For months I've been asking for simple information from a large charity. Not confidential, not difficult to find, just information I needed so I could do a piece of work. They knew I'm on the autistic spectrum. It's their department's job to help people with disabilities.
Nothing. Delay after delay. Passed from one person to another. Finally they wrote to say I was asking the wrong people and they wouldn't help me.
My boss (non-autistic), looked at what I asked for, understood it completely, wrote an email to them saying actually no, we need the info, and said that what they were doing was bad working practice for working with someone with an ASD, which I'd already told them. Within ten minutes, the info was with me.
* sigh *
Just makes you wonder, doesn't it.
Nothing's improved much then.
Sometimes my husband has been able to get information that I couldn't, simply because I'm female I suppose.
A colleague was getting the run-around by the police who wouldn't take his complaint seriously until he corrected the sergeant "That's
Doctor K..., not mister K...".
Suddenly they were all attentive...
And the female doctor who obviously thought that I was neglecting my youngest son, who 'wasn't growing quickly enough' (
five children...
) until she found out that the oldest three all went to prestigious schools! Suddenly she thought that there might be a health problem after all...
The world is full of people whose minds, eyes and ears are blocked up by prejudice.
I think it's actually more your attitude. Dilbert defines stupidity as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
What you did, time and time again was to say, "I wold be very appreciative if you were to provide me *this*."
And time and time again, you were ignored.
What your boss did once was to say, "Give me *this* now dammit! Or else!"
He got you what you wanted in ten minutes.
I think it's actually more your attitude. Dilbert defines stupidity as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
What you did, time and time again was to say, "I wold be very appreciative if you were to provide me *this*."
And time and time again, you were ignored.
What your boss did once was to say, "Give me *this* now dammit! Or else!"
He got you what you wanted in ten minutes.
Yes but I know from personal experience, using the direct approach gets you labeled as rude. I've been thinking a lot recently about nt's and their high social skills and i've come to the conclusion that the only reason why they have good social skills is because they cheat, not because they are good. It's okay for a nt to lie and manipulate, just not those on the spectrum. (i'm rambling and overgenralising, sorry)
WatsonSword has it right.
Prejudice again; a man can be forceful, but a woman using the exact same phrase would be called strident, or rude. Women are still held to much higher standards of behaviour than men. And listened to less. Neurotype barely comes into it.
Although I used to find I was deferred to much more when I was dressed in full motorcycle gear; full-faced helmet, leather jeans, fringed leather jacket, steel toe capped boots etc. Perhaps people thought I was male?
Funny how their atttude often changed when they realised I'm female(-ish)!
WatsonSword has it right.
Prejudice again; a man can be forceful, but a woman using the exact same phrase would be called strident, or rude. Women are still held to much higher standards of behaviour than men. And listened to less. Neurotype barely comes into it.
Although I used to find I was deferred to much more when I was dressed in full motorcycle gear; full-faced helmet, leather jeans, fringed leather jacket, steel toe capped boots etc. Perhaps people thought I was male?
Funny how their atttude often changed when they realised I'm female(-ish)!
This is all so very true! I've had experiences of not being able to get the help I need but if I have a man with me who asks on my behalf, the other people are more likely to do something.
Nope, my boss is also a woman, and her request was as polite as mine had been. That's what makes it particularly odd.
Oh well. NTs, eh...who can understand then (shrug)
Nope, my boss is also a woman, and her request was as polite as mine had been. That's what makes it particularly odd.
Oh well. NTs, eh...who can understand then (shrug)
ME ME ME!!!
(That is, if they were all the same. Like not all AS people are the same. You cannot judge someone by their neurotype alone.)
The response was probably gained as the person who sent the request was of a higher rank than you.
I am very used to being treated like warmed poo by the clients I work with, while they are so pleasant to my boss, that it makes me ill. All about who is "important" in their eyes.
I'm short, I look like a kid, nobody listens to children, end of.
In the latest un-thrilling instalment, the guy who was refusing to let me have the info, then sent it to my boss, has now written to all of his colleagues to say that if I email any of them personally and put the word Confidential on the email they're to copy my email to everyone else in the group (without my permission) so they know what's going on. (I know some of them personally, so write to them personally about personal stuff), He's even copied me into the email. Perhaps accidentally.
I've told him he has no right to do this. It's against the data protection act, for a start. It also makes it look like he thinks I'm so incompetent that I wouldn't know what people would need, or am sending it to the wrong person when it needs to go to the whole group. Nope.
What do we make of that, then? I'm really shaken by it. This is the guy in charge of learning disability work for his group. It's not as if he doesn't know about respecting those whose brains process information differently and including them appropriately in work.