Hi this is my first post. I have lots of questions, but I'll just ask a few for now.
Is there any way to tell if a child with moderate autism will develop into an adult with HFA/AS?
What should I do to help my child reach her potential - whatever it may be?
My child was diagnosed with mental retardation in addition to her autism but there is NO WAY I believe she is ***. (And that's not just because I am her mom.)
She is almost 6 years old. She has a really great memory and is good with mechanical things. She doesn't have any savant skills. She loves music. Has about 500 single words but uses only a fraction of them. She is really mean to my poor old dog (who just takes it without so much as a whimper).
Thanks for your time!
Do you, or anyone in your family have any form of autism? If so, that could be a general guide as to how a child might develop. In other words, a child can take after their parents. Other than that, I don't know.
No one in my family has ever been "officially" diagnosed with AS. No one I can think of that is "eccentric" (I hope that is not offensive!! Please forgive) or a late talker. My side of the family has genius level IQ's and precocious development but my husband's side is average. I am kinda geeky and hate small talk (boring waste of time) unless it is something I am interested in but I can "play" social butterfly very well. I have no problem reading faces or social cues. I've worked with the public for many years & was a top sales person and I am an excellent con-woman (bad trait I am only semi-proud of), so I don't think I qualify as AS; except for being super smart!
If they diagnosed the mental retardation by using an IQ test, it could certainly be inaccurate. Standard IQ tests do not take into account autistic children's different approach to language and imagination.
As time passes you will get a clearer picture of her abilities, we had a news story in the news and media section about a girl, a few days ago, she was diagnosed with mental retardation and achieved a huge amount.
They did use a standard IQ test (she was 2) and it was ridiculous. They said her IQ was 70. I was in "denial" for 2 years. They told me the only way she could get services was if she had an MR diagnosis - but then it's supposed to be accurate!!?!?! These people really scared the crap out of me and told me if I didn't get therapy for her that I was being neglectful.
She has such a strong will and she knows what she wants. She has her own way of communicating. She just pinched me because her french fries aren't done cooking yet. Little stinker. She's never been a kid who didn't like contact. She loves to kiss & hug and craves my attention. If she wants her brother to go outside with her she will get his shoes and sweetly, coyly smile at him and hand them to him. How can he resist? She certainly has charm.
She does have ABA - she doesn't mind it, but I hate it. I am always arguing with the therapists. They pretty much have to do things my way. I threw them out of my house once so they walk on eggshells with me.
I agree with Amy. And don't try to discourage stims, because autistic people need them to function. Just sometimes it's appropriate to try to exchange a distracting stim for something less obvious in public
Her ABA people & I fight about this all the time. I think they should let her stim too! I even made her ABA therapist stim with her the other day. The therapist couldn't "do it" either. (My daughter was 'lassoing" beads with a turn of her wrist & the therapist couldn't do it!!)
Teach her to use the computer.
She's already loves the computer and other mechanical/electronic things.
But many autistics will develop to be high functioning, never give up hope, you are the best judge of how smart she is.
Thanks you for this (above). I think she is awesome no matter what. :grin:
What do they do in the ABA sessions?
Why do you hate it?
Why is she having it?
At first it was "come sit" and I about freaked every day. My daughter hated it. It was AWFUL. Now she looks forward to her therapist coming because the therapist lets her play with gooey slime, buys her candy, sings her goofy songs and plays tag with her.
The therapist really does love her. I tell the therapist when I think she's overworked a drill and it is getting tiring I make her (therpist) quit. I make them go outside and swing on the swings or something. They know I want it to be fun for my daughter and I don't want them to take away her childhood with drills.
Drill?? The fact that you have to tell them when to stop, and intervene, and they do not recognise when she is getting tired, is worrying to me.
Have you heard of all the controversy and concern over ABA?
The only info I have is pro-ABA.
Can you give me any links about ABA not being beneficial?
I would be very interested in reading about this.
Shocked :shock:
and confused :?
Severe aversives included (and one assumes were not limited to) "slap, pinch, electric shock, noxious odor, noxious liquid, and hair pull."
Holy [bleep]!
No adversives have ever been used in my daughter's therapy. Good God, I would have to kill someone. I get mad when they say "no" too harshly.
Amy, I haven't tried those links yet - but I will tonight when my kids go to sleep.
Thanks! :smile:
Holy [bleep]!
No adversives have ever been used in my daughter's therapy. Good God, I would have to kill someone. I get mad when they say "no" too harshly.
Amy, I haven't tried those links yet - but I will tonight when my kids go to sleep.
Oh my gosh - you guys - I read the stuff in the links Amy gave me and I can assure you that my daughter has never been treated like that.
I would never ever ever never ever allow that! A person would have to be insane to let someone do that stuff to their kid. The agency that provides my daughters ABA wants her to be motivated to do her work, not force her to do it. They go to extreme lengths to make it fun for her and make her want to do her drills. Sometimes the therapist will tell her to take a break and she will say "NO!! Come sit?" And the therapist has to turn the chair upside down so she will take a break.
