Hello!
I chose this name somewhat whimsically, as I'm the only girl in my house of boys. If it's easier, you can call me Bea.
So! I am here because I've heard of your site through AutismSpeaks (no rotten tomatoes please!), and I've been lurking here on and off since last year when my son was diagnosed with classic autism. Some folks here would know me by username of Evie over there. I'm telling you this so I can be upfront about it. I just wanted a new screenname, is all.
Anyway, I figured I should probably come out of my lurker mode and say "Hello!" to everyone. I look forward to talking with you.
Let me be the first to welcome you here to AFF!
I hope you enjoy your stay here out of lurker mode. And hopefully no one will judge you based off of coming from the autism speaks forum.
And welcome from my good half, too!
(Sorry, have my stupid hat on today!
)
Hi Bea!
he, my wife is also the only girl in a house of five boys.
three out of those five are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and she is calling herself a middlewoman, something in the gray area between neurotipical spectrum and autistic spectrum.
Warm Autistic Welcome
NONO, not too close please, thanks
Hi Bea!
he, my wife is also the only girl in a house of five boys.
three out of those five are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and she is calling herself a middlewoman, something in the gray area between neurotipical spectrum and autistic spectrum.
Warm Autistic Welcome
NONO, not too close please, thanks
Hi, DocMartin! Thanks very much.
I can sort of understand what your wife is saying. All four of my kiddos have some kind of special need (speech language issues), and we think my oldest son might be an aspie. We're going to try to find out for sure this summer. My hubby is probably somewhere on the spectrum himself, but he doesn't feel any need to do anything about it. He's pretty okay with himself as is! We've had to work pretty hard, him especially, but so far it's working well, too.
So how do you manage to get along with four children?
When our no.4 was born we sold the car and made the mistake to buy a bigger one wich we had to sell after a short time because we couldn't afford it.
If your husband is okay with himself, fine. I have to say that i felt a big relieve after discovering about my own asperger. It somehow gives your expectations from yourself another direction.
And, honestly, I don't know were I'd be today without my friends of the local autistic community. I had a very hard time at work and with the partnership in the last two years. Ah, but that actually doesn't belong here.
Welcome!
Hi, and thanks! It's good to be here.
*aside*
You know, our Pika loves to scare moms
Hi Bea!
he, my wife is also the only girl in a house of five boys.
three out of those five are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and she is calling herself a middlewoman, something in the gray area between neurotipical spectrum and autistic spectrum.
Warm Autistic Welcome
NONO, not too close please, thanks
Hi, DocMartin! Thanks very much.
I can sort of understand what your wife is saying. All four of my kiddos have some kind of special need (speech language issues), and we think my oldest son might be an aspie. We're going to try to find out for sure this summer. My hubby is probably somewhere on the spectrum himself, but he doesn't feel any need to do anything about it. He's pretty okay with himself as is! We've had to work pretty hard, him especially, but so far it's working well, too.
So how do you manage to get along with four children?
When our no.4 was born we sold the car and made the mistake to buy a bigger one wich we had to sell after a short time because we couldn't afford it.
If your husband is okay with himself, fine. I have to say that i felt a big relieve after discovering about my own asperger. It somehow gives your expectations from yourself another direction.
And, honestly, I don't know were I'd be today without my friends of the local autistic community. I had a very hard time at work and with the partnership in the last two years. Ah, but that actually doesn't belong here.
Well, it's not always easy, yeah. We've had minivans for a few years now (one we bought was very old and it crapped out quickly) because ours were all 5 and younger at one point and in car seats...we couldn't manage without a minivan! My husband is also a grocery store manager, so that stretches our budget quite a lot. We get a 5% rebate on all purchases, and the other department heads will often either cut him a deal (especially in the meat department, yay!) or let him know ahead of time when they're going to be doing a sale. We save money on gas that way, since we don't need to make an extra trip just to grocery shop. We're very grateful for this job, as I stay home with the kiddos and raise them and take care of the home. He is also going to school full-time, and will have his Bachelors in Business Administration very early in 2010, I think. He works very hard, does my hubby.
