Aspies For Freedom

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I may as well stick my head into a vat of toxic waste than give advice on women. And I am one. Physically. Mentally, I may as well be a teenage boy when it comes to women. I'm articulate and intelligent and well composed up until a woman speaks to me, and then I turn into Stan from South Park whenever Wendy speaks to him. I've not projectile vomited on a woman yet, but I don't doubt it'll happen one day.

There's plenty of dating websites out there where you can meet women.

How do you attract a woman? I don't know. I get more attention when I'm absolutely disinterested in her. I don't mean showing my disinterest, because thats rude, but when I couldn't give a toss if she likes me or not. Probably because I don't feel as antsy around her. Women pick up on that *** so much. Genuine women will see you're trying to impress them and it puts them the hell off. They don't like it.

Oh, and the communication thing. Just agree with whatever she says, because she doesn't understand it anymore than you do. Take it from the world's worst dyke, women are weird. Seriously weird. They want you to be your friend, but they... don't. Its sussing you out without the dinner.

Oh, and apparently her behaviour screams volumes more than her words. I sat in Borders' Starbucks the other day reading books on the female psyche and its all gobblydigook. I have NT female friends who have to sit down and explain stuff to me - no-one really, really gets that I just don't understand their brains. At least you have the excuse of being a guy. I'm a girl, I'm meant to *** understand them and trust me, I don't. And it frustrates the hell out of me, because I don't everknow what to do to make them happy. I buy her things if she's upset. Useful things. I don't mean a hoover. I do appreciate her. The books say women want to feel appreciated. Well, I thought about her enough to spend £50 on things she'd want, isn't that appreciating her?

Oh God. I've just had a moment of clarity. *** fuck ***

I can attract them... I just can't keep them.

How do you make a woman feel appreciated?

Saying that I did have a girly moment yesterday. I'm quite Americanised in my dress and mannerisms, and this guy came up to me and grabbed my arm, asking me if I had a boyfriend. Shook him off (and I'm *** strong for a girl), walked off. He then started saying "awww darlin' you don't need to run off..." I gave him the most scathing look ever, and did that preppy girl tut and hair flick.

Afterwards I realised that was probably my oestregen kicking in somewhere. But it was okay, because I sat on the bus and played a violent game on my DS afterward.

*Oestregen brain levels dropping... dropping... dropping... we have normality*

So she just likes you to talk to her about anything? And make her feel like her opinions matter? But what if she's talking a load of crap?

So... women want you to listen to them. How do you make them feel like you're listening? I ask her to tell me about her day, and she starts getting crappy that I'm not talking about mine. But I'm showing her interest in what she's doing. Interest in her.

*thumps head* I don't understand. I renounce lesbianism.

She asks me a lot where I've been or what I'm doing. We're not together right now but she knows how I feel (long story but basically un-dxed AS, un-dxed ADHD presenting as a heap of other *** - anger problems, communication problems = insecurity, baaaaaaaaaaaadly) so I'm trying to understand. I don't know why she wants to know, so I tell her straight where I was or what I was doing.

She asks a lot why I don't contact her, or tell her anything about my life. I don't know what to say. Is she saying 'I miss you, please engage with me'. Because I don't know what to say. Its not her, I just wouldn't know what to say to any woman.

LMAO! I nearly spat my Volvic over my keyboard!

Urrrrgggghhh... I just don't get it. I want her to see that I really do appreciate her!

And I don't want to screw up again, even if I never get her back...

None of you are lesbians though. Someone feel sorry for me here.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH brain is melting

I feel extremely sorry for you, I actually feel sorry for anyone that goes after females. I can't think of anything worse , they are crazy and irrational.
It's nice to hear a normal female ranting (well my version of normal). I've never gotten on very well with females friendship wise, I prefure to avoid them.
I will now attempt to explain them. Heh.

Females need to feel like they are the most important person in your life.
Females are generally very insecure, especially they ones that are the most confident. Therefore always find a way to tell them how great they are.
Of course, just to make it more difficult there are females that hate having someone tell them they are great the whole time and prefure someone who is distant and mysterious so that it is a challenge. So it might be worth being a bit distant at a start of a relationship.

