As some of you may be aware, my family are extremely critical of my life, my work with AFF and my relationship with Amy. Since moving in with Amy we have both suffered from a lot of harrassment and libel by them. So far, they have made a false police report, posted our address to a missing persons forum, withheld my exam certificates and sent regular hatemail.
They have made claims that I am unable to count, cannot catch a bus (even though I take the bus into town for college on a regular basis) and portrayed me as helpless because of my "syndrome". They have suggested that even though I am opposed to a cure for autism I should receive one.
The latest piece of hatemail came from my grandmother. In this letter she claims that I can't possibly be happy with my life and makes very nasty personal comments, and criticises our views on AS - claiming that I would never have been able to communicate without speech therapy (which is something we are not opposed to - personally I am extremely grateful that I had speech therapy and would fight for any autistic/aspie who is being denied this therapy).
The police had to caution my father and brother for harrassment but I will have to arrange a restraining order against the rest of my family who have been involved with this persistent harrassment. I ask that anyone who is contacted by my family bear this in mind while communicating with them. I envy those who have decent parents. Don't take them for granted.
Regarding the exam certificates:
They also withheld my passport until they recently attempted to use it to blackmail me into meeting with my mother. I had to report this to the police as theft in order to get it back as my mother refused to simply post it (even after a solicitors letter requesting it). The exam certificates they claim they cannot find. I have also found out that they attempted to blackmail me with the passport only after it had expired for about a week.
I would rather not tell every detail of this to my tutors at college simply because I would rather maintain a more professional working relationship with them and only tell details of my personal life on a need to know basis.
I have already attempted to cut off contact with my family but they keep figuring out ways to mess around with my life. Until recently they did not have our address - they managed to find it out and unfortunately we are not in a financial position to move house.
Seems like the best I can do is sort out a restraining order as a form of protection.
And what I've learned is, if your mother hates you, the entire world hates you. Because everyone thinks it's so unnatural for a mother to hate her child, they think it must be your fault and therefore, they're obligated to treat you like ***.
This is definately something i've noticed with people - my parents are permanently pissed off at me (though they claim otherwise - actions speak louder than words). This makes others take their side instantly. My (former) best friend refuses to speak to me now because of the way my family now view me. I still have contact with a few people online but most of the people I knew have taken my parent's side. The strange thing is, as soon as I tell someone how my parents have acted they seem to start sticking up for me.
Greetings,
Theres not much I can say that I havent said already. I really hope that you see some kind of justice.
Lili has given the best advice for dealing with harassment of any kind, document, document and document, everything that happens. No matter how trivial or innoccous, you may think it is. It all adds up to undeniable proof!!! As for telling your side of the story, also a big YES, especially with someone you have a good rapport with. People who see you and interact with you are good references.
I broke off relations with my family, 9 years ago. And my mother still calls me once or twice a year to tell me I'm going to burn in hell, for being such a lousy son. And I know she's got the sympathy's of her church and the few friends she has left. Fortunately, she doesn't know about my asperger's or my daughter's. If she did she would be calling 24/7/365, to tell me it wasn't her fault (She is NT, by the way) and to come home to her because I clearly can't live on my own.
Anyway, stay strong Gareth and keep being yourself, your life with Amy is now your focus. It says it clearly in the bible (I'm not religious by the way), that when you marry someone, that person (and the life you build) becomes the priority.
Peace
I have been documenting everything they do and have piles of logs of what they have done online and copies of letters sent through the post.
You are right in that my life with Amy and the kids is my focus now (though i don't need a book written a few thousand years ago to tell me that
).
M - I am of legal age and get no support (financial or otherwise) from my parents. I am also already legally married and living independently.
Regarding financial support for education: College education in the UK is free anyway.
You can apply to have duplicates of the school records and you were correct in reporting your passport stolen when it was not returned as you asked.
Unfortunately it would be very expensive to apply for copies of the exam certificates - and it is perfectly reasonable that they just post them to me. The only reason I can think of for them to not do this is out of spite. They have no value to anyone but me.
I've been getting more sunshine and a better diet than at any other point during my life - i'm actually of a healthy weight for my height now instead of being underweight. My skin is still slightly pale but that's getting better
A restraining order sounds like it would be easier to get.
Unfortunately it seems that most employers do require certificates - there have been cases of people having a job for 2 years and then being fired because they were unable to produce exam certificates.
I doubt that a letter would do much good either - far too easy to fake.
The main problem is the fee - it costs £30 per certificate. My passport isn't valid anymore btw, they timed it right for their little visit - about 2 weeks after it expired.
After about 12 months of crap, I seriously doubt my family are going to start having regrets now - my grandmother sent another letter which arrived this morning regarding this thread. "How dare you class our letters as hatemail" etc etc - saying they've done nothing wrong and I keep making false accusations.
Strange how the police seemed to take it seriously, as did our solicitor.
My family seem to have no problems discussing this in public. I have been quiet for about 12 months on this issue but just had enough. The reason I posted this was to get support from people and to offer a warning to people who they might contact(my family have been known to contact people we know and cause trouble).
This is nothing compared to what they have done - I have not posted any personal details such as address or phone number - unlike my mother who has posted half of our address. My father posted some extremely personal details too which I will not mention in public.
Fortunately, I have now received a letter stating the hatemail will stop (perhaps due to this thread). Thankyou to all those who gave support.
Woohoo, not having the exam certificates hasn't prevented me from applying for uni. I start the course in a few weeks.
Take that!