Aspies For Freedom

I heard a very reasonable nice woman tell she wanted to get her spectrum daughter sterile. She feared she would not succeed.

It just left me numb.

We did have a further conversation about contraceptives. I said there were many alternatives to something that drastic. So I kind of blocked the word sterilisation out of the conversation and my conciousness.

But it did come back and it freezes me.

I did not know if I should put this under "treatment in society" or under "genitic issues"

I will talk again with her about it. And as far as I know there is no way she'll get health institutions to sterilise her daughter. It's not done here as far as I know. And as far as she knows aswell. But I do need to adress her over it again. The mere thought is making me sick. And I will state that I'm not the only one thinking like that if necessary.

Thanks for your reactions so far.

Being not alone in being abhorred by this is doing me a lot of good.

What a ***, the mother should be hung.

I've been looking on the internet. As far as I can see forced contraceptive is only allowed if giving birth or being pregnant would be harmful for the mother. If there ar physical conditions why she should not do that. And the woman has an IQ below 60 contraceptives can be given without the consent of the wouldbe mom.

So there is no legal way, as far as I can see it, how she could get her daughter sterile. The health and wellbeing of a possible baby is no legitimate reason to sterilise a girl.

But the mere thought of a mom trying is enough to freeze me. She does not trust an IUD. And her daughter is gorgeous. And is behaving as many teenagers that are stunning. No matter what their IQ is. Flirting.

PDD-NOS with a lower iq, but I don't know how low. When I saw the daughter I was amazed. The mother had talked about a totally different kid IMO. I know people can seem different in functioning than they are. But she had been described to me as an ever blabbing totally unintelligent and irresponsible teenager. I thought she had noteworthy things to say and was not dimwitted. She was not Einstein, but hey, who is. I've never heard my mother in law talk that sensible. (She's MR and has two children because of abuse)

That will give a bang

She sounds like they'd put her in the HFA box, if she is flirting with people. Does she know what her mom's trying to do? Because if I were her, I'd be pretty darn upset.

I think the mother wants to make life certain and secure until her dying day. So she's arranging all kinds of things to make sure her daughter will be OK when the mom will pass away.
But in doing so she sort of forgets that her daughter has a life of her own to live. A life in which she will need help. But not a life that has been structured by her mother to be safe till the grave.

Somehow Structure is becoming a word I'm detesting more and more.

As far as I can see a lower iq is no valid reason to be sterilized so far in my country. When I search the internet I do find hints that it is done in the USA and Australia. But the discussion if a low iq should be a valid reason to prohibit procreation is on. A few years ago a child died because of neglect. She had two slightly mentally disabled parents. This is horrible of course. But most children that die because of neglect or shaken baby syndrome have parents with a normal iq.

When this discussion started in my country there was a man of a sort of 'mentalretard-union' I don't know how to put it in english. He had been to special schools because of his low iq. His wife aswell. They had a few bright kids and raised them loving and caring. The kids were fine. This man was great. He invited people who wanted children and who did have a lower iq to practice in his family. Most girls that came in his family found out they could not handle it and decided not to have kids after this experience. But some found out they loved it and could do it.

The idea that politics or parents or whoever should decide who is to procreate and who not is abhorrent to me. I think its wise to tell teenagers, labelled or not, about contraception. And it is wise to tell girls to think twice before they want a baby. But that is something completely different from deciding to sterilize young women.

The discussion now is if contraception should be forced upon girls with a lower iq and on people who are abusive. One of the arguments used to prohibit contraception is that the genes should not go furter. Now this reason is not seen as valid. But once it is, all kind of people will get restricted in raising children. And autistics might be first in line.

To many people think in terms of epicemics.

She'll be of age (18) this year. I think the girl is safe. When I see the law here. I will talk with the mom again once I see her. The mom knows she'll not succeed in her wishes. But I think she will try. Temporary measures are the best I think too. The IUD with hormones is a good choice IMO; no bad cramps, as can be the case with other IUD's; no ovaries ripening because of the hormones; no developping ovary welcoming tissue in the womb; and not as much hormones in the body as other hormonal contraceptives. And bleeding less every month is a nice bonus.

The girl will be safe. But the attitude of the mom worries me. She won't be the only one thinking like that. And measuring your childs responsibillity for the rest of her life by her conduct at 17 is unfair for allmost all teen-agers.

In the discussions that are going on in my country the pro sterilise ppl tend to point at the USA and Australia as examples. How is the law with you? Does forced sterilization happen? As I said in an earlier post forced sterilization is allmost impossible here. Only when the life of the MR mother would be at risk. I can see that as a reasonable point of view. Allowing pregnancy as a way of suicide would be immoral to me. How are the rules in your countries.

btw. It may be a few weeks before I see the mother again. But I will keep you posted on that.

I've only known a little over 5,000 kids, but I have learned this stunning surprise: teenagers have sex. Good kids, religeous kids, kids from nice families.

Among the things that do not keep kids from having sex:

The church
Hysterical, control-freak mothers
Everything else

The sterilization is absolutely wrong. So the alternatives are birth control or, about nine months and two minutes from now, a baby.

Yes, I don't think teaching abstinence would have much success. Mind you, it wouldn't hurt to give kids some assertiveness lessons so they don't let themselves get pressured into having sex before they feel ready.

Yes! Absolutely! That is a crucial point that really needed to be made. Especially, I think,  for girls. And not just with sex. In my Literature classes, I sneak in a number of short stories and essays that deal with girls being assertive.

Hey, that's great! It really concerns me that for some kids, losing their virginity is seen as some kind of race. It should never be like that but unfortunately, it too often is. It's hard to go against peer pressure, but doing so makes a person stronger so it is really great if they are given the tools to be able to stand up for themselves.