It's not always like that though, sometimes no matter how motivating the reinforcers are - my daughter might be having an off day or just feel like chillin' out and I end the session.
Anyone who restains a child or abuses them should be executed.
I'm serious about that! :mad:
I have lots of questions, but I'll just ask a few for now.
Ok - here is my next question:
My daughter is very afraid to go to unfamiliar places. The other day I had to pick up my son's glasses at the optician's and I took her inside with me. It was only 2 minutes. She was petrified and screamed and cried. Everyone was looking at me like I was beating her or something (I wasn't, of course).
I don't want to make her stay at home all the time.
So what can I do to get her more comfortable going to different places?
You guys are great for helping me!
Here is a situation that I really need your help with -
My husband loves to go to family picnics, reunions, religious services, etc
As I already mentioned by daughter does not like to do these things. I have no problem taking all the time that is necessary to expose her to different situations (a few minutes at a time) until she is comfortable.
But my husband expects her to stay at loud family gatherings, boring church services, etc. It is hard on me because I have to constantly reassure her everything is ok or chase her or whatever. It is horrible for her because she is uncomfortable in new situations.
I fight with my husband constantly about this. He says that if I do not force her to do these things she never will. He tells me that I "give in" to her tantrums by removing her from the situation. I can tell the difference between a tantrum and a panic attack. She is not having a tantrum - I am certain. I think it is cruel to make her stay in a situation that is quite possibly agonizing for her.
How do you think I can get him to see my point of view? He is not a huge reader and hates the computer. Are there any good videos about autism and social situations?
Try to talk to her in advance. Tell her why you have to go there. Reassure her that she will be safe there. Tell her, that you will leave if she gets too frightened (but only, if it is possible, she must rely on your words). Maybe you can talk about a special sign she can give when she feels it is too much for her (that will take a lot of time! until it works), so you can leave, without her becoming too upset. Maybe you can tell her that you feel uncertain as well, when being in a new place and that that feeling is ok. Even if she does not respond with words (as you said she doesn't speak a lot), she might get what you want to tell her. Sibylle
Sibylle - unfortunately, she would not understand that much explanation. She is not at that stage yet in her language. Her receptive language is about what a "typical" 2 year old would be.
And for the family picnics, maybe you can find a place a bit away from the big trouble? And ask the family not to come too near or only one at a time.
Sibylle
SunnyDaze, can you explain to your husband that if your daughter is forced into situations in which she feels stressed, that it will actually discourage her from doing such things. Forcing a child into a situation that it can't handle is bad for any kid.
Oh, believe me I have been through this with him numerous times. I just refuse to go or take my own car. But it still creates a huge problem in our marriage. But don't worry, I won't give up. I like what Sibylle said about the "forcing her to see scary movies" analogy. I will use that next time. I hadn't thought of that one.
Why should one be social if not wanting/needing it at that age? Does your husband go to every social event you'd like him to go with you?..................... Would he force you to go to see soccer?
I never ask him to go to social events. Socializing bores me to tears. Yes, he always forces me to go to his silly, goofy events. I just deal with it. Sometimes I will take a magazine or book with me so my brain doesn't explode from the lack of intellectual stimulation or tedious small talk.
And a question about the way this board works - am I cluttering it up? Should I be posting each question as a new topic?
Well, I'm no moderator in here, but I've seen a lot of threads where the subject changes from the one that's said in the topic and nobody seems to care.
Sibylle
I was recently diagnosed as having Aspergers and when I was 6, I got a fascination with feeling thighs. It was so embarrassing for mum. She told me "you shouldn't take liberties" with people. I didn't know what that meant but fortunately, I seemed to grow out of that particular obssession.
Can't for the life of me understand now why this happened but at the time, mum nearly died of a tubal pregnancy and dad didn't really know how to look after us. I played up at school by not wanting to join in activities that I thought were silly. Once it was clear that mum was on the mend, I got more co-operative at school but there were still problems because I was so bored with the work.
The teacher promised my parents she would give me harder work to do but this didn't eventuate much. The following year, I started reading newspapers and the year after, Readers Digests.
Sunny, I agree with the advice about warning your friends that your daughter might try and grab them. Saying "no" firmly and restraining her from doing it shouldn't harm her.
This treatment with adversives? I wonder if the "noxious smell" referred to meant that the therapist would fart if the child did something they weren't supposed to.
Sunny Daze, I talked quite early but think that some of my speech was probably a bit strange as I couldn't always get people to understand. From what I can remember and it is a bit hazy, I would put big words that I'd heard from adults into sentences - sometimes in context but sometimes a bit off context.
As for the fetish about touching people, I think I did it mainly out of boredom and insecurity and because I liked feeling things that were cool and smooth. Mum taught me how nice it was to stroke cat's fur and I lost interest in the other one, thank goodness.
With your daughter and her wanting to feel boobs, maybe she is looking for attention somehow so having people give a big reaction is reinforcing the behaviour.