As far as getting a dx goes, we've talked about it, and he credits the Marine Corps, the Boy Scouts and even moi (hahahahaha!) for helping him "get along" better. He's learned how and when to use tact appropriately, and he's working on how to handle it when things go awry.
I think just knowing that it's likely has given him a lot of piece with himself. He's much more comfortable making errors and owning up to them now, since he understands himself a little better. There's a chance that he's not an aspie, but fits another label altogether. We're not sure, and since he doesn't want to find out for sure, I don't push him to.
I can understand why you might want to, and how it has probably helped you. 
A little self-knowlege never hurt anyone, did it?
Wow, that got really long-winded, didn't it? As you can tell, I'm one of those annoyingly chatty NT's.
Wow, that's really alot.
In how many payments would you accept me to answer?
Welcome!
Hi, and thanks! It's good to be here.
*aside*
You know, our Pika loves to scare moms
So noted.
I'm just teasing you a little, Pika. I'm looking forward to getting to know you, and everyone else here.
You are very positive. That's nice
provided you have the patience to wade through all those words and emoticons...*sigh*
It's embarrassing, really, how much I talk.
You sound optimistic, friendly. ~Hello and Welcome to AFF~
Hello, and welcome! I'm 18 and for many years no one in the school's special services has thought much of my autism-related difficulties and dismissed my problems as being "bright, but a little socially awkward" because the diagnosis was Asperger's and I'd done fairly well academically. Ironically, I have a number of friends (though had almost none before high school, because at my high school there is a lot more accepting of different people), and my main difficulties have been with speech, executing/initiating movements, auditory processing, self-care, etc.
But even e-mailing the special services people wouldn't get them to notice, and they'd repeat the same stereotype in direct contradiction to the evidence my parents and I bring. I can understand someone in the general public thinking Asperger's means you can't be disabled or are just a bit shy or something, but they work with a lot of spectrum people at that school.
Even when, a couple years ago, when I started going on autistic forums and becoming more aware of my actual abilities and disabilities (accurate self-reflection on this can be difficult when you've been told since young how bright and gifted you're supposed to be).
So they stalled and stalled on testing all the way until after I'd already graduated, and after years of having my difficulties with speech and auditory processing as well as other things, they're only now acknowledging it, even though a couple years ago I would type exactly what I had difficulty with.
It's only been recently that I can look at my childhood and see the signs of being autistic (when really by age 7 for sure it should've been blatantly clear, but my dad is on the spectrum and so when my mom would point out something odd about me, he'd always tell her how he was "exactly the same way").
Nah, we never paid much attention to developmental "milestones", and my parents have never occurred to them to think about development occurring on a "schedule". I guess I'm lucky that way, though the school psychologist seemed absolutely confounded at how my parents don't care whether I'm diagnosed classically autistic or Asperger's (though we certainly cared about the IEP classification, which only indicated speech and language, but speech therapy was only about things like non-literal language, which isn't a problem for me, and occurred hardly ever, so was practically non-existent).
So, while we've encountered these problems very late in the journey (in the last few years of my high school), I can well relate to the frustrations that can come with dealing with schools on these issues, especially with all the bureaucracy to deal with, and especially when the people at the school are unprofessional and you know more about autism than them.
I think about these things a lot, because I do intend to be a parent when I'm older and will probably adopt an autistic child (which is yet another reason I've gotten into autistic advocacy - so that parents and kids can have a better chance of NOT having to wade through all the bureaucracy and intentional misunderstanding which comes with those individuals who, instead of trying to change their misunderstanding, claim that their misunderstanding must be true since they're a professional).
Much as I'm sure that you and other parents of autistic kids find the stories and insights of other autistic people to be helpful, I am very much interested in the stories and insights of those who raise children and autistic children in specific, whether they're my parents, or some other person whether they're autistic or not.
atypical:
"(it tokk him till age 8 to get his Th sound though)"
Our five y/o has a lot of th-sounds, although there is no sound like this in hebrew or in german.
Oh not in german - or hebrew - well my grandmor=ther (bobcia) could speak yiddish and my mom is german.... LOL
Doc - I was aware of the fact that some countries used that sound not at all, which ones I'd not known. (th) I thought of my bobcia's accent (eastern europen) and the irish when he spoke and said tanks - his L's were (supposedly) late too - he has a baby brother named Liam - that he called weeam, for a while, but it kicked in.
