Okay, my turn to rant. This won't take long.
Every day, I encounter people that want me to care about something that is important to them. This is okay with me, as far as it goes, since we all would like for someone to care about us and our needs and aspirations.
But what eats at my tolerance is that somehow, these people also expect me to care, as if by my indifference to their concerns I am somehow committing the most vile of atrocities against all humankind.
For instance, a woman asked politely if I would sponsor her child's participation in some school walk-a-thon. When I turned her down (just as politely), she looked startled and demanded to know why - as if turning down such a request was beyond her comprehension, or that she had some right to lay claim on my money. I explained that, beside the fact that it was a district in another county, I believe that such events betray the school administration's inability to manage the money they've been given, and if that school district did not waste the money on extracurricular events, it would not need to have their students' parents go begging for donations. She would come back every few days and say something like, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to help?" and "Show your community spirit!" and "Last chance to express your generosity!" When the event failed to reach its goal, she actually blamed me -- as if I had violated some contract or obligation.
Why won't people take "No" for an answer? Why do they feel some form of entitlement to my time and money (mostly money)? Why do they believe that I am somehow obligated to support their causes without them ever having done anything for my benefit? Why is it that when I do support causes that don't really affect me, the people that recruited my help suddenly forget me when the event is over (at least until the next time they need a hand-out)? Where do they disappear to when I need help? Why should I care about anyone else's interests when they have never shown any concern for mine?
Okay, end of rant. Thank you for your time.
i've never experienced that first hand, but i completely agree. maybe if she'd wasted less time badgering you and asked more other people that may have been actually interested then they'd have done better.
A better answer would have been to say something along the lines of, "well, I'd like to, but I'm broke."
Ahh .. but you've both missed the point I was trying to make, which is "It does not surprise me when people ask me to care, but it never ceases to amaze me when they expect it."
I agree with Fnord. He is entitled to decline to sponsor the child, and the reasonable response would have been to accept that, thank him for his time and go away.
Ahh .. but you've both missed the point I was trying to make, which is "It does not surprise me when people ask me to care, but it never ceases to amaze me when they expect it."
eh, I don't care.
Must of been the toehead mothers....
Okay, my turn to rant. This won't take long.
Every day, I encounter people that want me to care about something that is important to them. This is okay with me, as far as it goes, since we all would like for someone to care about us and our needs and aspirations.
But what eats at my tolerance is that somehow, these people also expect me to care, as if by my indifference to their concerns I am somehow committing the most vile of atrocities against all humankind.
For instance, a woman asked politely if I would sponsor her child's participation in some school walk-a-thon. When I turned her down (just as politely), she looked startled and demanded to know why - as if turning down such a request was beyond her comprehension, or that she had some right to lay claim on my money. I explained that, beside the fact that it was a district in another county, I believe that such events betray the school administration's inability to manage the money they've been given, and if that school district did not waste the money on extracurricular events, it would not need to have their students' parents go begging for donations. She would come back every few days and say something like, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to help?" and "Show your community spirit!" and "Last chance to express your generosity!" When the event failed to reach its goal, she actually blamed me -- as if I had violated some contract or obligation.
Why won't people take "No" for an answer? Why do they feel some form of entitlement to my time and money (mostly money)? Why do they believe that I am somehow obligated to support their causes without them ever having done anything for my benefit? Why is it that when I do support causes that don't really affect me, the people that recruited my help suddenly forget me when the event is over (at least until the next time they need a hand-out)? Where do they disappear to when I need help? Why should I care about anyone else's interests when they have never shown any concern for mine?
Okay, end of rant. Thank you for your time.
Totally understand what you refer to as your rant, still in denial why such feelings should be confined to a website. perhaps I am now completely oblivious to social niceties but I see no problem with bowing out of the norm associated activity of doing what is deemed nice by other people who wouldn't dream of reassigning their do-gooder proclivities to some cause that might actually help people who are in need. Vive the curmudgeons I salute you!
She would have got shortchange from me. Go hassle your own family and friends.
i agree Fnord, WHY should you care about these events when all sponsors are after is your money. It sounds to me that these sponors only care that you give donations, and feel entitled to it (for whatever reason).
Thats crap, and I dont blame you for being annoyed with that.
Me neither. If somebody declined politely to sponsor the child, buy raffle tickets, etc. the other person should have just left it at that and asked somebody else. It seems as if we have to put our hands in our pockets for money at every turn. I don't mind helping others when I can but sometimes it can just be too expensive.
For instance, a woman asked politely if I would sponsor her child's participation in some school walk-a-thon. When I turned her down (just as politely), she looked startled and demanded to know why - as if turning down such a request was beyond her comprehension, or that she had some right to lay claim on my money. I explained that, beside the fact that it was a district in another county, I believe that such events betray the school administration's inability to manage the money they've been given, and if that school district did not waste the money on extracurricular events, it would not need to have their students' parents go begging for donations. She would come back every few days and say something like, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to help?" and "Show your community spirit!" and "Last chance to express your generosity!" When the event failed to reach its goal, she actually blamed me -- as if I had violated some contract or obligation.
What an obnoxious woman. She should be a telemarketer.
It sounds like some things that I get "expected"
to do all my life that have nothing to do with me.
It caused me to malfunction one time,
some guys with a pot aksed me to put
money in it at university and I cood
give them a dollar and they said it was
not enuf so I threw a buynch of pennies
at them and stamped off and I think I
whinged and made other noises wait I
think I said "I CAN'T DO IT ITS TOO HARD!!!"
and then stamped off I think.
Another time someone made me malfunction
they keepted bothering me for some pledge
of time or money and I never sined anything
and they did not listen to me I tride to tell
them I had chores and goals and a programme
to follow (dads' programme( and I exploded
again and stamped away and trhew their stupid
little paper un the air and ripped it into confetti
and threw it in the air.
I hate those peple that expect too mycgh of me
like those who keep asking me why Im not married
IU tell them "Because I'm a widower" and they
go all duh on me because they don't want to listen
again they just exep[ect me to "get married", duh,
what did I just TELL them??