All we ever hear is that we don't try hard enough, that we could understand if we tried to, that we are deliberately misunderstanding something or someone, that all we needed to do was to pull our socks up, etc etc etc.... :roll:
Stella
M, people who are pitied are usually worse off, I think it would be better to be respected and offered jobs, than to be pitied and have pennies thrown at us for 'being entertaining'.
I'm not sure it's ever possible for NTs to understand us, or we them. The situation is one of intrinsic mutual incomprehension, which is why they have invented a category of diminished being-in-the-world for us called autism.
But, yes, they could accept that we are different,
Stella
I imagine most people woudl probably find it annoying since they wouldnt be aware you had it unless told or they had a knowledge of it.
I get the Annoying more than I get the pitied, in reference to me. Which I can handle. But when I get the pitied, as in, "Oh there seems to be something WRONG with Amber" (my daughter). Then I go quasi-ballistic and remind them that she's fine and is a chip off the "ol' block(head), as in me..."The Old Man."
Peace
Was AS really relevant though? It seems that you were simply disagreeing on how you would each deal with an ethical dilemma, and just because you had different opinions didn't necessarily mean that that was because you had AS. I say this because sometimes it can be difficult to know which of our defining features are AS-related or simply matters of difference, and it seems to me in this case that this wasn't AS related. I'm sure there's Aspies out there who would risk their lives for their pets, for example.
EnglishLulu, it can be the same on NT parents forums, if they can't pity you, and if you disagree with them on a topic, it then seems to turn to 'well you don't understand because you are an aspie' or 'you are being argumentative just because you are an aspie'. Even though one is simply offering a different viewpoint.
Not every NT parents forums is like that, but most are.
Unless it can't be avoided, it's best not to tell NTs one has ASD.
Far from creating a climate of understanding, it creates deeper misunderstanding. If one expresses a view not usually held, a fresh insight, or new way of talking about something, NTs will dismiss all one says as an artifact of mental disease once they know one has ASD.
Stella
What about in real life? Sometimes its essential to tell people, unless you want to be grossly misunderstood or not get any help.
Such as college, University, some jobs, receiving health care.
I didn't vote because I think two of the answers can be applicable depending on the situation. I think with most aspies we annoy people (and maybe even infuriate them) because they do not understand where we are "coming from", and aspies can be somewhat rude and harsh compared to NT social behaviour. If you tell the NT why you are different, then I think it is highly likely that you will then be either pitied or not believed. Can I safely assume that anyone who refers to aspies as "sufferers" is pitying us?
Whether or not you are happy to settle for pity instead of insisting or hoping for respect is your choice, possibly based on your judgement of your own circumstances. I am not happy with pity, in fact the way I react to pity is the same as Velvet Elvis's reaction
If I ever get the impression that someone pities me, I will gladly go out of my way to offend them until they stop.
:lol:
You think too much is a very common thing that I have been told too.
How it would be possible to think less, I have no idea.
I suppose that doesn't occur to people when they say it. :roll:
Fairly recently I was told that I think too much by someone. That comment got a snappy response. :twisted:
I've also been told that I think too much, but that was from a very controlling, emotionally abusive ex. Fortunately I'm out of that situation and in a relationship with a REAL man who values my opinions and intellect.
I get told the same thing, tenaciousj, it seems to come with the territory I guess!
Peace
Yup!
"You think too much, you analyze too much!"
Mantra of my mother....but I say:
You can never have too much analysis..Love it, LOVE it!
:lol: It's who I am, people, deal with it! :razz: Right now I'm doing a variation on the old 50's song, "You Talk too much" in my head.
You think too much,
you worry me to death.
You think too much,
you even worry my pet!
You just thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink,
think too much!
You think about things you'v never seen.
You think too much, you make me scream.
You think about things that you don't know!
You think about things wherever you go!
Ok, I'll stop now! :razz:
Peace