Something I've noticed about some Aspies (including myself at times - but not so much anymore that I've seen others do this) is that due to their high level of knowledge in one area, they can use this to dominate others.
Someone might 'hit people over the head' with reams of facts that no one could be reasonably expected to understand or respond to, and in the end the recipient winds up feeling stupid and inferior.
Sometimes I knew what I was doing when I did this, and sometimes I didn't. When trying to get ppl to understand me with no success, I could go into "I know more than you mode" and be mean - the best defense being a good offense.
I keep this in better check now - not just to be less of a bully, but also to be a better communicator and be better understood.
thinks of self as superior and above the law / rules / regulations etc (these only apply to other people)
That one certainly doesn't apply to me (and many other people with AS who I know). I obsessively follow the rules and regulations, even when many people without AS may find it tedious or unnecessary to do so. I hate doing things wrong, and go out of my way to avoid upsetting people.
I think that's more often a criticism of people who believe certain rules are de facto invalid. People have asked me many times if I thought the rules didn't apply to me; this results from anything from a failure to modulate my voice to suit others to wearing the wrong clothes at some rediculous social function.
I believe rules concerning formal attire should be abolished entirely, and break them whenever I can get away with it. But because they are so important to NT's, the idea that I might consider them stupid never even occurs to them. From their point of view, a type of being who does not consider rules of formal attire binding and holy simply cannot exist, and therefore anyone who breaks them must feel they are above everyone else. This is false in many, if not most, cases, and can be regarded as an artefact of NT theory-of-mind deficits.
As for bullying, I lack the confidence to do it effectively, otherwise I would do a lot more shouting. I do tend to make mean statements, but they're directed almost entirely towards people I actually like (OMG!! :lol
, and since I'm compulsively nice to everyone, it's understood that I don't really mean it.
Yes I've noticed this about myself as well and that is in essence what a guru type of bully is.
There's a difference between being a bully and being a bull in a china shop.
I manage a project and have just been accussed of bullying a younger member of staff by another. When infact the young member has been employed for two years now and cosistantly behaved badly so all I did was take him asside and say this is your last unrecorded warning the next will be a recorded verbal warning. I have been reasured by other collegues that I have not bullied him and do not have it in me. But as far as I'm now concerned I'm a BULLY!
In elementary school, I did participate in bullying someone, together with the vast majority of the class. For a couple of years, on and off, we would call her names. Never any hateful remarks though, just pointing out that she was quirky in millions of ways. And of course we did not do it 24/7; we did laugh, played and worked with her.
Thinking about makes me feel very ashamed about myself. Even though my obversations made me think that it was an accepted form of behaviour since she was odd, I should've known better than to act like my classmates.
She however, had a very thick skin though, also empowered by a group of girlfriends she could always rely on. Even in later years, went she went to high school (still being bullied) she rarely didn't keep her happy face up.
Almost every kid will have to deal with bullying at some point in life, by personal actions or by being the victim. I unfortunately was one of the former kind of persons (and later the latter), but I'm glad that 'my victim' was strong enough to deal with it.
Yes an apsie can be a bully too. I knew soemone who had AS and he was 5 1/2 years younger than me and he was a bully. He bullied kids in his school and he bullied his mother by hurting and threatening her to get his way. He did it at school too but was unable to figure out it only works at home but no where else. Sadly I had to dump him. I have no use for bullies and leaches. I didn't find it fair he got his way and I didn't.