Aspies For Freedom

All the best mate

Well, one appointment down.  Probably two to go.  

Once we got there, the appointment went really really well.  The clinic director got right down to our daughter's level, and afterwards, she said "He totally understands me."

We have our second appointment with the psychiatrist coming up in a couple of weeks (no definite date, they have to move some appointments around.)

The current diagnosis (which still needs confirmation ) would be Aspie with an Anxiety Disorder.  He said she is lightly on the spectrum, but that the main issue is the anxiety.  

After the appointment with the psychiatrist, at which time we will discuss whether or not any medication options are a good idea, there will be an appointment with the educational psychologist to come up with a better plan for her IEP next year.

We survived.  We ate a quick dinner, and then went to the movies to let the traffic die down before coming home.  I am really tired.  

Thank you again for all of your support.

Yeah, that bewildered me, too, Korrigan. I hope they give you a more definitive answer eventually. I'm especially concerned about "Aspie with Anxiety Disorder". I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety with no discussion of Aspergers. Now that I realizie I'm an aspie, I have discovered that what they called anxiety is really just my natural neorological reaction to contact with other people, and that I can often keep it down to a manageable level by just acknowledging its presence and knowing when to do the necessary steps to release the pressure.

Admittedly, I've only been practicing this for a few months, but considering I've been doing it successfully during a disintegrating marriage, I would say there is something to accepting "anxiety" as "controllable Aspergers", instead of another disorder in need of a cure.

Not to deny she has anxiety, of course, especially if she is having panic attacks. I don't know much of your daughter's history. I just hope they arrive at a definitive diagnosis so she doesn't end up where I was: fighting a neurological difference as a disorder.

Good luck and I wish you and your family the best.

I think I said up there that he said he thought she was an Aspie.  But she has two more appointments, one with the psychiatrist.  They are the ones that give the diagnosis, not the clinic director.  

What he said is quite true.  The Aspie traits are there, as I see them in my husband and in her.  But her anxiety IS her issue.  She is stressed out ALL THE TIME.  

So she will not be in limbo, or left without a diagnosis, but there is a system to this place, and the appointment yesterday was to go over the 100 or more pages of documents and the information we provided from her school, and for him to ask her some questions and get some clarification.

Thanks for the concern though!

It happened again last night, the vomiting, all night long.  She stressed out because her day camp that she is attending for the summer was going to have a jamboree and she thought it might be loud.  

But instead of talking to us about it, she worried about it all day (she found out about the jamboree at camp yesterday) and then she worried about it all night, and then she vomited all over the place in the middle of the night, over and over, until she could calm herself down.

She also vomited all over the hallway, bathroom, and me.  So I spent about 2 hours from 11:00 to 1:00 cleaning vomit, and the other stuff from the other end too, since that was the other part of the equation.  She had to take a bath and a shower.  So did I as I was in the line of fire with the vomit.  My husband cannot clean any of it as he will vomit too, since he has such sensitivity to smells and such.

I ended up losing it and just crying.  After she stopped vomiting I finally went to bed, she slept in the hallway on the floor by the bathroom, and my husband slept in the living room so he could be close to her.  

I am exhausted today and if I stub my toe I am going to start crying my eyes out.  Poor baby.  I am so glad we are getting her help.  Poor little girl...  

Nope, nothing.  But it is not like it is every day.  We have something for her intestinal migraines, but it is very costly and it is this spray pump thing that really upsets her.  And it will only work if we catch her before she hits the point of vomiting.  Which we have not been able to do lately.  She made it all day with no vomiting, and had dry toast and water all day.  (Just in case it WAS something viral.)  For dinner tonight she had white rice and a tiny bit of meat.  She did not want more meat than that.  

Tomorrow is stay at the camp day, so she will be on site and go swimming there.  She likes that, so she will probably be ok.  Until next week.  

Her appointment with the psychiatrist is set for the 29th.  I think that they will most likely prescribe something for the anxiety.  Which I will then have to tackle whether or not that is a good idea or not.  She is absolutely miserable.  I am very sad.

