Hi everybody,
I have just found you, yippeee. :grin:
We have a 13 year old son with Aspergers, and yes he says himself he is from another planet.
He is on the milder end, but that doesn't mean he finds our world easy. In fact I often wonder whether we, who do not have an autistic spectrum condition, are the ones who are different.
His world is logical, straight forward, and easy for him to understand, although, we sometimes feel like pulling our hair out.
Like the other day, mum asked him to take his trousers out of the washing machine, and put them into the dryer, which he did.
What she didn't say was "turn the dryer on"
We still forget sometimes, that we have to take the conversations and requests that one stage further so he will understand better what we are talking about.
The biggest problem we have had concerning him was schooling. He is in 'normal' mainstream school, and he has suffered terribly from bullying because he is 'different to the norm.
We had a task getting the education authorities to accept that he has Asperger's, although a new school, with a wonderful special needs team has solved those problems.
Life with him is never boring, never dull, and our lives have been enriched because of him. We may feel like pulling our hair out sometimes, but that is all part of parenting.
I have waffled on, and on, sorry.
Hi bazranz, welcome to AFF. We do have some children of your sons age who post here, if he wanted to.
"We had a task getting the education authorities to accept that he has Asperger's, although a new school, with a wonderful special needs team has solved those problems."
I suppose you could help many people if you could tell more about how you did this. How did you get the education authorities to accept? How did you get your son to a special school? How do the special needs team help solve problems and what are the problems?
You sound like wonderful parents.
Hi M,
I think I perhaps misled you with my posting, :oops: . Our son is still in mainstream education.
I shall go into a little more detail, and explain a bit better.
While M was at primary school, he started developing tics, and was diagnosed as having Tourettes, but he also had problems with co-ordination, writing, taking part in class activities, forming friendships, being able to express himself properly.
The head teacher at this school had a special needs child herself, and was very supportive, and began all the processes necessary to get the extra help. M was moving up to secondary, but the head had a multi-agency meeting, including the SENCO from his new school. We were assured his extra help would continue.
This was not the case, even when he got the Aspies diagnosis. So he was getting no extra help, and even worse, he was being bullied remorselessly, but when we complained about the bullying, we were told, that it was because M was different. I think we knew that, but when we said we wanted some extra help, and protection for him, we got no where.
At this point I decided to become a governor at the school, in the hopes I could change things from the inside. I was wrong. The governing body were merely a rubber stamp for the chair and head. Incidentally, this school is now in special measures, and all the governing body has been 'sacked'.
We contacted the LEA, who I am afraid, were of no use either.
So the bullying continued, M had to struggle in school, and was getting more and more unhappy, and the much promised statement was never forthcoming, in fact I discovered it had never been applied for.
In the end we decided to take the drastic step of moving. It was no good just moving school, the town was too small, and M would have been known wherever he went, and the bullying would have continued.
We decided to up sticks, and move to an entirely different location.
We knew which town to go to, but not which school. We researched the mainstream schools, using the internet, inspection reports, and newspaper reports. and discovered, which we thought was the best one. Fortunate;y we were right. The SENCO has a special interest in Aspies, and the back up is amazing.
We were proved corect. The firat thing we were told was, after confirming M's diagnosis, Ask for the assessment of special needs yourself, it is much quicker that way
Because M is, like most Aspies, above average intelligence, and has ambition, he received a statement almost immediately.
After all that, I suppose for most people actually moving house is extreme, but with research, it can be beneficial
I suppose the main thing we learned was to ask for the assessment ourselves, so I believe that is my best piece of advice.
His world is logical, straight forward, and easy for him to understand, although, we sometimes feel like pulling our hair out.
Like the other day, mum asked him to take his trousers out of the washing machine, and put them into the dryer, which he did.
What she didn't say was "turn the dryer on"
We still forget sometimes, that we have to take the conversations and requests that one stage further so he will understand better what we are talking about.
Hehehe Sounds exactly like my 11yo son. :lol: Drives my husband batty.
Myself and my son are aspie. I learned long ago how to "be NT" and adapt to other people's expectations... my son doesn't have my years of experience yet. :wink:
A word of clarification to my post above - that doesn't mean I prefer to "be NT" - just that when I "make" myself, I can do it. Fortunately, I can just be good ol' aspie me at home. :grin:
Wonder, if any NT could pretend to be Aspie?
Sibylle
"Wonder, if any NT could pretend to be Aspie?"
I suppose that NT actors have acted as aspies and auties, does that count? Did they do a convincing job?
I havent really seen many films depicting such, Mozart and the Whale will be one.
I meant: pretending in real life.
Oh I see. No idea. I have heard of cases that people have pretended to have conditions for attention, such as Munchausens Syndrome, or for money, like scam artists begging as though they are in a wheelchair, but really they can walk.
I think any actors who have been AS in movies have been at least a little AS themselves and very proud to be. i think AS actors could do NT but maybe the reverse would not be so easy. This is just an opinion not based on any strong evidence. Think of the many roles of Rowan Atkinson or Hugh laurie. I cannot think of any women but i am sure there are some.
becca