Aspies For Freedom

First off, I don't claim to speak for other Aspies. I can relate to your problem of how to depict an Autistic person's inner state.

I am an aspiring writer and I am diagnosed as high functioning autistic. I have struggled with the same problem of how to represent my inner state. A lot of people have said that my writing is publishable but then they often make the comment that I don't provide enough information about what is going on in the mind of the narrator as he or she interacts with other characters.  

I don't mean to sound egotistical by going on about my inner state in a long post, but I have had to think about what is the difference between my inner state and those of NTs and how to depict it in writing. I have come to think that I have been trying to tell stories from the perspective of an NT because that is the narrative model I have been taught.

It is difficult for me to narrate like an NT because as an Aspie I do not seem to centralize the mode of perception that would cause me to make my thoughts, judgements, impressions based on direct social interaction the central fous of my inner narrative.  I am drawn to what is happening in the moment, and must force myself to focus on the social interaction as it relates to dialogue or goal oriented activities because the verbal interactions and larger goal does not seem as compelling or important as my moment by moment sensory impressions. I tend to go through life like that. If I meet someone on the street I am entranced by my sensory impressions of the person I am speaking to and find it difficult to pay attention to the verbal flow of their conversation. I was at a social function once during the past ten years and had a hard time fitting in, although I was supported by close friends who were there - I caught myself at one point staring at the light patterns on the wall and realized with some embarrassment that I had been doing that too long than would be considered normal. But then my Aspergian pride kicked in, and I refused to feel embarrassed about it though I was surrounded by NTs. While I was staring at the light patterns I was processing information about the technical requirements to set up the lighting in the room and thinking about what it meant in terms of cost and production to the organization that was giving the event and what that meant to the social values of the organization  and how all of that impacted those people in the room. In short, I was focused on the meaning of the lighting system but processing all the information through an other than verbal way to myself. It would take some time for me to translate my compelling impressions into verbal language.

In that moment, although my mental process was not anything I could have communicated in words to anyone who might have asked me why I was staring at the wall my behavior was not that of a blank state. It had meaning, but I was processing information about the meaning imposed or produced through environmental stimuli through other than verbal means.  Meanwhile, all around me the NTs chatted and laughed easily with each other.  I then turned to my freind who kissed me on the cheek, and I felt warmth toward him and loved. So I was not detached from social life, just focused differently.

I think that if any NTs were watching they would have thought my focus on the lights was odd and unfriendly. No NT would sit there staring at the wall, rather they would be more focused mostly on what people were saying, the different social cues going on, and I believe their social interaction would be way more centralized to them than the way the lights danced on the wall were for myself.

I don't think that my way of processing information is superior to that of NTs. However, I don't think it is inferior either.  The advantages and disadvantages of my Aspie process is a whole other topic. However, I find that NTs are often disadvantaged  because they get things wrong based on the culturally imposed sameness of their perceptions and their inability to consider that other ways of looking or deciphering exist. Afterwards I found out that one of the NTs had privately asked another NT about what was "wrong" with me and that NT had wrongly been informed and had passed on information to others that I am a deaf person.

Could you? You threw out a metaphor comparing the progress of a protagonist to climbing a tree and having rocks thrown at you. One person on the board interpreted this literally. This seems to be quite a difference in perception to me.

A description or label may be a fashion choice, but diagnoses?

Yes, symbols do have real power and authority. Humans both construct meaning and apply symbols or codes to communicate that meaning to each other.  Naming is a powerful act that is often imposed by societal institutions. I believe the autistic civil rights movement aims to reclaim the diagnosis or description of autism so that  society is more inclusive of our issues so that we aren't pathologized and abused based on our difference.

Your argument is not coherent. First you argue that naming gives or takes away power, then you describe it as a fashion choice.

And if that quote is JC talking about Lilies, well at least he was referring to some indigenous plants and not miniature roses shipped from Mexico.

I don't have any more time to spend on this, but I have to say that your understanding of what it is to be autistic is quite limited.  You do seem to be trying to understand, but underneath I detect some anger. Where is that coming from?

Since Vendaia said that she herself is GD, isn't it fair for her to ask whether there are others here?

I disagree that a diagnosis is a fashion choice though. A careless self-diagnosis may be, but an official diagnosis is an external factor which a person may not have chosen.

Ideas don't make stories, writers do. Anyone can come up with an idea, but it takes much more time and effort to make it into a good book.