Aspies For Freedom

Oh boy, now I really feel lost! I hate makeup (not recognizing my reflection in the mirror after the Mary Kay ladies get ahold of me is alarming! It's bad enough not always recognizing other people- I do want to recognize myself!!)

But my boyfriend asked me yesterday what I want for my birthday, and my list of possibilities included:

an 8 pound splitting maul
a D-handled digging fork
wheelbarrow

and to be honest, a nice framing hammer would be OK too!  :lol:

This is aspies for freedom. Freedom from having to become like nts, freedom to become like nts. Freedom is a choice. So ok, you, I, and most aspies aren't interested in makeup. But for those who lack the knack but not the interest, it's good that somebody should be able to help.

Definitely agree.

Amy, I meant that AFF could announce an essay contest with a theme such as neurodiversity or autistic pride, judge the results, give a prize to the winner, and post the essays on the AFF site.

I was using an alternate definition of the word "sponsor" to mean "be responsible for."  The word is also used in the US to mean a person who contributes, though, as you defined it.

I don't find it personally offensive or outrageous, but what I do find it is absurd, laughable, and sort of....uh...well, it has an element of commerical prostitution, in the sense of using one's name or identity to unrelated items.

As for this:

I actually do know a HFA woman who loves makeup and has a very large collection. Her favorite color is red, and she seems to relish wearing a lot of it, including red lipstick. She did have a therapy program which includied looking after her appearance and makeup....but I have a feeling that she truly does enjoy makeup. Whatever makes her happy!  :grin:

One of my "special intersts" used to be makeup.   I do not really wear it now.  I think it is very silly for some women not to be able to go out of their home without their makeup on.  I grew my hair long just to not have to spend time washing, drying and styling it.  

I find it very odd that some female employer judge female job applicants by their fashion clothing style, hair styles and makeup usage.  Have any men felt judged by their clothing style, hair style?    

"Liane has shared with me how difficult it is for women with Asperger's to buy and use skin care and make-up. I would like to help you."   Is this because advertising is a big lie and tells people that "you will become beautiful and popular if you use this product."   We are not stupid or clueless.   Some aspie women are just not interested in fashion or makeup because they do not think it is important.  Basic hygeine is important.  Being somewhat neat in appearance seems to be important in the nt world.  So aspie women should just try to acheive that.  

I would rather be appreciated for being kind or clever than beautiful.  I used to think that beauty was really important when I was younger.

From what I've seen in the Aspie women I've seen pictures of on the web, a lot of young Aspie women and girls wear and like to wear makeup, just like any women and girls their age.

Hello, Liane!
I suppose that to many Aspie girls and women makeup may feel sticky and uncomfortable and they prefer not to wear it at all.

I depise makeup! UCK! Sticky, masklike! And besides...it's made to hide who you are, why do that?

I thought the purpose of make up was to make women more sexually attractive.  Should that have a place in the workplace.

I have been to a job interview were I was criticized for not wearing make up and not "plucking my eyebrows enough".   Some have remarked at the length of my hair and lack of "hair style".   This was for technical laboratory jobs where hair is required to be tied up and a paper sanitary shower cap thing is worn at all times.  So what does my hair length has to do with anything if it is put up under a hat?

I usually wear a suit to an interview or appropriate dress/skirt combination.  I have had comments like "Are you wearing your mother's suit?",  and "You must be lying about your education/experience because you look too young".   So what is the purpose of a in-person interview?  It is just to judge personal appearance, grooming and body language.  Most of these are not important to the positions I am applying to.  So if a person is too scarred, too fat, too ugly, too physically deformed, too socially inept:  they will not be hired despite their qualifications.  Any questions about the job can be asked over the phone.  Many people have gone to great trouble to go to five minute interviews.  

I only ever was hired by a phone interview once.  The pay was excellent.  It was because it was the first application they had received by fax and they needed someone right away.  I did an excellent job until the man working there assaulted me.  An in-person interview would not have shown me that the place I was working in was dirty, extremely noisy, cramped.  I found that out on the first day but I still kept working.  

I think I should get some job interview skills coaching:  how to lie effectively.   There are a whole lot of other Machiavellian skills that I need to learn:  gaining people's trust,  manipulation of the weak/innocent,  making and breaking alliances,  strategies to destroy my enemies.   The makeup for the job interview is just "icing on the cake".    - Or should I say "icing on the face?".

I have considered the tape recorder.  The worker at the government unemployment office thought it was a ridiculous idea.  

I found out that rude comments about personal appearance and other remarks about experience, non-linear careers paths etc are common.  Usually it is from people who are not professional.  Most people want to hire their friends or family.  They just interview people so they can tell their boss they interviewed x number of people.  

People giving interviews sometimes do not know that insulting the candidate is bad public relations and bad customer service.  Some time in the future, the person being interviewed could be dealing with their company or they could be a client.  They could even be their next new boss.

When I do not get a job, sometimes I phone the interviewer and ask why.  Some will tell me honestly: I made a mistake, not qualified, need someone with more experience,  etc.  I can learn from that.  Some answers have been really stupid, like people telling me that I do not speak English well enough (English is my first language) or I do not have a morgage.  The most common answer is "someone more qualified for the position was chosen".  Often it is a lie.  My brother got that one and found out that they hired someone who just graduated while he had specific experience and excellent references for the job and graduated from the same place.  I questioned the "more qualified one" on a job that I was clearly overqualified in both education and experience.  They told me that they knew the person already and they worked there part-time and this was a full-time position.  ?So why have an open job competition when they had already selected a candidate?    

Another lie that happens is for references.  If a former employer gives a reference that "their work was satisfactory"  that is some code for "this person sucks and do not hire them".  Does it seem really stupid that we are first judged by our appearance and then judged by some stranger's opinion of us?  Most people do not know your references but they are often called even before the interview not after you have started a trial work period.  Some places do not even bother to call them.  I wonder if a good reference would be "she always had great make up and eyebrows, fantastic legs.  She really decorated the office with her presence.  Easy to look at"?

I do not pluck my eyebrows, shave body hair or wear high heels and rarely wear makeup. Any employer that couldn't accept this wouldn't be someone I would work for.

Hey, I don't need make-up to make me intelligent and maybe I like being a bit dishevelled as it fits my "arty" personality. Like the thing about the power tools, too - that is funny.  :lol:

Also, I have a problem with make-up being tested on animals and would be interested to know if Mary Kay cosmetics are tested on animals or if any of the individual ingredients are.

Some people tell me I'd feel better about myself if I had a complete makeover but that kind of thing makes little difference to me as it is not one of my priorities in life.

Happiness doesn't always come from material possessions.

Now I am starting to feel sad for the woman who offered to help women with AS with their makeup.  Maybe she felt like she wanted to help people with AS and since makeup is her occupation, she thought that is one way how she could help.  I would just have to say "thank you" but no thanks.  It was a good thought to want to help.  I just do not feel that getting help with makeup would be helpful to me.

All any of us as human beings can do is offer each other help with whatever we do best.  
I also wear so very little makeup.  I used to wear a bit more when I was younger but for the same reasons Liane states, to cover up blemishes/scars.  Make-up (foundation, lipstick, etc.) usually makes me feel like my face is smothering....it's a sensory thing, I guess.  If I wear mascara, by the end of the day I will have rubbed my eyes so much (allergies & stimming) I look more raccoon than human.  :shock:  So needless to say, I wear no eye make-up.

Liane, (for what it's worth) I heard you speak a couple of years ago at a conference in Indianapolis.   I just want you to know that....you inspired me to speak out and educate others about autism....and that's the truth.