I think I mentioned that he seemed to be speaking Korean -during his babbling era- my dad said it did (knows Korean, Korean war)- it sounded like mandarin to me (don't really know what that sounds like)
I only wanted to say, that he's lisping.
(didn't know that in the parents forum everything has to be so serious)
It's only been recently that I can look at my childhood and see the signs of being autistic (when really by age 7 for sure it should've been blatantly clear, but my dad is on the spectrum and so when my mom would point out something odd about me, he'd always tell her how he was "exactly the same way").
I had the same problem about belief re autism when it was suggested my two youngest were "possibly autistic". "Nonsense, they are just like me!"
And my father; and his father...
I had an interesting conversation with number two son this evening, the twenty-five year old Martial Arts Instructor. He is visiting us for a week from England. Earlier this afternoon, he had expressed disbelief in the idea that any of us are autistic.
This evening, Dave was describing how he teaches social skills to his students, and how important he finds it to make sure that they really understand.
I pointed out that a few years ago, 'they' decided that the most obvious difference between autistic people and the majority was that autists had to learn social skills intellectually - we don't just 'get' it instinctively. So 'they' decided that all people who learn social skills intellectually rather than instinctively must be autistic. So all of us who were previously just 'eccentric' now have a label - Asperger's Syndrome - which has made it easier in many ways to find others more likely to be like us!
Dave seemed to really understand that!
He makes 'normal' eye contact for our family - i.e. not much; but that's OK because we can see that he's thinking about what he's saying, so it doesn't matter.
And it is great for his students - because they get loads of practical training with the profound stuff all mixed in and virtually no lectures!
How would a label have helped? Well, it might have made it easier for him to get help instead of bullying at school - but, as he says, it is the experience of bullying that made him determined to make a success of his calling, and he says it gave him empathy towards the weak and put-upon; so that no student he teaches need ever fear bullying again.
I have four sons, one daughter and two grandsons.
I am certain that most, if not all, of them are on the spectrum; but it doesn't matter what 'the labels' say, because they are just like us. 
Welcome!
I am also a parent here and have enjoyed chatting with everyone for about a year now I guess. My nearly 17 year old daughter, Hope, is an Aspie.
This is appropos of nothing, but here's a pic of the kitten I'm going to pick up in FL soon (Ragdoll/Siamese) mix:
To say that I am excited is an understatement.
Anyhoo, welcome on board.
Ellen in SC, USA
PS I read your personal page, and I am also a writer, mainly of poetry. My brother is best friends with Pat Conroy though. Both went to The Citadel here in SC.
I also sent a mash letter to Saul Bellows once years ago and got a response!
Hi Bea!
he, my wife is also the only girl in a house of five boys.
three out of those five are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and she is calling herself a middlewoman, something in the gray area between neurotipical spectrum and autistic spectrum.
Warm Autistic Welcome
NONO, not too close please, thanks
Hi, DocMartin! Thanks very much.
I can sort of understand what your wife is saying. All four of my kiddos have some kind of special need (speech language issues), and we think my oldest son might be an aspie. We're going to try to find out for sure this summer. My hubby is probably somewhere on the spectrum himself, but he doesn't feel any need to do anything about it. He's pretty okay with himself as is! We've had to work pretty hard, him especially, but so far it's working well, too.
Hi Kween Bea - I lurked a bit before taking a name and coming in as well- but this is my 1st aspie forum - Obviously there are some really great folks on here - welcome !
How old is your eldest son, my eldest had speech and language - delays etc., early on 3, 4, 5, 6, was Dx'd over the summer with an LD (math) at around age 9 and at age 10 ish AS in the fall last year.
Hello, atypical!
My oldest is eight and a half. He was given an IEP for Speech Language impairment last December, but we've known for awhile that there was a problem with his language skills. We just didn't realize the extent of it because he is (if you'll pardon the bragging) very bright, and compensated extremely well. All 4's in language arts, if you can believe it!
