Aspies For Freedom

My son is 2 1/2 years old.  Recently diagnosed with HFA.  He show absolutely no interest in potty training.  He loves to learn and do new things when it something that interests him.  Since he could care less about using the potty, he doesn't even try.  

Anyone know how to get him interested?

Also, does anyone know of any good sites specifically for parents of Young children with AS?

When my son was about that age and not interested in potty training, I took him to visit a preschool.  He thought it was great fun.  I told him that preschool was only for kids who knew how to use the toilet.

Of course, some children are afraid of going to preschool and can't be motivated that way, but it worked well for my son, who was pretty hyper at that time and just loved to explore new places.

Any kid can take until 3 to be fully potty trained, so don't lose hope yet. :smile:

My son did manage it by 3 thankfully. We did have another site for parents, and there was topics on potty training, but it was recently destroyed by hackers and the whole forums lost.

Lots of NT kids aren't potty trained until after they turn three! My NT son (with Aspie traits) was trained fully right before his 3rd birthday. Boys tend to be slower than girls in learning, so 3 is a realistic age to shoot for. My twin grandchildren (a boy and a girl) will be three at the end of this month, and neither one is potty trained yet, but the girl is getting close. The boy has no interest yet!

When my AS son was 3, I showed him the potty, told him what it was for, and he was instantly potty trained on the spot.  He has never had one accident.  

His twin sister (NT), seeing what her brother was doing, decided to be the opposite.  She REFUSED to use the potty for a long, long time, and deliberately went in her pants.  Finally I told her I wasn't going to clean her up any more.  If she pooped her pants, she would have to deal with it.  She was on her own.  I got a bucket of soapy water and a little wash cloth and showed her how to wash out her underpants and how to clean herself.

The first time she pooped in her underwear, she expected me to clean her up.  I showed her the bucket, then got busy doing something else.  After she had to clean up her own mess a couple of times, she decided it was easier to just go in the pot.

My friend's son, who is AS, learned how to ride a bicycle at age 4 before he was potty trained.  Imagine a kid in diapers riding a bike.  Luckily he learned just in time for kindergarten.  Whew.

They're all so different!!  Good luck!!

Two and a half is still quite young. With my son I waited till the summer and then left his nappy off - this helped him to learn to use the toilet.

My little girl was late off the mark in this area. I got a little sticker reward book with a tub of Kandoo toilet wipes, she got frog stickers to stick in the book every time she asked for/used the toilet. Started off taking her to the loo at the times she would normally go, until she was able to ask for herself.  Did the trick, she loved getting those stickers.

Bladder training (particularly at night) was trickier till the health visitor told me that I should ditch the pull-ups and let her feel "wet" (the pull-ups just swell up). Combined with the sticker book, it worked surprisingly quickly.

Yeah, I think kids are often kept in nappies too long. If they can feel that they're wet or dirty they might be more likely to want to use the potty or toilet. It's also good (as some previous posters have stated) for them to learn by example from older kids.

Err... Umm... 2 1/2 still seems early to me. I think three is too early for a lot of kids. My two girls were both trained right before three. But my nephews were closer to four (one of them after four). It really depends on what the kids is ready for. My oldest (now five) still needs pull-ups at night... the poor thing sleeps to soundly. I think you could chop off an arm and she still wouldn't wake up.

They're ready when they're ready. I personally think that the candy/sticker/enticements only go so far. When they are ready they are ready, any attempt on your behalf to get them ready before they are ready will just mean more laundry and embarrasment on your behalf.

"kids is" that's way too funny... sorry. I also wanted to point out that neither my kids or my nephews are on the spectrum (at least not diagnosed as such.)

You would be hard pressed to find any child "interested" in potty training. This is a myth perpetrated by grandmothers ("All my children potty trained themselves by their second birthday!" blah blah blah) and such. If you want him to start using the potty, I'd say he is getting to the age where you can teach him how. And that's what you have to do--teach him. It is not something that kids know how to do instinctively. The best way to potty train in my opinion is to decide you're going to do it, and pick a day to start. Tell the child that from now on his pee-pee and poo-poo will go into the potty. Buy one of those little potties that sits on the floor-- Baby Bjorn makes a good one. Then take the child's pants off and let him go around the house with just a shirt. He will have an accident, so be prepared. This is how he will learn. When you see him peeing or pooping on himself or on the floor, pick him up and put him on the potty, even if he's already done. Do not get angry or punish! When it's time for his afternoon nap, put him back in diapers and keep him in diapers for the rest of the day. This is a challenging process, so just concentrate on doing it in the mornings for a while, so that both of you can relax a bit for the rest of each day. Eventually he will start to get the hang of it, and you can put him in undies rather than have him naked from the waist down. You obviously have to be prepared to spend some time at home for at least the first week of this potty training method, but it's worth it. Sometimes when you first put them in undies, they just pee in the undies, thinking they're like a diaper. Do not use Pull-Ups, by the way, except at nap and overnight. Do not expect the child to be dry overnight until well past his third birthday, or maybe after his fourth!

It will take at least a couple of weeks for your child to get the hang of it, and if he's HFA and doesn't have language skills, things could be more difficult. As people have said, 2.5 is a little on the early side, although I'd say it's a reasonable time to start, depending on the child. If you wait too long, the child becomes more defiant and harder to potty train. This is all just my opinion and what worked for me. With my son, it's always easier to tell him what the deal is rather than ask him, or wait for him to make up his own mind. But all kids--on the spectrum or not--may not be like that. The whole "wait for him to show interest" is too touchy-feely for my child. He definitely likes systems and rules, and he likes to know how things are supposed to work and how he can do them correctly.

What does "HFA" mean?  Our son was not ready to learn until he was already well into age 3. When we took off the pull ups he would pee in his pants and did not want to take them off! We had a lot of rug cleaning to do for some weeks before he got the hang of it. Being into control, he does much worse when told to go or asked if he needs to.
He will also hold his bladder for incredibly long periods of time and then go run into the bathroom at the last possible second. He is now six and a half, and still has problems with "streaking" the underwear.
By the way, letting him pick out underwear with his favorite characters or superheros on them is a good incentive when he is ready for it. Also in the US the approved preschools don't allow kids in the pools with "swim diapers" anymore, so if they want to go swimming in the pool they have to be in underwear and trained. That was a big incentive for our son (and us as well), since he really wanted to swim in the pool with the other kids.

I don't think 2 and a half is too young for most kids to start potty training. Kids are kept babies for far too long these days! If you wait for them to show interest, not many will.

They will be quite happy for mum or dad to clean them up for as long as they will put up with it. In a warm climate, it's easier to put kids in little pants or even let them run around in the yard in the nuddy and just hose them down if they have an accident.

I don't see anything wrong in putting kids in pull-ups for naps and overnight and maybe when out but they shouldn't need to be in nappies otherwise after they're three unless there is some sort of physical problem.

I also don't see anything wrong with a bit of bribery.

It's for the kid's own good as well as the parents because most kindies and schools won't take kids who aren't trained by age 3 or older. Other kids are also likely to make rude remarks about "accidents".