If you knew that your child either would be autistic or had a very good chance of it, what would you do differently for it?
My mind goes to clothing- non-harsh, no itchy plastic stiching inside, soft, and the immediate envoronments: bright lights, irritatign noises, etc.
What could be done for such a child from birth, to ensure that they would have a chance to adjust to the world gradually instead of being overwhelmed by it right off that bat?
Hello Chamoisee,
I you am happy you are here! A baby A baby I you am happy for Chamoisee and the new baby who will come too your family. I you am happy!
Hello Tyler! Thank you. :grin: I like this forum.
Amy: This place is nice. I breastfed all my children...I think all babies should be breastfed. My kids tend to be allergic to cows milk or formula anyway (like me). My dad says I was very colicky as a baby and cried for hours on end...I think it must have been the milk/foumal. Even now cows milk gives me a stomachache.
My son who seems aspie was very passive and easy as a baby. He is still that way unless he gets upset. The other thing about him is that even at 6 months old, I could give him a flower (such as a daffodil) to hold and he did not rip it into shred like other babies would, but turned it around carefully and looked at it for a long time...very focused.
I think I am going to make a quilt with brightly colored and embroidered animals all over it. :-)
Hello Amy, Yes, my boyfriend and I are expecting. We are both aspie, so I am thinking that there is a good chance our child will be too? In fact, I'll be a bit surprised if it's neurotypical.
I was just thinking back through my life, and how it was kind of stressful from the start. If there is anything I can do to make this child's life easier/better, I will do it. Breastfeeding will definitely be at the top of the list, I nursed all my kids. :smile: I used the snuglis and back carriers extensively too....it bothers me when people tote them around in those plastic handbaskets at arm's length! The kid has been *inside* for 9 months...it needs to still be physically close.
Bright colors, books, so far this sounds like what I would be doing in any case. But I think I will take extra care with removing clothing tags and ensuring that the *inside* of the clothing is soft. Of course, we will love this child whether it is autistic or NT. :smile:
My sister did not buy baby food in jars. She just mashed up whatever the family was eating (not in list of avoid). Her children are not picky eaters and very healthy.
Allergies can make little children feel terrible: aches, itchy, cough, wheeze. I think some foods also can affect clearness of thinking and moods. I have fuzzy thinking before I have a migraine headache and also increased sensitivity to light, noise and smell. I don't think food or other allergies cause ADHD or autism but could make the child more irritable so there symptoms are worse.
Hmmm. I usually breast feed the child (exclusively, no solids) until the child is 4-6 months old. My family is very allergic...there are still a lot of foods that bother me, so I tend to avoid them and not buy them at all or use them very sparingly.
When I have to wean my children, I put them straight to our own fresh goat's milk, because cow milk is very allergenic. They all did quite well on the goat milk!
I have found that if I avoid a food for a long time because I'm allergic to it, and then try to eat some of it, my reaction is stronger than usual.
My son who seems aspie was very passive and easy as a baby. He is still that way unless he gets upset. The other thing about him is that even at 6 months old, I could give him a flower (such as a daffodil) to hold and he did not rip it into shred like other babies would, but turned it around carefully and looked at it for a long time...very focused.
Seems as if you were describing my AS son (except I never gave him a flower at that age).
He liked to be seated in front of the aquarium and could stay there calm for bout an hour (when he was under a year old).
He loved it when I was reading picture books to him and when he started watching them by himself he was very careful with them. But then he learned to speak very early and I started to read some of Astrid Lindgrens books (the ones for smaller children) to him.
Another thing was, I tried to never disturb him when he was concentrated (even when I did not know he was AS, which was until age of 6). We had a saying: Never disturb a playing child. It just seemed wrong to me. So I tried to find someone else to look for him at his place when I had to go to the supermarket and he was busy.
And I cooked his baby food myself - it's not too difficult if one has a microwave or will cook a couple of days in advance and freeze it.
Sibylle
Yes, that sounds like my Daniel. He is the nicest child, very quiet, passive, peaceful, thinks a lot. I cannot understand why people get so worked up and upset over having an AS child, even if only half of them are like this?!
He was not verbal early on though. He was late talking, and only said mama, dada for a long time, no sentences or othr words, really. And then one day I was carrying him through the greenhouse, where I had a batch of baby goats penned up, and he said: "I like goats I like goats I like goats I like goats" !!!! :o I was shocked, and he is still rather repetitive when he does talk. :wink:
I have never felt unloved by him, or that we are not in tune, that he is uncaring, lost in another world, etc etc....but perhaps it is because we are both aspie.
Some other things I would do if I knew my baby would be autistic.
I would unplug my television set or put it away for a while. All the time spent with the television on is time that I would be ignoring my baby. I do believe quiet time is very good for babies for to play on their own. A quiet environment without a lot of loud noises, televisions and radio talk is good. Some music is good for babies but classical music might be better. Babies don't watch television until they are about three years old. Some two year olds will watch "teletubbies" but otherwise they are not interested nor have the attention span. So if I am sitting around holding a baby on my lap and watching television then I would just be ignoring them.
Yes, breastfeeding is a wonderful idea for AS or NT babies. My children are both NT and I breastfed both for an extended period of time. Don't let people tell you when you should wean baby - it's better to let the baby wean themselves, even if they are still feeding at the toddler stage or older. Breastfeeding babies usually have nicer temperaments.
I'd watch for scratchy labels in clothes (I always have to cut them off anything I wear) and if possible, use cotton singlets and undergarments.
I know I'm not a parent, but I remembered something from my Child Development course about new foods for babies:
Introduce one at a time so you can tell *which* one is causing a reaction if the baby has a reaction.
It's also far better to introduce rice cereal well before any other kind and to be careful about eggs and tomatoes and cow's milk. If you have a tendency to allergy, it's best to hold off introducing the last ones until a baby is at least nine months old, and to breastfeed as long as baby is still interested.
I wish I'd known all this before my son was born. I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. I knew nothing about babies and nothing about autism when I had him, I did so much wrong and have such a lot of guilt. He had terrible allergies/eczema/lactose intolerance and was (and still is) extremely anxious frightened and highly strung, I struggled to cope and had post natal depression.
Reading this thread makes me cry.
I'm sorry - didn't mean to bring up bad memories. Kids don't come with an instruction manual and I'm sure you did the best you could. The postnatal depression wouldn't have helped and some doctors don't even seem to realise how bad it gets.
If it's any consolation, I feel really bad about some things I did (or more often, didn't do) with my daughters. I wish I had found more time to see them do things at school, for instance and was more assertive with my boss, who I was scared of, in asking for leave so I could see them at the swimming carnival or whatever else.
If you knew that your child either would be autistic or had a very good chance of it, what would you do differently for it?
My mind goes to clothing- non-harsh, no itchy plastic stiching inside, soft, and the immediate envoronments: bright lights, irritatign noises, etc.
What could be done for such a child from birth, to ensure that they would have a chance to adjust to the world gradually instead of being overwhelmed by it right off that bat?
The only thing that would be different for me is knowing off the bat that standard parenting advice is not applicable. The rest would be as it should be for any child: pay attention to the child. See what he likes, see what bothers him, and react accordingly.
Sixth law: There usually is some simple medical procedure (at least for a man) to prevent pregnancy, although she may have a mid-life crisis over it later (as opposed to a mid-wife crisis)
Ah, please don't start with this el lame-o joke again. It wasn't funny the first time and it doesn't improve in the retelling. Regretting not having children is far from a joking matter.
Even women who might not have wanted children when they were younger often feel at least some niggling regret once they have gone through the change of life.