Females will over analyse everything you say and do and try and give everything meaning. And I mean everything, e.g trying to decode the amount of x's you put at the end of a text/ email. Female's think that if they work it out then they will know how you truly feel about them.

Females want someone to show off to their friends, they want their friends to feel jealous and they want to win (Females always need to win, they are competitive). Therefore do acts of love that they can show off and talk about e.g. buy them jewelry, flowers, do a drawing if you're good at art, a subscription to their favorite magazine, etc. Females don't care how useful a present is, just as long as they can show it off.

The golden rule for females is that they are always right. Even if they are wrong, they will only sulk if you tell them this.

All females will get moody and irrational from time to time, when they get like this they will act like they hate you and push you away. THIS IS A TEST. This is the time when they want to talk to someone about their feelings, they don't want help, they just want someone to pretend to understand. To do this, practice a concerned face, nod your head but not too much, say "I understand" and agree with them. Also ignore anything cruel they say about you, or act hurt if you want revenge. But if you act hurt too often she will feel like you are taking the attention away from her.


Thanks to the OC it is cool to have a nerdy boyfriend. Females like them because they are sweet and clueless about the opposite sex, putting them in control. Also they think it will make their boyfriend be more appreciative of them. Therefore being an Aspie can be a benefit for getting a girlfriend, but only for those that watch lots of tv (so most of them)

Another tip is to read female magazines (e.g Cosmopolitan, Company). They are filled with advice for men for how to understand females. It seems illogical but this is so that females can subtlety leave the magazines lying around, open at a certain page to try and get their boyfriends to understand them or do certain things. Although they are very patronising towards males, making them out to be no more than simple puppies. This is to make the insecure females feel better about themselves because they are the ones paying for the magazine.

There was me thinking my apparent misogyny was going to get me crucified!

Although saying that I have been eyeing up John Barrowman on Doctor Who - not only is he a local boy, if I was going to go straight... for him, I would

OMG re 'x' at the end of a text - I know girls who get *** with you if you don't send texts with a 'x', although I sent my ex a really nice text apologising for my behaviour. I basically said I could understand that she felt devalued and objectified by me constantly going on about 'us', I didn't see her as a prize to be won but I could understand that she probably felt that way, it was the fear of losing her. I realised how I much it seemed like I didn't appreciate her at times, when in my own funny way, I always have done, and that by pushing and prodding at 'us', I can understand that I de-personalise her, but underneath all of that its because I see her as a wonderful person who has always brought happiness to me. I only go on about 'us' because... well, we fit together. I said I understand that she's angry and hurt, and I don't expect a response, not because I've blown things but because she's hurt by my behaviour. I got a text about 15 minutes later with lots of little s and two kisses at the end, thanking me, saying it was a lovely text to get, saying 'I appreciate you too' and a 'be in touch later...', which I haven't gotten in ages from her (in fact I haven't got since we were together). I don't know what I said right, but I'm not going to even attempt to recapture it in case I balls up stuff again.

Re females being always right... yup. I can look in at a situation and say 'no, you're wrong, its like this' but then I can play devil's advocate really, really **** well. You know that Aspie need to correct other people's mistakes? DO NOT DO THIS TO AN ANGRY WOMAN. IT IS A GONAD REMOVABLE OFFENCE. It doesn't matter how much nonsense she's talking, apparently you've to agree with them. If I was a dude I'd probably have had my testicles nailed to the wall by now.

Aspie85 - ericc on this site is the same as you.

And yup, I am, although I'd probably look too girly for you

My unique selling point for getting boyfriends is that I'm just like them, but i'm a girl. Although that can be a problem with guys that I just want to be friends with, but I think my friends have realised I'm too crazy in my aspie way to want to go out with me. Finally.

She just likes the attention, but too much makes her feel guilty for leading you on. By saying she didn't care if you like her or not she means it will make no difference to her if you do or don't. The statement wasn't related to her personal feelings directly.