my boyfriend takes melatonin daily to help him sleep. he uses room darkening shades. he also takes a mild herbal 'cocktail" of poppy and/or valerian and/or skullcap.
even with all this, he has difficulty with sleep.
we spoke earlier this morning on the phone, were having dialogue, and then, he drifted into a very non-verbal mode. long silences. if he were an NT, i'd wonder if he was on drugs or if something terrible had happened, like he was having a heart attack or something.
does this happen to aspies? do aspies, when feeling overwhelmed or overloaded, appear to retreat into a non-verbal space? he says he is just tired. he says it is just monday morning mode. if i did not know about AS, i'd think he was behaving bizarrely. he's saying "just accept me" and i see no reason not to, except for my being confused.
Yes, that's what sometimes happens to me as well. When being tired or overstimulated it's just, as if I can't speak. But some NT don't talk a lot in the morning, as well. Or they are in a bad mood. I don't think this is something to worry about.
Sibylle
i wonder what is "wrong" with me that i need to come to this forum for reassurance! reassurance makes me so happy. i really wish it was my boyfriend, himself, who could explain things to me. he says he has no clue about AS. the only clue i have that he does know about AS is that, when he is feeling rejected, he refers to himself as a "freak", which (when) he is definitely not (a freak).
i need the reassurance. it helps me accept the things about my boyfriend that are (on the surface) puzzling, odd, or even bizarre.
he's a loving, kind, concerned person, who has some unusual habits.
Some people give the "silent treatment" when they are angry. Some with AS will just appear silent, maybe blank but that is not always because they are angry.
They could just be thinking about something, tired, overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, I can just "zone-out" and not even respond to someone talking to me. It is not because I do not want to response, sometimes it is just that I know they are saying something but it is just not making any sense in my brain. This is just time to be alone or sleep. Toooooo much stress.
So you might have to ask: are you upset about something, tired? My husband sometimes accuses me of using the silent treatment when I am quiet but if he had been angry at me before I just do not know what to say without him starting more fights.
M, i think you may be right with this. i am a chatty person. i think i have to learn to be silent myself, until my boyfriend is ready to speak.
"do aspies, when feeling overwhelmed or overloaded, appear to retreat into a non-verbal space?"
I think it is common.
"i wonder what is "wrong" with me that i need to come to this forum for reassurance! reassurance makes me so happy."
That is likely part of being an NT. I wouldn't worry about it.
Myself, I am unable to keep consistent sleeping patterns without being sleep-deprived. Every day is a bit too short for me. During weekends and holidays, it's not much of a problem, as I can then, with a few exceptions, stay awake as long as I want to and then sleep as long as I want to. During school however, I either have to:
1. Go to bed (far) too late and then get up, sleep-deprived, early in the morning. This way I can keep semi-consistent (the amount of sleep I get varies periodically between ~7-2 hours, and most of the time is around 5 hours) sleeping patterns, but being sleep-deprived nearly every day is not exactly nice.
2. Sleep more freely, and try to extend a day when I start getting tired at an inconvenient time, and compensate this later. This means that my sleeping patterns can go something like this: (the order of those examples shift pretty randomly and unpredictably, however)
day 1: stay up until it's time to go to school; go through school (and likely get tired sometime either before or after lunch); sleep an hour or two when I get home; get up to eat; sleep until between 8-10 in the evening.
day 2: pretty much the same as day 1, but with slight variations.
day 3: stay up during the night until about 6 in the moring; sleep for about 1 1/2 hours; go through school (and likely be very tired during the moring, but not later during school); stay awake during the rest of the day;
day 4: pretty much the same as day 3, but with slight variations.
day 5: go to bed early; go through school (likely not being especially tired); stay awake during the rest of the day;
I have recently gone over from 1 to 2. I think the last of the consistancy of my sleeping patterns finally died during the last summer. So far it's been an improvement, as I overall get more sleep and spend less time being sleep-deprived. For me, keeping a "normal" sleeping pattern simply doesn't work.
I have recently gone over from 1 to 2. I think the last of the consistancy of my sleeping patterns finally died during the last summer. So far it's been an improvement, as I overall get more sleep and spend less time being sleep-deprived. For me, keeping a "normal" sleeping pattern simply doesn't work.
Same with me, I have terribly erratic sleeping patterns. It's only been getting worse and worse lately. I think what I have is called 'Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome'.
I've probably missed about half of school because nobody has been able to wake me up in the morning. That is, when I can even cope with going to school.
I'm often at school after being awake for over 24 hours, so I'm usually stumbling around like a stoned freak with little or no idea of where I am or where I'm going, and with no mental energy whatsoever. Why do I even go to school? I have no idea at all.
my boyfriend takes melatonin daily to help him sleep. he uses room darkening shades. he also takes a mild herbal 'cocktail" of poppy and/or valerian and/or skullcap.
I'd be careful with valerian, many on the Spectrum can have paradoxical reactions to drugs, and a small percentage of people actually get racing heartbeat, anxiety and restlessness from valerian.
If your sleep patterns are so irregular, could a homeschooling program work out better for you?