Aspies For Freedom

Well, if this is not a new issue, (the irregular bowel movements) I am guessing that you have tried the usual things, like:
eating healthy and on a schedule, proper hydration and fluids, that kind of thing?  

(Also, how irregular do you mean? Everyone can have a different system, perhaps he eats less than you? Is he in pain or something? I have had nephews with that type of problem, at varying ages, that aren't autistic so.... need more info if you need more feedback.)

As far as washing, do you mean wiping after bowel movements, or in general? This topic (bathroom) has been discussed> I am not that good at finding it, but I will look and find the link to it.  

My aspie/HFA son isn't keen on getting his hair wet (except in a pool) but it is nt an issue or problem for him or anyone, we just work around it. He also likes his face to be very clean, whereas my other son doesn't seem to notice if he gets food on his face and my daughter is the messiest.

I can only speak from personal experience as an Aspie, but I really don't go very often. I never have, when I was a kid I had to get enemas to force me to go. Please don't give your kid something like that because even though I make jokes about it now it was humilating and agonising as a kid. And don't give them laxatives in any form either.

Best thing I can say is try and get more fibre in their diet. It sounds dumb but my mum has to get artificial fibre for her dog who has bowel problems. Its a powder she puts in food. I know she gets it from a health shop.

I had this problem in childhood...I had to get more fiber in my diet, and prune juice really can do the trick. Also I had trouble wiping afterwards until I was about 8 or 9, mainly because of co-ordination and body perception issues.

I know a child who is almost a teen and it takes him about 30 minutes just to wipe. More than an hour of private bathroom time is not unusual. I think perhaps he is very careful about what touches what plus he is fastideous. As I understand it, until he all of a sudden, out of the blue, wanted privacy, he used to call out when he needed help.....

Some people only need to "go" every couple of days or even once a week. It depends on how much they eat and what kind of food. The irregular bowel movements should only be a real concern if the person is suffering constipation as well. If so, they are probably scared to poop because they might have a fissure in their anus and they are very painful.

Having prunes or other dried fruits or prune juice will usually get things moving. I don't advise using laxatives and enemas except in an emergency situation. Mild constipation usually settles down with a diet higher in fibre but if severe constipation usually needs medical attention. I would call constipation severe if the person can't pass a movement at all.

It's not the frequency of the bowel movements that is the real issue, it is whether they are easy to pass when they are actually dropped.

If a 13 year old still needs help wiping their bottom, that's quite old but then it depends on the child I suppose. I got surprised when a friend's 7 year old sister called out for her mum to wipe her bottom because before then, I thought most kids wiped their own bottom from about age 4. I'd have felt mortified if my mum still wiped my bottom after I was 4 but didn't have the same issues with bodily perception as some other aspies.

He doesn't like to touch his own skin... You mean directly, or with a washcloth? If the washcloth is too rough, you could use a dish towel, the cotton kind without the terrycloth.

I didn't wash regularly until I was about nineteen, so it's no surprise. It was just the feeling of being wet, specifically the transition from dry to wet and then wet to dry again, that I hated. I had to be forced to wash until I was maybe fourteen or so; then I showered maybe twice a week until nineteen. The trick was to actually do things the same way every time, so as to finish quickly; otherwise I tended to lose my way and take an hour or two, which was naturally boring and ended up making me hate showers. I learned. I wash every day now. Short hair is a big help.

Oh, yeah. I'm 18 now, and my hair gets pretty oily, so I need to wash it every day, or every other day at the most. Naturally, that's NOT how often it actually gets done. In addition to physical issues, namely a sensitivity to the shampoos that I've used (I think it's the fragrance), taking a shower takes a lot of planning for me.

When I was in a hotel room to register at my college, they had this shower there, and it was a new place, and I had to walk around a lot and stand in there staring at it, before I could actually get myself to do the actions of showering. So a lot of times, if I really don't have the mental energy to plan and execute the motions of taking a shower, I fill up a jug of water and wash my hair in the sink, and use a washcloth to clean my body.

About not feeling pain, a lot of autistics have unusual sensitivity to pain - some things that aren't painful for most people can seem very painful, or things that are very painful may not be perceived as such. I fainted from the pain of having a temporary tattoo rubbed off with a washcloth as a kid, and yet I've had falls and other injuries where I didn't notice any pain, but it left a big bruise or such anyway (I don't get bruises much at all anymore, since I was about 13, even if I fall or something gets hit hard).

Also it can be difficult to identify locations of pain. I still have a hard time differentiating between full, hungry, and stomach-ache feelings, and so usually try different things to see what works - so refrain from eating if feeling full and have eaten within a speficied amount of time, and eat if I haven't eaten in awhile, stuff like that. Also, I tend to stim more when I'm in pain, since it ameliorates the pain that I feel (so while I stim a lot when feeling good or neutral, if I have a stomach ache I'll likely be rocking a lot).

Glad to hear this site is been a good resource for you! I have drawn similar conclusions myself.

Yeah, generally my parents get me food. Luckily in college that I'm going to, there's prepared food that you get with the meal plan. Sometimes, it's just a lot of stuff to co-ordinate.

I'm making myself a lot of cards to self-prompt me on stuff like showering, eating, homework, stuff like that, in addition to lots of alarms and sticky note schedules - that works better for me, because then if it takes me a bit longer to get something done, my whole schedule isn't thrown off, and it takes the edge off of having things change.

