Aspies For Freedom

Personally, given the choice of "unpopular genius" (as I might modestly describe myself now *ahem* :oops or "popular dimblebrain" I know which one I'd pick...... Most people I meet share 2 common factors - they're stupider than me and they're happier than me.

I'd happily rip the hand off anybody who could offer me a cure, and would learn to live with the consequences, good and bad. I know my particular perspective is unlikely to find much support on these forums from what I've read elsewhere, but anyway.....

For what its worth, I am unhappy because I suffer from a disability that prevents me from properly partaking in many of the most basic human functions, but am not severely enough disabled that I don't wish to partake of same. All the "self-acceptance" in the world isn't going to  make people like or accept me. Saying that being liked and accepted isn't important is simply bunkum when you're towards the higher-functioning end of the spectrum as I am.

I think is unrealistic and unattainable to get everyone else to "accept us for what we are" - there are more of them than there are of us: why should we expect them all to bend to our whim? It is our responsibility to make the effort towards them, not t'other way 'round. If "the majority" had to twist and turn to meet the self-interest needs of every single minority group then the whole world would end up in a giant game of "Twister".

Anyway, there you go.....

What? All those different people said exactly the same thing as I did? Why, that's flagrant plagiarism! :evil:

This isn't the first time actually: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" was one of mine too.... Would JFK give me my fair share of t-shirt sales and royalties for it? Would he 'eckers like!  All he did was spout stuff like the fact that I was born a decade after he said it disqualified me..... Bleedin' politicians, I tell you.... you can't trust 'em any further than you can throw 'em (which in my case is actually pretty far given my muscled, chiselled, adonis-like figure, but anyway....) Grrrrr........ :evil:

Saint Stevie: Firstly well done on having the fortitude to admit to the unpopular view. I can appreciate your courage as its something I've done myself. The only difference is that as an NT I came to realise that acceptance of difference was the only viable way forward for my daughter to be accepted for who she is rather than who others want her to be.

Your previous post saying you'd be glad for a cure saddened me a good deal. I think you said it because you feel that people would be more accepting of you if you were NT?

That may or may not be true - who can say? - but there is one thing to consider. A 'cure' would not stop you being the person that you are. It would stop you being autistic but you would still be Saint Stevie. As you seem like an intellegent and humourous person to me I can only be mystified about why you'd want to change that.

Wouldn't you rather be accepted for who you actually are rather than  for a version of yourself others found acceptable? This sounds a bit like hippy bullshit but its true to say that you cannot possibly love or be loved until you can be at peace with yourself. Why? Because once you're at peace with yourself you stop giving a crap about what others think anyway and you relax and become less eager to please and more likeable for who you are.

As it is, there's no cure for autism and I can't see it happening for a long long time. That my friend is a hell of a long time to be unhappy with who you are. If I could patronise you with a bit of advice it would be this: life's too short and too great to seek unhappiness or need the approval of others. If people can't accept you for who you are then thats their issue. Especially when who you are isn't a choice but the essence of you.

Thanks - nothing to do with "courage" though I'm afraid. As AS byproducts I both have incredibly strong opinions, and no empathy and so don't really care what anybody else thinks of what I have to say. It matters nought to me if I get rail-roaded for unpopular opinion frankly.

Why? If I was quadraplegic would you be saddened that I wanted a cure? You could give me a state of the art robotised, drinks-dispensing motorised wheelchair, build me all the access ramps in the world, and everybody could look upon with all the condescending "there, there" understanding in existence - fact is, I'd still have a crippling handicap that prevents me from performing basic, taken for granted human functionality..... So why is wanting a cure for AS any different? I have a limited circle of almost-friends that know all about and "understand" my affliction - I still can't relate normally with them no matter how much "understanding" they affect - frankly, I'm sick of it! :mad:

No, I'd no longer be handicapped and prevented from leading the kind of life I want and that non-handicapped people take for granted.

Trust me, I've known me a sight longer than you have..... :wink: And the certain knowldge of my intellectual and comedic stature and superiority is of remarkably little succour..... (I should have mentioned by the way how intollerably arrogant I am, but I figured you'd all soon work that one out for yourselves :wink

You're missing the point a bit - I don't care at all what anyone thinks of me, and I don't care about anyone else full stop. I want to be able to care about whether I am accepted or not if that makes any sense? :?

Thanks for the sentiments - fact is I gave up on this whole life business a long time ago if I'm being honest..... Just another 40 or so years to go being morbidly unhappy in mine....... :evil:

See the above :wink:

"Putting on an act" is the only way to get anywhere if you're aspie - that's just the way it is, matey. Its torture, but I do it because its a basic necessity of survival - bitter reality is that its either that or live in sheltered housing the rest of my life and that isn't an option.....

Nobody's done that with me in 36 years - if it was going to happen it would have done by now..... I only ever get any degree of "acceptance" by p"utting on an act" - that tells me all I need to know.

