Aspies For Freedom

I recycle stuff at home and at work - maybe not perfectly, but it's a start anyway.

People at work strangely consider laughing at me entertainment.  I haven't been able to figure out why. When I ask them what's so funny, they only give me an intelligible response sometimes. Usually, they just laugh even harder. Somehow they find it funny when they tell me something that they know will irrate me when they really don't mean it. (I guess they think it is funny that I can't ever tell when they are joking and when they are being serious... I guess)  :roll:  

I've never understood the comment, "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you." How could they be laughing "with me", when I'm not laughing??


Another thing that is irritating is when I am deep in thought and perfectly content... and I don't want any one to bother me... someone thinks I am mad or upset and asks me what is wrong!!!! This happens a lot when I first enter my workplace.  :?

My first reaction here was to laugh, and I was going to type "haha." But, I want you to know, I'm not laughing because I think what you said was funny. I'm laughing because it's almost word for word my own experiences.

I'm also getting used to it. Depending on who it is, I usually just shrug it off and keep talking. If they're really laughing hard, I'll probably end the conversation and walk away.

I also care a lot about the environment.

Actually, I did laugh out of amusment. But I wanted to express that I wasn't laughing "at" anybody or anything. The more I read about Asperger's, and expecially personal experiences mentioned here, the more I relate. It's new to me. Before I never understood why people would laugh when I was serious, and stare at me blanky when I was kidding. I was amused by reading someone else having an experience that I thought of as "mine." It's wasn't hilarious, but seeing someone else say it was kind of funny. I don't know if I can explain it more than that. I don't even completely understand it myself.

I haven't mentioned anything in my profile yet. I guess I didn't think of it. But, that other member's response makes sense. It's more of a core belief than an interest. I'm not obessive about it, but I wish I were. I wish more people were.

Exactly!  :idea: The irony of so many people having the same experiences as me when before no one ever did! :idea:   :lol:  

It's almost a relief.

I try to be funny all the time and nobody laughs. But whenever I try to be serious I always end up inadvertantly saying something hilarious.

Once at college I said something to the class that accidentally was (apparantly) a sexual innuendo, The lesson had to be abandoned because what I said was so funny that the teacher couldn't stop laughing.
I still haven't got it. I was trying to tell them not to stick thier hand in bushes because whenever I do it I always get attacked by bugs.

Sounds emminently sensible to me.
Alison

Hiya Sjöjungfru.

What the life coach lady was doing when she tittered when you said about your problems with time management was expressing sympathy, but in that complex, round-about, subtle, manipulative way that NTs (such as myself) communicate.   She was laughing to show that:

1.  She has experienced the problem of time management herself
2.  She knows that she really should deal with her time management issues
3.  Like most people she has difficulty dealing with time management issues
4.  She feels just a little bit embarrassed at having time management issues
5.  When you said you need to manage your time better, it reminded her of her problem

She was therefore laughing because:

1.  She recognised the problem of time management
2.  She is just a little bit embarrassed about having the problem
3.  She is relieved that you have felt "safe" enough with her to "confess" that you also have a problem with time managment

By mentioning time management you have uncovered one of her "deficiencies" which is why she is embarrassed - but because you have said that you also have problems with time management, she feels okay about you uncovering her "deficiency".  So in that case, you have established a connection with her and she feels safe enough to laugh along with you about time management.  Except that you were not laughing, but she was probably so self absorbed at that point that she did not notice.

I know that it does not make sense - it's an NT thing.  :roll:  When analysed like that it does not make sense to me either.  It is a complex interaction.  I'm so sorry that you got caught up in that situation, but I really do believe that she did not mean to be nasty.  As an NT I feel I should apologise on her behalf for not making this clear to you.  It’s just one of those things that us NTs do without even thinking about it.  :oops:

And the NTs say WE'RE difficult to understand...
Alison :shock:

Aspies may be difficult to understand sometimes - but NTs are nearly impossible to understand most of the time.  The worst thing is that I don't think us NTs are aware of why we find things funny, we just "do" and when asked to explain why we are laughing, we can't put it into words right away.   :roll:

Why not?  Why is it right for those people to demand we accomodate everything they do us but not right for us to demand they extend us the same courtesy?  Why do we have to accept permanent inferior status?  Why is it wrong of us to stand up and demand the same consideration that we are expected to extend?  Why is it wrong for us to demand that our idiosyncrasies be met just as much as they demand we meet their idiosyncrasies?  Why do they deserve special treatment from us but we don't deserve special treatment from them?

Explain how this injustice is justice.

Bob, just wait until they start laughing hysterically (hopefully they will and there won't be a long silent awkward pause), and then turn and have a muffled laugh if you have to. 8)

That is different from what those not on the Spectrum have usually meant when they say "not everything has to be explained" or "not everything has to be reasonable".  That sort of thing is usually said to me in some sort of argument, when I am desperately trying to figure out why whatever I did that was so horribly evil actually IS so horrible evil, and when I'm trying to get a straight answer out of someone as to why some particular aspect of behavior or communication "has to be that way".

I get it down to a question of "Okay, I'm completely wrong, so how and why am I completely wrong?"  And then I get stonewalled with "Not everything has to be reasonable." or "Not everything has to be explained."  Thus, it boils down to "You're bad, I'm good, the rest of the world agrees with me, there's no need to explain it, you have to accomodate us, we don't have to budge for you."  In my 35 or so years of memory, that's what "Not everything has to be explained." usually means when It's used on me.

You seem to be remarkably open and free from such prejudices.

"Awkward."
Regards from The Masked Hyperlexic.  :grin:

Or how about when you're telling someone that you were ripped off and they just say "well, nobody's perfect". Well duh! That isn't the point. The point is that the other person has transgressed the standards of reasonable behaviour.