Yep, I've been married for nearly four years now...
Finding the first person you connect with is hard - I don't think there's any easy advice for that, as the first step works differently for everyone. Although the internet might be a good place to start.
From there, it's all about observing communication patterns in order to work out what she's saying, and telling her about how you communicate so she can work out what you're saying.
Unless she's aspie, in which case you can sidestep the entire process... *grins*
Well you call at lunchtime or during a break just a short call trying to match it to an appropriate part of the day. Its a woman thing and neglect it at your peril as I have found out over time. But call too often "what are you checking up on me?" Its a fine line. You can't win.
But shouldn't she be able to amuse herself during the day?
you need to be able to cope with and enjoy being ordinary friends before you can become someone's boyfriend.
And you need to be able to enjoy the company of female humans without thinking of sex all the time!
YES!
Great advice, Tig -- and not just for aspies, but for ALL guys. Especially the last ones.
If you're not looking for a PERSON, just for a sexual connection, then you're not ready for a sexual connection.
So, we have consensus: nobody here gets women. Even the women.
Especially the women. Its a social thing. I know from what my wife has said to me about social relationships women are the cruelest of all when it comes to social isolation of others. especially at school.
You're wrong and you're right.
Women DO get women. they get them very well. That's HOW they are so adroit at female-to-female cruelty. masters of sociological torture.
All guys know to do is hit each other a couple of times and go drink beer. Women can torture each other exquisitely for decades.
Of course, in male fantasies, it eventually comes to this:
All my friends are male because, like others said in the thread, I'm a lot like a guy, only female. I do not relate to other women and am extremely awkward with them. Definately don't fit in with them and their interests bore me. Also I can't play their social exchange rituals right. With the guys, I am natual and know how to fit right in.
What frustrated me badly in highschool was that what I REALLY wanted was close friends. Not sex. Friends. Therefore they were the males in the group I hung around with. But when we were alone they'd often try to make sexual or romantic moves on me. This felt like a betrayal and that they saw me as something to use rather than a friend. I was jealous of the things the guys did together and the convos they had because I wanted to be part of their group. But I usually couldn't have that because they'd try to paw me. (grumble)
There is a reason women love gay men so much. Friendship with safety.
Re females being always right... yup. I can look in at a situation and say 'no, you're wrong, its like this' but then I can play devil's advocate really, really **** well. You know that Aspie need to correct other people's mistakes? DO NOT DO THIS TO AN ANGRY WOMAN. IT IS A GONAD REMOVABLE OFFENCE. It doesn't matter how much nonsense she's talking, apparently you've to agree with them. If I was a dude I'd probably have had my testicles nailed to the wall by now.
Yeah I ended up learning this the hard way. One of my friends was in a bad mood, and she pronounced something wrong, and I....corrected her. If she wasn't one of my best friends, I probalby would've had more than her left shoe thrown at me, and some raised voices. I learned my lesson. They are right, and I am worng, moreso when they are upset.
It really annoys me when females act like prima donnas in this way and I'm a female myself.
Yeah, I get a bit irritated if somebody corrects me but if I realise they are right and I am mistaken, I will concede. If I think I am correct, I might say "no, this is the way it's pronounced". I really have to restrain myself from correcting others when they say "haitch" - it annoys so much because it should be "aitch".
I learned the hard way at a young age not to correct adults because it didn't matter if they said the correct thing or not; by definition they were correct simply by virtue of being adults and in a position of power.
Does that mean I might be too logical for my own good? I seem to find other women as mystifying as some of the men here.
I learned the hard way at a young age not to correct adults because it didn't matter if they said the correct thing or not; by definition they were correct simply by virtue of being adults and in a position of power.
Heh, yeah. When my father was an altar boy, he got in trouble for correcting the priest's pronunciation of Latin at mass. 
Although saying that I have been eyeing up John Barrowman on Doctor Who - not only is he a local boy, if I was going to go straight... for him, I would
Although that would require Barrowman also going straight -- which would be very disappointing for his boyfriend.
My female cousin at the reunion said something similar to what my mom said once; girls are tougher to deal with, you have to be sensitive with their feelings. My cousin said you could be blunt with a son and he would usually be OK with it.
On the other hand, the average guy might be more durable, but perhaps less sensitive than an average woman. Both durability and sensitivity are good, but under different circumstances.
Remind her who pays for the Internet service, and suggest she get her own machine.
End of story. At least in my non-parental mind.
I still can't understand some of my wifes communication practices after 18 years. I still do pretty good though.
The problem remains saying one thing and meaning the exact oppossite. And the worst thing I could say if for instance, "you didn't do such and such" Ok what is the problem?
Read, you don't love me enough to take out the garbage. Logically you would simply take it out. Sorry doesn't work. A great big hug and a kiss works and I love you works. Then just take it out quietly. Much later.
How on earth does something logical mean something entirely different is the challenge.
More examples please.
There's the one where you're at a party or some other "do" at a friend or acquaintance's place and if you ask if they need any help with tidying up and washing the dishes, they probably say "no". I would take that to mean they have everything under control and my assistance isn't required.
But then some people told me it means they do want some help. Well, if so, why on earth don't they say so? That's so ridiculous.
As for taking out the garbage, I always put the bins out myself. It doesn't bother me to do that and nor does it bother me to put the toilet seat down when it is up (although I'm not overly thrilled with wet patches on the floor or skid marks in the bowl).
It really bothers me when women act like martyrs over things like putting the bins out. Why don't they just say "would you please put the bin out"?
Going for a walk around the block can be very calming. All this noise and stress is probably the reason men often go to the pub. I used to think it was a bit mean of them but now I can see why some want to get away from all the nagging and screaming kids.
Probably, if the mother is complaining about how much bother the kids have given her during the day she doesn't want their father to say "well, you should give them a good hiding" or "if you disciplined them better, you wouldn't have all this trouble" or to simply yell at the kids.
She'd rather he amused the kids for a while to give her a break. The thing that makes this difficult is he's often had a hard day too and wants to wind down and de-stress and kids are usually on their worst behaviour at that time.