Aspies For Freedom

Both myself (NT) and my husband (AS) despise dining out with others.  With just our family it is fun!  We usually tend to go to the same places, eat the same things, etc., but still like it.  I always do the ordering, after he whispers to me what he wants.  He really has very little need to talk to anyone, thank goodness!  He would hate it!

I like going to familiar, uncrowded restaurants with my family or close friends... New restaurants or dining out with people I don't know well tends to make me nervous. I don't have social anxiety, but for some reason restaurants can trigger emetophobic panic attacks in me (probably due to being "forced" to eat food). It used to be a lot worse, though, bad enough that I couldn't eat out anywhere without having a panic attack right at the table. I eventually learned when I felt a panic attack coming on to excuse myself to the bathroom to calm myself down, which helped a lot. I thankfully haven't had any serious restaurant anxiety for at least a few years, however.

My husband loves both eating out and us entertaining.  He used to be less certain about eating out but enjoys it now because I will do the 'work'.  i.e. I'll ring up and reserve the table, I'll chose the wine and I'll suggest things to eat.  He normally choses himself but can get a bit overwhelmed if there is lots of choice.  He loves social activity so long as he doesn't have to organise it and the only thing that is a bit odd - but it is actually great for me - is that at home if entertaining he insists on doing all the clearing up, in a certain way and without help.

I suppose some people might not like having to organise it all, but we both get the social life we enjoy.  If he had to do the organising it would not happen as he doesn't like using the phone or making the decisions.  I'm sure some of our friends/business acquaintances think I'm a bossy cow as it is sort of 'expected' that men do some of those things, but neither of us care.  That is other people's problem not ours.

I didnt vote cos i dont know which realy fits. i will eat with a couple of friends pretty much anywhere, i dont like crowds but if im with them i feel safe enough. i dont eat with my parents at all,i eat at diferent times to them and i take all meals to my room. i do go out for a proper "sit down" meal once a year for a christmas do but only because i know i can sit with a group i get on well with.

I'm okay with people I know fairly well and preferably if it's a quiet place.

I don't know how ot answer the poll so I didn't vote.  Sorry.

I like to go to restaurants where my club buddies gather after sport events in order to enjoy their stories and spend time with them.  I don't eat in front of people. Since people make a fuss if you don't eat, I just pretend to eat.  I don't want to be excluded from the group.

I would never go to a restaurant (or any other social-ish occasion) with coworkers for any reason.

I'm a bit more confident about going out and eating with friends or family than I used to be. The only big hurdle is dealing with family type restaurants such as McDonalds when it is very busy or busy food courts in shopping centres. I don't know why the shopping centre designers had to make the food courts so echoey.

I always feel a bit nervous that people are watching me eat, and I'm a slow eater, but other than that, dining out is fun. The food is a cardiac arrest waiting to happen, but it's nice to have a bit of a treat every now and then.

The whole idea that people sit around watching each other shove food into their mouths always creeped me out as a child. It made no more sense to me than everybody chatting away while sitting on a circle of toilets.

I've always had problems eating with other people because there are so many, many, many foods I can't stand -- in many restaurants there is simply nothing I could even consider eating. (Was it natalie that had the amazing list of foods she hated -- the list that included my favorite remark; "I hate water"?)

It seems to create such a problem for others, I just try to avoid the whole situation.

Erich is not as impossibly food-phobic as I am, but we're both most comfortable eating at bland "family" restaurants

The majority of time, the waiter/waitress will ask if you need anything else (refill, dessert, etc).

In my hometown, there are a ton of resturants, but I have not ate at all of them. As for favorites, I perfer McDonalds, because I am familar with the menu and it is easy reconizable with the golden arches.

I seldom eat during the day, just one of my rituals!

I absolutely detest eating out in restaurants!

I have always felt that people were looking at me & became very phobic about it for years, I couldn't even drink a cup of tea as my hand shook so much.

I can do it now, but preferably if the place is fairly informal, I can sit with my back to all the others & usually just to meet my friend.

I don't really like eating in front of people I don't know very well, but it's worse at their house than at a restaurant.

But I really like restaurant food.

Where I come from, that's bait.  I wouldn't swallow sushi or goldfish without getting money up front first.   You are much braver.

Wow now that is an interesting idea.  Instead of a couple boys daring each other to do dangerous things, a couple aspies daring each other to do different things outside of their routine and rituals. That could potentially be useful.