I'd maybe consider to invite your son to the forum.
But that would be quite upsetting for him, after this thread.
I think, it would've gave me some hard time to discover, that my mother was discussing this topic in the public of an internet forum.
On second hand, this is maybe the only way to get some first-hand-information on the topic.
Sorry if I didn't help you too much.

Word.

earthmonkey wrote: ......... "to, there's prepared food that you get with the meal plan. Sometimes, it's just a lot of stuff to co-ordinate.

I'm making myself a lot of cards to self-prompt me on stuff like showering, eating, homework, stuff like that, in addition to lots of alarms and sticky note schedules - that works better for me, because then if it takes me a bit longer to get something done, my whole schedule isn't thrown off, and it takes the edge off of having things change.
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Ok.. so it's not uncommon to have to feed my teen aspie then. It drives me nuts b/c he is a picky eater with a junk food palette. This is a result of 2 yrs of not knowing how to handle his mood swings thanks to be bi-polar on top of the aspie condition. Mind you... he's gettign a lot more open to other foods.. thank the Lord for that! Also, he spends a lot of itme on the computer.. I understand that is normal also.
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Hi, I can't say enough about having a schedule.  I was able to stay home and keep track of my sons schedule for eating, sleeping, evacuating his bowels.  I could add and subtract fatty foods (much like mims do with babies adding jarred food to their diets). I kept a journal for all three of my kids.  (If I didn't I could easily lose track, I scheduled times to give them fruit (10:15 AM was snack time).  To this day, we eat at 7AM, 12noon.  Dinner changes by an hour depending on what season we are in.  This helps with bowel functions.  I am very aware of what time of day each of my kids go to the bathroom.  I also know my aspe son does not know he has to go to the bathroom unless he is already in his room, tucked in for bed and it is quiet.  Only when it is quiet can he tell he has to go.  He does not go every day, but every third day.  If was have a special celebration, like a big meal at a restaurant, where he gets to choose, and eats a lot AND has chocolate cake (extra sugar), he will go in two days.  We also have to make sure he is home and in bed no later than 8:30PM every day, always, (earlier actually, so he can wind down before bed) or he "misses" the feeling and it can be 4 days until he goes.  He is grumpier if he hasn't gone.  (He is not aware of this fact, he also does not eat as much and will avoid a bath in this case). Following "natural" biorythms and cravings for food and sleep is not as hard as it might seem.  Not following them causes distress (for us).

What time zone/what state are you in? I think you could PM me and determine if you would like to talk with me about foods and a schedule.  You mentioned fast food, I happen to know that anything with high fructose changes my two sons scheduled hunger feeling, where they are otherwise exactly on schedule.  My daughter is not as affected by sugary or starchy foods and by sugar I mean Fake sugar, like what is in processed foods or fast foods.

HIGH fructose cron syrup is a major problem with hunger and eating:  Anything with high fructose corn syrup

"Several recent studies have shown that fructose is processed differently in the body than the far more common sugar, glucose (3,4). Glucose causes the pancreas to release insulin which drives sugar from the bloodstream into cells. Glucose causes fat cells to release leptin that makes you feel full so you eat less. Glucose prevents the stomach from releasing ghrelin that makes you hungry. On the other hand, fructose does not cause fat cells to release leptin and does not suppress ghrelin. This means that fructose increases hunger to make you eat more. "

I also take the kids to the grocery about an hour before lunch time so that they can pick foods that look good to them, and in some cases they prepare them.  This helps my aspie son, he likes chosing it helps him try new things.   He has a very keen sense of smell and only the best foods will he let pass his lips - but they also have to pass the sniff test. Also, when they were younger, I made it their job to write down what items we were out of, even when they could not spell them, my aspie would draw a picture of the food.  

A few months ago I let him use a knife, to cut potatoes, which he does not like.(potatoes) The prospect of using a knife was like a big privilege for him.  So he cut them and added the olive oil, and the salt,(he loves salt and olive oil) and cut the parsley (we grow it).  He has slowly managed to let his hands get messy (only becasue he wants to cook, so he pretended (he loves to "play" and handle objects) to give the potatoes a bath in the oil, salt etc., (*Like Rachel Ray - We watch alot of cooking shows).  Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago, he actually tasted this cut potato! He is 11, so it only took many years for him to eat a potato!

As he is very detail oriented, it took a long time for him to lovingly prepare them.  His food is better than mine, and the family loves when he makes anything.  I cook fast and he cooks properly.  Even if he doesn't eat what he makes, he likes his veggies separate, he makes inspired salads, artfully arranged. (His main focus is art)

actually its quite possible if not proble. what might help her. if she is hyper sentive to presure/ touch( depends on what part of that sense we're talking about).... is  teaching her to creat a polar sensation  to distract her focus from thw discomft.. ie stiming with a very preposful way and that   will hopefully allow her  nor ro fight with her body so. if you want more info on how to do this  pm me and i'll get to it when i can.

Apart from when they were very little and I had to change the nappies or little pants, I never worried when my kids went to the toilet. If they were getting stomach pains or seemed unwell, it might have been a bit different. It's good to start off with breastfeeding because breastfed babies rarely get constipated.