I am curious (and you don't have to answer), but I'm wondering if you "knew" it was a form of autism right off, or if you came to that gradually? I had no idea that some of the "odd" things my oldest does/has done and some of his other delays (late walker,for example)were indicative of anything at all until after I started researching autism when I suspected my J was autistic.
I belive it, whereas my son was delayed (was speaking 100 words at age 1 etc., eye contact and all that) he stopped at around a year and a half - and then caught up around age 4/5. He was still a bit behind when it came to kindergarten/1st grade alphabet (Not interested) He then caught up there too - and then surpassed. He was good at compensating (he hit the wall last year - darn multistep processes and complex math!) (ah and speech and language, he had alovely woman names Kim who made a dramatic difference in how he was understood - he has impeccable speech reproduction skills (it tokk him till age 8 to get his Th sound though). No one would ever know he babbled incoherently (albeit happily for years)
To your question - well I guess that might answer it - a bit. Looking back, he was born a fully formed adult male personality - it was funny - he was like a little old man who liked his routine, and he did the rythmic jouncing thing in his crib, but nothing too obvious. At age 18 months, he had stopped eye contact and did not seem to hear us - and lined things up and stacked and organized his things pretty typical stuff I should say. He has two younger siblings so.....
That's very interesting! Thank you for answering the question, too. I appreciate it.
My B didn't quite travel the same arc, but it sounds familiar. He's got his obsessions (dinosaurs since age two, rules, trouble with literal speech, used to line up his Matchbox cars and dinosaurs and count them, rather than play with them) I'm on the fence between Aspie and Semantic-Pragmatic Disorder for him. He doesn't really stim (though he has before, slightly) and has never had tantrums. Like...NEVER. His sensory issues seem not much different from my own, and as far as I can tell, I am not on the spectrum. Just a few traits.
I guess we'll find out for sure here soon enough.
Wow, I had forgotten that since he was a baby he did flap his hands alot, and later alot, and he rarely does now, but he is such an enthusiastic speaker that his hands move alot when he talks and he motions - people love his oral reporting skills. (particularly on a subject he is into - they change all the time). I remember fondly the lining up of the matchbox cars and the blocks. (my son did not have tantrums either - and I feel his biggest difficulty was sensory issues- so I made his environment be what he could handle> I always recommend the great out doors - the great wide open. I think if we had him forced to be where things were too fast/loud he would have been considered LFA. I still do not like or care too much for the whole distinction between autisms. I think spectrum and being on it is enough of a distinction.
LOL! I make B go outside and play far more than he would like, but I think it's good for him. He has issues sometimes with loud noises, covering his ears and like over the water from the faucet being too loud, for example.
All I know is that I would like to know, so I know what to tell him. I go back and forth. Sometimes, it seems like Semantic-Pragmatic Disorder, and then other times, it's more...spectrummy. For example, today, there was some immediate echolalia. Word for word what a television commercial had said. Then, he'll script on it for days, inserting it either randomly or in context. I can't tell if he's trying the words on for size, so to speak, or if he just likes them and wants to learn them.
*sigh*
I'm sure the doctor will think I'm paranoid, though. *shrug* I am used to that.
I've done (and apparently still do) a fair bit of echolalia, and at about age 12 almost half of what I said was echolalic, though by that point in addition to direct echolalia I would also repeat quotes and stuff from a lot earlier (like in Rain Man how he would repeat things from a while ago).
In fact, no "professional" sort of person has ever noticed and/or acknowledged that I use echolalia, both on a sort of impulse and other times I don't have the capability to string together my own words in their own order, so I repeat something from earlier, usually in context though even when it is in context it can be difficult for others to decipher.
That's probably also because some of the things I repeated echolalically were lines from Poe and Shakespeare (though most of it was from Seinfeld and Invader Zim), so it was considered to be more of a recital than me repeating words. I think it had a lot more to do with stereotypes (since I was older when diagnosed, have been considered high-functioning, and have been good at using the written word).
In fact, one of my first words was "I am Batman", which I would say A LOT when I was little after seeing it on a movie we'd just gotten along with our first VCR. I would also repeat things from Power Rangers.