Thank you Pakrat for your thoughts.  I totally appreciate them!  

Unfortunately she HAS to go to the summer camp.  It is only a day camp, but with both parents working, we have to have her there.  

She does not really want to go.  Then again, she does not really want to go anywhere.  She really only likes it at home.

UPDATE:  She was up again on Friday night vomiting.  At that time she really let my husband know how bad it has been for her at camp.  I wish there was some other option, but there is not.

So, we did a few things this weekend.  For one, I gave her some Benadryl, to help her sleep.  Just until she gets through this cycle of anxiety.  Not more than a week, but enough to get her out of the habit of worrying all night.

We also talked to her about temporary daycare somewhere else on the days that she believes will be very stressful for her.  I do have a backup day care through my office that I can use a couple of weeks max a year, but that would help on the days that she is worried about (we get a schedule the week before.)

We also got her a digital watch (cannot read regular clocks well) so that she could see what time it was that her Dad was coming to get her.  

Last but not least, we got her a stuffed animal and cable tied it to her backpack.  Otherwise she loses them.  

We also talked, a lot.  I am very hopeful that we can make it through the summer ok.    

Jesus. The poor kid. Poor you too. Hugs if you want them.

She slept through the night last night, with only the help of the Muppets on TV, and Mom staying with her for a little longer than usual.  The watch and stuffed animal are a huge help!  

However, they are going to a bouncy house place today, and she was a little nervous.  I will see how she is tonight.

So, off we go to the second appointment tomorrow.  

I have not told her yet.  I think we will tell her in the morning.  Part of me feels bad, like I should give her more warning.  The other part of me knows that she will be so upset by the whole thing that she will be up vomiting all night.  That part wins.

We plan on having the appointment, getting dinner, and seeing Mamma Mia.  Will update after the appointment.  

Wish me luck, say a prayer, whatever.  

Well, yes, she has an anxiety disorder.  Well, yes, she is on the spectrum.  What the hell to do about it now?  Well that is still in discussion.  

I think the current plan is to wait it out a little more.  

She has 3.5 weeks of camp left for the summer.  She is coping much better with her stuffy and her watch.  

When school starts again, we need to feel things out.  What teacher will she have?  Will she have the same afterschool program teacher?  What kids will she have in her class?  

They did recommend some medication for her anxiety.  I am not sure that the risks outweigh the benefits, so I am still discussing that with Mr. Korrigan.  

There are lots of options if things do not get better.  Either way, we have 1 year as of Friday before we make a big life change, so...can we teach her enough coping skills to make it through another school year.

The appointment was exhausting.  Lunch and Dinner were good. Mamma Mia was AMAZING!  We got home very very late.  Sleepy today.

It is only a day camp, at least, so she can come home every night and recharge.  But the days are long.

There is not really too much space for her to go, but I have talked to the counselors and they are aware of her anxiety.  So I am hopeful that they will work with her if she needs extra help.

The big life change is that we have been working very hard to again survive on one income, so that Mr. Korrigan can home school her, or, if home schooling is not an option (depending on California law) we plan to either enroll her in a charter type/home school hybrid.  Last but not least, if neither of those work out, my husband will be home, so he will be able to pick her up and drop her off when school begins/ends, she will have spring, summer, and holiday breaks, and will not be at school for 12 hours a day, like she is now.  

We incurred a LOT of debt while he was home with her for the first 3.5 years, and have only really been able to pay the minimum for a lot of years.  Just starting last year, we are in a financial position to start paying things off and once we have the debt paid off, we can survive on my income.  

My husband will have a decent amount of retirement vested, and we will adjust our taxes to reflect one income only, and learn to, well, conserve funds more.  

This will make it where he is not at a job he cannot cope with, she is not in a school she cannot cope with, and I do not have to be responsible for so much at home, so that I can enjoy life a little more.

We had originally planned to have another child, but we have discussed it and believe that the child we have is the one we are meant to have, and we need to devote our resources into making her life as good as it possibly can be.

Thank you Silky.  That means a lot to me.