My husband still occasionally questions the AS diagnosis. I stopped questioning it long ago. We were talking about it at lunch today. Here is the conversation: (H is for Husband - K is for Korrigan)
H: How sure are you about the AS Diagnosis?
K: 42%.
H: Really?
K: No, I was kidding with you, I am completely sure of the diagnosis.
H: How?
K: I know, that is enough. (Not to mention the official diagnosis, but anyway)
H: Well, really, you cannot even PROVE my existence, so how can you PROVE I am an Aspie.
K: That is how.
H: What?
K: Only someone who is an Aspie would come up with that argument.
I thought it was funny...
LMAO! Good point Korrigan...
Hahaha, thats ace
You mean this isn't normal discourse?
Well, mebbe not only an aspie, but more likely. You know what sucks? Coming up with something cool and philosophical only to discover that what you thought of is actually named after someone who's been dead for six hundred years.
Also, assigning arbitrary percent values to things is a 87% chance of fun.
Also also XKCD:
i don't get it - i didn't follow... your conversation H and K
That's like how I wrote this nine-page long analysis of my self explaining why I believed I should be referred for diagnosis, and I posted it here, and someone said, "The very fact that you wrote a nine-page analysis of yourself is proof that you're probably an aspie!"
I think we do this sort of thing a lot. >.<
She's saying "you can't even prove my existence" is an Aspie-type argument. I'm new to my self-DX so I'm just guessing here, but I think my NT wife would say I come up with some byzantine, arcane arguments that just leave her throwing up her hands and saying, "Oh I give up!" I think Korrigan's husband was heading down one of those roads and she thought it was funny, now that she recognizes it as one of "our" traits. Of course, as I'm learning to remind myself, I could be wrong.
Yup! It was hysterical.
Yeah not bad. It is good that you can laugh over this. I think trying to treat either of you as broken or wrong is a bad way to go but if you can accept the differences and laugh over those differences you have really done well. I wish in some ways my own relationship with my ex-wife had this insight in our marriage.
Instead the differences helped consume and destroy the marriage.
It has made it much easier, honestly, that my husband is the most accepting person (of me and all of my issues) that I could ever imagine being with. His years of fighting against his parents trying to change him really made him aware that it was a negative cycle, so he did not spread it into his marriage. When you look at someone who sees you with love and total acceptance, how can you not be accepting of them?
Yeah not bad. It is good that you can laugh over this. I think trying to treat either of you as broken or wrong is a bad way to go but if you can accept the differences and laugh over those differences you have really done well. I wish in some ways my own relationship with my ex-wife had this insight in our marriage.
Instead the differences helped consume and destroy the marriage.
It has made it much easier, honestly, that my husband is the most accepting person (of me and all of my issues) that I could ever imagine being with. His years of fighting against his parents trying to change him really made him aware that it was a negative cycle, so he did not spread it into his marriage. When you look at someone who sees you with love and total acceptance, how can you not be accepting of them?
Your husband sounds like mine, Korrigan!
He adores me so completely that why should I care about silly things that my friends think are essential, like random gifts of jewellery (which I rarely wear anyway) flowers etc.? I prefer random gifts of grocery so I don't have to go shopping!
I'd rather have him the way he is; making jokes; helping around the house; doing practical things to help me when I cannot do them for myself.
And he obviously likes me the way I am! (Better in the garage than round the house; far better sense of humour than of fashion; etc.)
It has worked pretty well on the whole over the last 29 years. I am better at DIY, he's better at cooking! I decorate, he shops. We play to each others strengths. I have a good eye for a level bookcase to within a fraction of a degree off vertical or horizontal but I cannot bend and stretch without pain. He can tell if something is more or less either upright or lying down, but is physically super-fit for someone half his age. So I put up shelves, he does the laundry.
It has helped when raising our five children because none of them has any notion of the idea of 'men's' work or 'women's' work!
Your husband sounds like mine, Korrigan!
Actually the similarities between my husband and yours, and your relationship and mine are, well, staggering!
Korrigan falls over in surprise and giggles!
(Maybe I should go to bed - 2 am here!)
We never argued about that.
It allways was clear to both of us, long time before I went to get officially dxed.
You're dialogue makes me think, ....maybe, maybe I'm not aspie, cos I don't argue about it ?
You never need to prove my existence too, you know, I have that magic touch. I only touch her computer and everything goes well; I only touch a glass and someone has to pick up the shards, I only touch her and... Idon't know, does that mean anything?
(Those are the jokes, if you don't laugh about them you won't get any others.)
Oh God, my wife and I just discovered I'm an aspie. Is this the future of my household? Aaaaaaahhhh!
It doesn't have to be, not if both of you agree in it.
