Aspies For Freedom

With family like that who needs enemies?

Gareth, do your lecturers at college know about this stuff? They must know that the stuff that your folks are saying is nonsense, so might they possibly be useful as allies? It sounds like your family are trying to interfere with your education (withholding exam certificates).

I agree with Lili Marlene that the lecturers might be Potential allies.

Also am very sorry that you are going through this garath. You have my sympathy.

I hope your parents will become more accepting as time goes on, Gareth.  When I was first married, my mother was very critical about my choice and imagined all sorts of tragic outcomes, but she later changed her views when she saw that I was not going to end up abandoned and homeless, etc.

I've read about another case of a family member of an autistic person breaking the law in order to exercise control over the life of their adult autist descendant. When I keep readng about this stuff it makes me think the parents of autistic people aren't "normal" themselves by any definition of the word, but because they don't see that they might have issues or eccentricities themselves, they don't stop to think about the way they behave themselves, and hence don't benefit from the thoughtful reflection on life that many aspies are forced to do by circumstance.

Gareth, if your folks keep behaving like a bunch of froot-loops, my advice would be to document their behaviour as much as possible, as you might find it useful to use this info at some later date to discredit their credibility. NTs do this kind of thing to us all the time, so why not use the same trick on them if you have to? I hope you are able to find some sensible, trustworthy people to have in your life if your family are a dead loss.

I'm not against physical punishment of kids from their parents, but I draw the line at hitting a kid with anything but your hand. If you whack your child with a stick or belt you can end up being charged with something in Australia.

Gareth wrote

If you don't tell people your side of the story, then they only have your parent's version to go by.

Gareth,

I have the feeling that you are not of legal age in your country.

If you are of legal age, then your parents can not tell you where to live or what to do with your life.  You should be able to have your passport and school records in your possession if you are of legal age.  You can apply to have duplicates of the school records and you were correct in reporting your passport stolen when it was not returned as you asked.  However, you should not expect your parents to pay your rent or education tuition.  This might be a problem if you are getting some financial assistance for your education as the government might expect your parents to pay some support according to their income.  Check with a college counsellor, they are obliged to act in your own best interest.  Ask for confidential counselling at your college.  This is nothing that the college has not experienced before.  Your parents may not even have the right to ask to see your class schedule, attendance records or grades once you are of legal age.  

I am wondering what advantage they might have in trying to control you:  are they going to benefit from controlling your monetary assets?  

I am thinking they might not like Amy because of the age difference or they just do not like her.  ?????  You can wed anyone the law permits once you are of legal age without your parents' permission.  

There is really no point trying to convince people to take sides.  Just stop talking about it to everyone.  You do not know which side they are on. Even if you do explain what is really happening, they are probably telling other people what you say and all that is going back to your family.  Eventually, your family will stop doing all this nonsense and want you to come around for dinner on some holiday in the future.  Keep contact with your family to a minimum - just use whatever reasonable legal rights you have.  If your parents really seem to need to know how you are doing, you could write them a letter every month.  Then tell them that is all you are going to do.  

I hope your situation improves in time.

I know you don't need it, neither do I, it's just another quote source for me!!  I lift and choose from many sources!!!   :wink:

Peace

Then it does really sound like your family is very very bad.  If you are of legal age and married then you can do whatever you want.  It just seems that our families should be the people that we can depend on when we are in a crisis.  But your family is proving that they are not dependable for you.   Having to deal with a family like that is very bad for someone who is 16 or 17 yrs old because they are not of legal age in most countries.  

I do not understand that getting copies of exam grades is so expensive in your country.  Here it is just fill in this form and sometimes pay about $15 or $30 dollars.  Not free but cheaper than getting a lawyer to write a letter.  

It is not so easy to tell people about your family treating you so badly because some people will not believe it and think you are bad or quite mad.  

I had someone report me missing from work.  I was sick and called in to say my doctor told me to stay home until the next week.  I could not see the point of phoning in everyday to tell them I was sick.  After a few days the police came to my parents' house and asked for me.  I had to get up out of bed and come to the door.  The police said they had to check.  The person who had reported me missing just meant well and did not know I lived with my family.  Some else at work (enemy) had been telling people that I just took off and went on vacation somewhere and that I was not really sick.  

This same enemy was rumoured to have put some "substance" into my tea and sugar jar at work.  We also found that he had been hiding a tape recorder in our lab and taping our conversations.  He had also hidden a tape recorder in my lab and had it making weird noises.  I would complain about the noise and he would pretend not to hear it.  Of course, he would do it only when no one else was around.  Do you think that I could tell anyone else about this nonsense without sounding mad or paranoid?  One day we found the tape recorder locked into a drawer and showed our supervisor.  Eventually this "enemy" got everyone including the supervisor to quit or be fired.  So in my life, I have known a true psychopath.

After reading all of this stuff about bad relationships with family and co-workers I feel quite fortunate in comparison.

Gareth, I could understand that your folks might become a bit concerned about you if they see that picture of you. People of the caucasian race are supposed to be a buff pink colour, not pale mauve. Are you getting enough sunlight and iron in your diet?

Wow! I thought my family stuff was hard.  I wonder if i can request other members stories about the difficulties with family? I realise this is personal so please do not feel obliged. At the moment i am having some frustration and try to remember that this time will pass and if i hang on and be honest then things will improve.
If others found some ways to resolve issues with family or how long it took to establish independance, it would be nice to read. I know the only way for me to be able to live as me, is to communicate clearly to people other than family so i can get what i need and this has been the main problem for me.
thanks, becca

I think communicating is a thing that you get better at doing with practice. Even if someone has literacy that doesn't necessarily mean they are good at communicating, there's a lot to it.

Reading this post makes me feel very sad.

Gareth if you wanted to take legal action could your ask the local authorities to issue an ASBO - From what I've read of these it should not be hard for your local authority to issue one in your circumstances.

You should not discuss family problems in public.  They clearly read this forum and criticising them in public will only inflame the situation.

:bubble:  :groupjump:   Nice to know there is a little justice in the world, Congratulations!!!

Peace