I found this site on the net. It is an organization for people who grew up with AS parents. Apparently these adult children now have issues related to being raised by AS parents. I think that the site is discriminatory. I think that the issues that these adult children have in regard to their AS parents might be largely because of social and economic factors imposed by NT culture, rather than problems intrinsic to the AS parent. The way those issues are framed here makes us out to be inadequate and unable to parent.
http://www. aspar .klattu.com.au/
Maybe she should *&*&^& get over it.
Reading through parts of her story. She actually blames her mother for her father's death.
She has a section for donating money. The section on disability rights is under construction.
There are organizations like Al-anon and Ala-teen that are support groups for child or spouses of alcoholics and even they are not as mean as her. They actually help people.
Yes, this is a truly offensive site.
She has a degree in sociology so that makes it all seem official, but I don't think it qualifies her to make a clinical assessment of people with AS.
And as Oprah says, it takes a village to raise a child. She doesn't mention any extended family or other factors but dumps all the blame on her mother.
So I guess aspies aren't fit to be parents and the authorities should take our kids away.
The NT parent:
...burdens the child with exspectations.
...encourages the child to meet exspectations.
...discourages the child from questioning the norm.
...critises the child for perceived falts.
...ignored the childs interests.
...treats the child as inferior.
...punishes rather then communicates with the child.
...blaims the child for ones own problems.
Hi darkcode, I love your tagline.
Anyway, this is fun:
Our NT parents:
Believed they knew our thoughts before we had spoken and therefore invaded our minds
Forced us to "act as if" they could read our thoughts through subtle psychologically manipulative techniques such as "mirroring"
Held us captive to their depthless and superficial conversational style
Taught us to act as if their "hugs" and "touching" of our bodies could resolve the frequent abusive illogic of their behavior
Taught us to be oblivious to and go into denial when we witnessed bullying, cruelty, or exploitation of others
Earned lots of money just to fritter it away (see "bullying in the workplace" syndrome)
Maybe she should *&*&^& get over it.
Reading through parts of her story. She actually blames her mother for her father's death.
Don't judge. you don't know her or her life. that's all i can say.
We aren't judging her or her life, we're discussing the discriminatory way that she presents this list of behaviors as universal to all aspie parents. The fact that she would blame her mother for her father's death is a sign of her dysfunction. If her site were about gay parents the discrimination would be clearly apparent to most people, but because she picks on aspies who lack minority status the hate is not as clearly apparent to some.
Well I'm glad you agree. The other thing is that her list of behaviors are ethnocentric. A lot of these behaviors are perfectly acceptable in other cultures. For example, not every culture or class places the same value on body space between people standing in a room, or conversational style or any of the other behaviors. So there are other ways that her complaints are discriminatory. I think that her work lacks the rigorous standard of academic research and is harmful to both aspies and their children.
I think kids with AS would be better off if one of their parents also had AS. On the other hand NT kids would probably not be better of with AS parents. Maybe we should be segregated and live only amongst ourselves since we cause so much problems for NTs.
My aim is not to prevent Aspies from having children, but to get them appropriate services so they can make informed decisions about having children, and if they do have children get whatever assistance they need.
And who would these experts to dispense guidance be? Someone like herself?
For instance I'm one of those hyperintuitive aspie women, and I am a great mother, emotionally, but I am very disorganised and clumsy in the real world, and I wish I wasnt hounded by CentreLink all the time to get paid work, at which I'm hopeless.
If she is truly "hopeless" at paid work then she must fit the criteria for having a disability. She states somewhere on her site that she's been in years of therapy, yet it would seem she has received no diagnosis to document her "hopeless" inability to perform well in the workplace because she is "hounded" by this CentreLink to get paid work. That indicates to me that she is not quite the advocate or expert on disability that she claims to be.
Lili, all I can say is thank you, that is a great letter.
i have seen that site before its almost as bad as THE site FAAs.
http://www.faaas .org/
If these people are so unhappy with their AS partners, why don't they leave or why don't they realise that the partners probably aren't going to change? Maybe if they didn't nag so much and be so negative, the AS partners might change a few things if they could see a benefit to doing so.
I wonder if those adult children, ever took the time to consider that their parents didn't have to have them. At least they owe their parents for bringing them into this world. Frankly, and this probaly will come off as blunt, they're proving more for a case of why their parents should've aborted them.
I think if the parents are willing to admit they have autism and are able to access some services to help when they have difficulties, it wouldn't be so bad.
Where you have real trouble is when a parent has taken to drink to try and cope with the difficulties caused by autism, have not been able to find secure employment and who don't admit they might have autism.
We aren't always know for being really tolerant and it's worse if one or both parents are in denial about the condition.