I agree with Amy. And don't try to discourage stims, because autistic people need them to function. Just sometimes it's appropriate to try to exchange a distracting stim for something less obvious in public.
I also think that speech therapy might be a good idea. Once she expands on her vocabulary and uses it regularly, she will do better on IQ tests. Play with her, read to her a lot, try to have a conversation with her. Build things with her (Lego, Brio train, building sets are great things for autistic people to play with). Teach her to use the computer. She might just love it. The computer is also a great teaching tool for teaching all kinds of things, including language. It's easier to communicate with the computer than with people for most autistics.
Obviously an IQ test is completely meaningless when used on a child who doesn't use a lot of speech, and who can't read and write yet. I believe you when you say that your daughter is not ***, a mother knows. Those 'experts' don't know your child the way you do.
As Amy says, it's not possible to know if your daughter will end up HFA/AS or not. But many autistics will develop to be high functioning, never give up hope, you are the best judge of how smart she is.
What do they do in the ABA sessions?
Why do you hate it?
Why is she having it?
Drill?? The fact that you have to tell them when to stop, and intervene, and they do not recognise when she is getting tired, is worrying to me.
Have you heard of all the controversy and concern over ABA?
Remember that you are in control, and you don't have to use them. There is no proper regulating body for therapists across the country, unlike for speech therapy.
Often parents are not there when the therapy is done, and cannot intervene when a child is tired, and if you had not had the strength to keep arguing with them, I doubt if they would have taken a better approach. They work to get results and the whole basis of ABA is highly suspect. It was originally designed as a type of brainwashing to make homosexual men straight.
You can read some of the threads on this site about the Judge Rotenberg Center to see the use of aversives at its worst.
If you try one new place a week, for example, and make it a positive experience.
What I do, is avoid places that are busy, or confusing, such as a busy supermarket. I go when its as quiet as possible, and I always go to the same one so that I, and my son, can be very familiar with it.
For somewhere like opticians I get appointments when its very quiet, like last appointment on a weekday.
You could try and talk to her about where you will be going, and describe it.
I think its very hard for any kid to go around a lot of places at once, so I try and limit places in one outing, such as 2-3 shops, once a week.
SunnyDaze, can you explain to your husband that if your daughter is forced into situations in which she feels stressed, that it will actually discourage her from doing such things. Forcing a child into a situation that it can't handle is bad for any kid.
He needs to be more realistic and take her needs into account.
You are right to stand up to him about it.
SunnyDaze, I hope you take this as a compliment, when I saw this -
I never ask him to go to social events. Socializing bores me to tears. Yes, he always forces me to go to his silly, goofy events. I just deal with it. Sometimes I will take a magazine or book with me so my brain doesn't explode from the lack of intellectual stimulation or tedious small talk.
It reminds me of aspies :grin:
Sunnydaze, Amy is right. You sound very much like an Aspie yourself. Maybe that is why you are so tuned into what your daughter feels. And that is a very good thing.
You situation has similarities to mine. My youngest daughter has AS traits, obvious dyscalculia (I need to remember to make the call to get her tested, my memory for doing unpleasant things is like a sieve) and ADD (again, not diagnosed, but very obvious). If I wouldn't be there to stand between her and my husband all the time, he would drive her insane (possibly literally).
He also used to force me to go to social events with him, but much of the time I refuse now. I won't go to company parties any more, or baseball games, or many other things. I just tell him I'm not going, because it takes me at least a week to recover afterwards, and I don't enjoy myself while I am there. So, he goes with one of our children, or a friend. I don't go to church every Sunday, either. Some Sundays I just can't handle even the idea of being surrounded by so many people, and of having to be friendly and chatting afterwards. It takes all my strength.
To your daughter: Maybe you can try to find picture books about specific situations, like going to the store, going to the dentist, doctor, whatever. I know there are quite a few out there, I've seen them. Reading those books to her, and explaining that now you'll be going to the place it describes might help.
If she has any comfort items, like a favourite blankey or doll, whatever it may be, let her take it with her.
Does she like music? Maybe you could give her a tape player or CD player with earphones to listen to her favourite music while in a strange place. I don't know if that would help, but I think it would have helped me as a child (and I wished it wouldn't be considered extremely rude and impolite for an adult to do that, otherwise I would, to tune people out :twisted: ).
You know, not all aspies appear to be honest (even though I am). I have a brother who is without doubt an aspie, and he used to lie and steal money from my mother and sometimes from his siblings.
And sure, sometimes I like to go to social events, like a concert or going out with friends, or playing table tennis with my table tennis club. The difference is, that I am INTERESTED in what I am seeing or doing, and I couldn't care less about doing small talk with my husband's collegues or who will win or lose in a stupid pointless game like football or baseball.
I myself don't drink, because I hate the taste of alcohol, and it makes me sick. But many aspies enjoy drinking sometimes.
So, your points don't prove you're not an aspie. Of course, neither do ours prove that you are. Here are some links to some aspie tests, that would show if it is possible if you're an aspie or not:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/news/page...43,00.html
Anyway, these were all developed by Simon Baron-Cohen, the leading Asperger researcher in the UK. Try these and see how you score! It will give you a good indication if you might be aspie or not (and you may well not be).
Okay, I admit it, you are NOT an Aspie. But your scores on the aspie quiz indicate that maybe you have some Aspie traits (or ADD).
Your AQ is way too low, and your EQ too high for Aspies.
These were my results:
AQ 44
EQ 7
SQ 59
Aspie quiz: now 176, earlier 182
I am sure you can see the difference. Mind you, even for an Aspie my scores are very high (or low, as in the EQ test). Your score on the SQ test is rather high for a woman, so you're quite analytic.
Of course you can stick around! We have some other NT parents here, and one NT wife (Garnet is Ozymandias' wife, he is an Aspie, she is not, and they have one Aspie daughter). I just hope that we were able to be of some help with your little girl.
Sounds like she starts to be nice to the dog (even though I am sure you didn't appreciate him eating all those crackers) :roll: .
Somehow I never took it to mean that you're a liar or a crook. You don't sound like one.
You might have to talk with your friend (and other females who come to see you) before she comes over next about your daughter's touching. Ask your friend to say to your daughter, 'no, please don't touch me there, I don't like it!" You might have to do what you do to very young children who do things you don't want them to over and over, and slap her hand (not enough to really hurt, but enough for her not to like it), as you say 'no!' in a fairly stern voice (but again, not loud or fierce enough to frighten her). It might be the only way to get the message across to her that what she does is inappropriate.
I just read an account of one autistic ladies life yesterday (Kanner autism, she is nearly 60 now). She was saying that she didn't understand the meaning of words until she was six. When she learned phonics, and started reading, finally she realized that all those sounds had a specific meaning, and she figured out language.
Maybe your daughter hasn't really assigned meaning to many words yet, and truly doesn't understand what they mean. You might need to try to teach her to read for her to get it, too.
Kev, your AQ and EQ results are consistent with aspie/auties results.
There is supposed to be a distinction that people are diagnosed with aspergers when they dont have a speech delay, if there was a delay then it would be an autism diagnosis.]
But it seems lots of aspies did have a speech delay, including me.
I saw a poll once and about a quarter of diagnosed aspies did have a speech delay.