Hey everyone, my social life isn’t going that well again. Like usual, more of my friends are beginning to isolate me. Usually I put all my effort to keep my friendships stable for a few reasons. Firstly, I don’t want to become a loner, which was one of the reasons contributed towards the bullying I faced. Also I feel limited towards who should be my friends, as I don’t want to end up having ‘forced’ friendships with manipulative chavs, which that form of bullying that had been ongoing for me at my school. However, with all my effort I try to put in, I still don’t reach the standards of being a ‘friend’ towards my peers. I’m starting to loose my will, that I don’t have a care if I end up loosing contact with most of my friends in the future. So, should I give up or keep trying?
Hey Joel..I just learned the hard way that the friends who isolate you...aren't friends...
I have friends who love me despite and because and who I am
I am sure you do also.
I'ts only three for me...
Concentrate on them
Hey joel,
I have been down that road. When I was at school I would hang around with anyone just to fit into the crowd. It was a special needs boarding school. The people I was hanging around with were mugs and always did naughty things that I joined in with to fit in even though I knew it was wrong. On top of that I didn't have many local friends and was desperate for some. I knew that if I started liking football (everyone loves that) that I could probably make friends and that's what happend. I joined a footy club which was a special needs team but had a huge section where nts played and I made loads of friends. I have played for this club for 7 years and got myself really involved in the club and I also have lots of great friends on holiday who in their own words "love me for who I am and that my AS makes me who I am and if I didn't have AS I may not be the great person I am." I must say that dispite having all these friends that in fairness are abserloutly brilliant and they do look after me. I do doubt them a lot because so many people and even some people now say they will do things for me and then they advoid me. My advice fella is that you pursue an intrest that is strong to you and that you genuely want to get into. Go and join a club or organisation where you can take part in that intrest and meet others with that intrest. When you first meet people, try to see what they are like and see the personalities they have by seeing the way they act, the body langerage and even the tone of their voices. See also if they are inclusive of new people etc. The amount of clubs and organisations I have tried I have lost count. I'm very lucky that I have a great bunch of friends that do seem to look after me but I always doubt them and they know it and the amount of times they have to reassure me they still my friends I have lost count. Also try to realise buddy that if people don't want to be your friend then that's their problem not yours. You do not have to change who you are because proper friends accept you for who you are. May I also say that I don't always understand my friends points of view because this poxy AS seems to reduce me from doing that but I tell them to be 100% honest with me and tell me the reasons not the excuses. They know only to well I have this poxy condtion but they encourage me no matter what. I somtimes don't belive it when they tell me I'm worth something but deep down I know they are right. Me and most of my friends are involved in sport of some kind and I find when I meet others other intrests come in too from proper friends. I always tend to personally tell friends that I meet that I have AS and I try to explain to them what it is so that if they are going to be friends they will accept me for who I am but that depends on the person. I'll tell you my secret to making friends that I use. I'm an abserloute chatterbox who doesn't shut up because I have the enthuasuim and desire to pursue my love for football and sport and others who I meet through those sports share that and that's what bonds a connection with them. I also am very caring and always offer to say help clear up after training (like putting the goals away etc) which people do apprate and even if they don't want your help they are grateful you asked. There are some winkles in the world buddy but try to focus on the real people not the twots who have their own lack of self confidence and so try to take it out on others. Just think, these winkles who look popular who take the mick out of others in a horrible way they are only looking pouplar because people who hang round with them are using them. If they really needed those people they wouldn't be there for them, trust me I know groups of people like that. I know it's hard fella because there are some abserloute twots out there but people are not all bad. Do't try too hard, be relaxed and be yourself. Soz such a long message but hope it helps. If you want any further help feel free to email me at footymadian@googlemail.com. Cheers mate and keep your head up! Regards. Ian