Perhaps the 2 facts aren't unrelated? You kind of make my point for me..... :smile: As an aspie you have 2 choices: You can act "normal" and stand a chance of gaining at least a modicum of social and professional success, or act "normally" and more likely than not remain alone and either unemployed or in menial, dead-end jobs.... Tough choice. I know a lot of lower-functioning aspies don't really have that choice - I'm lucky in being high functioning enough to be able to pull it off to a reasonably convincing enough level for a sufficient amount of time each day. Life is indeed a female dog - ain't no denying it....

Sorry yes I was paraphrasing, it wasn't about Stevie but more a general comment about people who may want a cure.

Personally I don't think this has anything to do with how severely one is affected - I think it's just different ways people deal with things. It seems some people project all their problems outwards, and seek blame in others, some people accept each and every part of their person as a component of themselves, some blame themselves for any difficulty they have and others see problems as a "foreign" part of themselves. (Donna Williams describes autism that way for example, she seems to see some parts of it as an unwanted part of herself - and you'd probably not say she was close to NT?)

It may even be that a certain type of awareness is the main difference between things like tics and stims for example. In Tourette Syndrome a lot of the tics etc. seem to be perceived as "coming from something beyond your control" whereas stims are largely something "you want to do".

Ultimately I think it's a person's perception of something that should be listened to. Of course bad self esteem is something that needs to be dealt with but not everyone who is deeply unhappy with aspects of their AS is necessarily so because they have low self esteem or because they are not accepted. I think Stevie's attitude is reasonable - I'd find it much more concerning if she saw herself as a whole as 'defective'. If someone is unhappy about parts of themselves it is healthier to recognise the parts and deal with them than to project the problems onto one's personality as a whole.

Sorry if I came across rude, I was trying to edit my post but the formatting went AWOL and I didn't get to change it.

In any case, I think perhaps this really depends on peole's perceptions - some people see their AS as a large part of themselves, others may just focus on one or two things that bother them when they are talking about whether or not "they want to be cured".

This is also something that I see happening on some parent forums - sometimes when someone speaks "against a cure", they often think of autism as an integral part of who a person is. (This seems to be the most common view). But another parent may be thinking of some very problematic aspect (for example autoaggression) of their child's autism, and he or she gets very upset and angry because from their PoV, someone is suggesting that they should just accept these severe problems and not do anything against them.

I am sure a lot of misunderstandings could be avoided if people were more clear what they meant exactly when they speak of cure or acceptance or what aspects of autism they are referring to.

Stevie: thanks for the considered reply, I appreciate it.

I think (personally) that its a shame you feel unhappy with your present situation and if there was a cure and if you wanted to pursue it then I couldn't agree with your choice but I would totally support and respect your right to do that as it has come from you, an autistic person, making that choice.

However, I'll come clean and say that like Paula it does sadden me. I hope for my daughter that she grows to be a strong, confident, happy autistic woman. These are the values my wife and I hope to instill in her. My participation in these and other forums where autistics are in the majority has shown me that this is not only possible but likely. I'm not going to guess at your upbringing as its none of my business suffice it to say that I hope that one day we have a majority of parents who can seperate clearly the autism from the comorbidity requiring intervention and can define their childrens autism as the simple difference it is rather than basing their childresn autism on the comorbidities they display.

I'd just like to point out by the way that I'm a bloke...... :smile: Don't let the avatar fool you.....

I THOUGHT as much (from Aspietalk) but then Amy referred to you as 'she' I think, so I figured she must know something I don't! (Well she probably knows millions of things I don't!!!)

I have the virtue, morality and aura of righteous serenity of a saint (plus this blinking halo which won't leave me alone..... it really gives me gyp when I'm trying to sleep, I can tell you....), but sadly not the official soubriquet..... Apparently, der Panzerkardinal won't beatify me because I don't believe in God, believe it or not..... :roll: Talk about weasling out on a technicality..... :mad: I'd take it up with my MP if it wasn't for the fact that he just turned Tory..... :evil:

Shhh!!!!! I'm under cover.... :wink: Don't reveal any of my other identities or I'm sunk.... :lol:

LOL... OTHER identities?  :lol:

Hehe going undercover usually does not involve using an (almost)  identical avatar and a similar name, you know  :wink:

I think if SaintStevie really wishes a "cure" and it is available and he is properly informed about the good and bad consequences, then that's his choice what he does about it.

It's harder with children as the parents are supposed to be making the judgement as to what is the best for their children and some are not making the best decisions for the children for whatever reason. This doesn't just have to do with disabilities, though.

You can get parents who can't accept that their daughter has a muscly build and try to turn her into a dainty little waif or someone with a boy who is shy and quiet and they want to turn him into the life of the party.

Personally, I don't want to be cured of my autism but I would like to be cured of my depression. I don't think the autism is as much of a hindrance in life as depression.

I can't do all the pretendy stuff and make out that I am NT all the time or happy all the time. Nobody understands me, not even myself, but I'm used to that now.

According to the Curebie Bingo page, all the quotes are real, in paraphrased form if not directly quoted.