed because the line-of-descent concerned is longer than that. The resource management has always taken place recurrently over time. Why shouldn't families cooperate to help each other, both horizontally and vertically in relation? It's an awful part of capitalism that the unthinking thick often assume it's just socially normal, hence right, for families to Balkanise unnecessarily and take out mortgages and not help each other.
Ravel_Sinatra: I was insisting on giving these answers in terms that showed I was making a general point that could apply to all decent families, while Sjöjungfru kept turning it into a personal question about just me. If I allowed it, any answer I gave could be interpreted as an aberrant personal circumstance and the point missed that it was common sense for applying to all combinations of family circumstance where home some ownership had been established. That was getting to me.
buying a home is right up there on the stressful list such with death of a spouse, having a baby, losing a job, starting a new job, moving, getting married, etc.
It is not unusual for single people to purchase homes in the city where I live at all. Any good real estate dealer should know they need to show properties that their clients are interested in.
It helps if you know what you want. What area and price range and other details. The agent should show you properties that have all the features that you want. When you go to view properties take your time and bring a notebook to right down details about each property. I know people who looked at dozens of properties before buying. Couples have to negotiate with each other on features that either likes or dislikes. A single person does not have to deal with the stress of making their partner happy.
buying a home is right up there on the stressful list such with death of a spouse, having a baby, losing a job, starting a new job, moving, getting married, etc.
It is not unusual for single people to purchase homes in the city where I live at all. Any good real estate dealer should know they need to show properties that their clients are interested in.
It helps if you know what you want. What area and price range and other details. The agent should show you properties that have all the features that you want. When you go to view properties take your time and bring a notebook to right down details about each property. I know people who looked at dozens of properties before buying. Couples have to negotiate with each other on features that either likes or dislikes. A single person does not have to deal with the stress of making their partner happy.
I would also suggest that you write down a list of what features you need and which ones you'd like but would be prepared to negotiate about. The most vitally important thing is to have a budget and stick to it because Real Estate agents tend to get people to spend more so their commission will be higher.