Aspies For Freedom

If we were pitied more we might be able to have some charity funds come it.   We could make painting or computer games and sell them for profit.  I need a job.

Yep yep. I don't really want pity though, all I ask for is understanding and acceptance. I don't want public funds- then people will resent me- I just want them to realize that things are different for me, that trying harder will mainly stress me out, and that I have strengths which they don't and am valuble in my own right, the way I am, without being more like them.

Quite agree.  But I think that when people understand then they will be ready to accept.

My housemates usually understand why I do something (e.g. I must have my things in a certain section of the fridge). They accept this because they understand why (well almost anyway).

I would rather be pitied than abused. As an Aspie with a ton of co-morbitities, clinical depression , brain damage at birth which caused the aspie , also very psycollogically fragile and zero ability to handle stress, brutal abuse at home and being bullied til I attemped suicide at school, and constant abuse and discrimination as an adult, I would much rather have people feel sorry for me than f*****ng me over. I have never understood why people in wheelchairs "don't want to be pitied" . It's great for getting the unlimited  special treatment at any cost to other people around them they always seem to get.

I've been abused too, for my entire life. Quite a bit of it probably was related to my aspiness.

I still don't want to be pitied though. It's about personal dignity and equality. If other people pity me, I don't feel like an equal. Inevitably, people who might pity me at first tend to take on a more high-handed and possibly abusive role later on....

I think I used to go out of my way to annoy people just so I didn't have to deal with the paranoia of being accidentally annoying.  Unfortunately I'm now getting too old for the in-your-face punk rock attitude thing and am being reminded that when I try hard to get along with people it still doesn't work.  Telling everyone to f*ck off at the drop of a hat was easier.

If I ever get the impression that someone pities me, I will gladly go out of my way to offend them until they stop.

I recently 'came out' as Aspie in an online debate, because the other person was being overly sentimental and emotional.  In case you're interested, the debate was centred around the recent hurricanes and whether a person who the authorities offered to evacuate was right to stay in the danger zone because they couldn't take their dog.

To summarise:  I thought it was daft to potentnially sacrifice a human life for a dog.  I loved my cats, so I'm not anti-animal or inhumane, but I wouldn't effectively commit suicide to try and save my cats.  I'd get the hell out.  Buy another dog or cat or whatever.

The other person was very cutting and offensive about how heartless I was and stuff, so I explained, actually, I'm not heartless, I'm just not overly emotional, I'm actually logical, reasonable and rational.  Because I have Asperger's Syndrome.

The other person said:  "Oh, sorry to hear that."  

But I replied: "I'm not sorry!"  [In fact I'm rather glad I wouldn't sacrifice my life for a dog! :roll: ]

And then the other person kind of shut me off, adopted this really supercilious, kind of, oh, you shouldn't even be debating this then, you're not my equal kind of thing.   He didn't say that explicitly, but that's what his comments amounted to.  

So I try to explain that I'm wired up differently, which still means, in my book, that I have a valid opinion, it's just a different perspective.  And the idiot says "sorry" and pities me.  @rsehole!

"I have never understood why people in wheelchairs "don't want to be pitied" . It's great for getting the unlimited special treatment at any cost to other people around them they always seem to get."

I need a little wheelchair to wear on my head.  Would people get the idea?  

The abuse is because sometimes I say something that is taken the wrong way by people.  I do not want to be callous or cruel.  So if I stop trying to talk to people socially then I am still abused for that.  Why can't people understand that it would be better if I did not talk to them?

While I find it amusing on occasion, I've never really felt that I *need* to have much of a social life.  I've always had a couple non-NT friends who I can *** with from time to time and that's been enough.  *I* know that I don't usualy mean to be cruel.  If people can't understand me as I mean to be understood, that is their problem and not mine.

I had a funny conversation with my friend about this:

My friend: I've decided I'm going to think less and act more.

Me: You thought about that, didn't you?
My friend: Yep  

I get told I think too much AND overanalyse. Guess I'm guilty of this. No-one says how you can think and analyse less though.

As for the pity aspect, I don't want to be patronised or condescended to, but as long as the pity isn't overdone, it's okay with me.

I don't know about pitied.  Patronized, definitely.  Or else ignored, I find that really irritating, when you say something and people just talk right over you without listening.  I HATE that.  
Alison

I don't see any pity in society for us but I see plenty of ignorance and impatience.

People have a whole range of attitudes to us - pity, admiration, annoyance, fear, patronising,  rejection,  ignorance  etc.

I don't mind being pitied as much as being rejected and not listened to because of my condition.