I disagree with a lot of it.
The eyes are the window to the soul. If he's always looking out the window, or watching other girls as they walk by, it's a clear indication where his brain is
With me, the more I like someone the more furtive my eye contact will be (until I feel absolutely secure in their return of the feelings). I will sneak around and watch them when they aren't looking, but making eye contact will be extremely painful. If I consistently act embarrassed and will not look at someone, chances are that I have a serious crush on that party.
While we're at it, your eye pupils dialate (get bigger) when you're excited. So if someone's eyes look really big, it shows they're interested.
Well, 'm obviously not going to be able to see this. Even if I can look them in the eyes, I am going to be in such a state of anxiety with an adrenaline rush that my mind is disconnected.
Anything that involves playing with hair is trying to show this off. Girls wrap their fingers in their hair. Guys run their hands through their hair. It's all a way to say, "look, I'm a good catch".
Unless you're an aspie who stims with their hair.
I dunno. The article didn't do a whole lot for me. [/quote]
I've read quite alot about body language in order to understand others better.
The eye contact is, of course, the hardest part. I manage pretty well. In a conversation, when I'm not looking the other person in the eyes, I'm 100% concentrated and can participate much better, it in fact becomes more reciprocal. When I maintain eye contact, I'm only concentrated to 80% :wink:
I find it useful to know about body language, but it took a long time to learn to use it.
So I think it depends on where on the autistic spectrum an Aspie is (and maybe, whats his trim [?]), if one can adapt to body language or not. But as there are so many exceptions and interpretations for (almost) the same body signals, depending on the situation you're in, it is quite hard to learn.
See, even NTs do not alway read body language right, so how are we supposed to do?
Sibylle
(and I have ever "played" with my hair, curling it around my fingers and touching my face with it; I'm doing it almost all the time - when having long hair and a free hand - and it is certainly no signal of any kind for anybody, for I do this in private or public, I've done it at kindergarten and at school and I usually don't register doing it)
I never knew that body language was so important until I began reading about how we can't read it.
I knew people used body language... but I thought it was limited to smiling, frowning, and gesturing. (all things I never really bothered to pay much attention to.)
I never would have guessed that posture was a form of body language, or that there were more subtle facial expressions than merely smiling or frowning. Even though I now know that such things exist... I couldn't even began to describe any of it.
Unless you're an aspie who stims with their hair.
What is stimming?
Sibylle, I've always done the same thing. But, maybe we are a good catch! I never meant it as any single, but I've noticed guys think that I'm trying to get their attention by playing with my hair.
Unless you're an aspie who stims with their hair.
What is stimming?
Sibylle, I've always done the same thing. But, maybe we are a good catch! I never meant it as any single, but I've noticed guys think that I'm trying to get their attention by playing with my hair.
That was me.
The amount of eye contact I have with another person is directly proportional to the chance of blanking out in the middle of the conversation.
Hi BellCurve, I like your sig.
"Stimming" is autistic jargon for "self-stimulation", which usually manifests itself in the form of repetitive behavior, such as hand flapping, foot tapping, arm waving, rocking in a seat, or repeating words or phrases.
I'm not very good at reading body language, but I've spent a lot of time around neurotypicals and I've picked enough of it up that I can usually guess. When I'm not sure what they're feeling or thinking, I'll usually ask them. Sometimes they lie though, unless I tell them that I can't pick up social cues well. I probably should do that more often, since I have a tendency to keep talking on and on when I'm interested in the conversation, and when I ask if I'm boring or annoying them, they'll say "no", but I'm never sure.
Understanding a little bit about body language can be helpful, but giving it too much meaning is a trap. Sometimes I am with people who think that because I'm not looking straight at them as they talk, I'm not paying attention. But if I do look, then I can't hear. My body language is somewhat altered by my attempts not to get overstimulated.
Something that I do that can often distract me from what is being said in a conversation is gauge how much I am looking them in they eye. Usually 70% of the time I aim to make eye contact, and the other 30% I look into space as if I am thinking about what they are saying. And in my head, I am thinking, okay I've been looking in their eye for so-and-so time, I'd better go into look-at-the-ground mode. Now, what were they saying?
I do the exact same thing, Enigmatic Oddity. It's funny, the amount of thought we have to put into it (and they never have to give it a thought).
I have what I think is a weird ability for an Aspie. I am very good at reading body language. I am also extremely perceptive and am an empath--can read people's emotions and sometimes thoughts. Is that unusual or does anyone else have it?
Thanks alan, as yet there is no prenatal test for autism, but it is being researched and so is looming within the next few years.