05-22-2008, 06:36 PM
05-22-2008, 10:28 PM
M Wrote:
one of my current special interests is studying about cults, terrorists. I wonder if many cult or terror cell leaders are sociopaths.
I doubt it. I think they just have selective empathy. Think of the Stanford Prison experiment. It is disturbingly easy to dehumanize others. I remember a story of a Auschwitz guard who nursed injured animals through the winter yet sent Jews to the gas chamber without any qualms.
05-22-2008, 10:42 PM
DogBrain Wrote:
There are people who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars more on a horse (that is not going to be used for any potential monetary gain) than they would ever think to donate to charity.
Not giving money to charity and sending people to gas chambers are two different things, but yes I do know that there are misanthropes who hate humans and love animals. I doubt he was one of these.
05-23-2008, 12:34 AM
GuessWho Wrote:
Oh, and trading with Cuba..... American government still sulks over Cuba's government like an ex girlfriend
She shouldn't have put out to the Reds.
05-23-2008, 10:58 PM
skyblue1 Wrote:
pikajedi4 Wrote:
ah. then no, that is not me at all...
"imma nice guy!"
"imma nice guy!"
what s up with the 3 stars and the term activist...has anothr clique been formed here
Yeah the three stars and the term activist seems almost like I am a minion now... and the stars make me feel smaller... just noting
05-23-2008, 11:00 PM
I think dogbrain just likes to use CAPITOL letters and lots of EXCLAMATION points!!!! My son uses them when he is writing ALOT - but he usually is peaking about something he is excited about> I don't think DOgbrain is necessarily mad or mean. (I know I should stay out of it)
05-23-2008, 11:06 PM
M Wrote:
I think that some sociopaths or psychopaths could try to use an aspie to do their bad work for them by fooling them. Once the aspie sees who they are they are not going to trust them anymore.
"When is someone going to start up a charity called 'Cure Psychopathy Now'?" that is funny. just as long as the money only goes to genetic research and developing a prenatal test and not to adults with the disorder or their parents.
"When is someone going to start up a charity called 'Cure Psychopathy Now'?" that is funny. just as long as the money only goes to genetic research and developing a prenatal test and not to adults with the disorder or their parents.
That is scarily not funny - I dare say (as I have no research on hand to back it up right now) that sociopaths are a huge burden on tax-payers and on our GDP becasue of all the people they kill and leave all the orphans - I do think they should be cured. (actually I think that our society should be more careful about creating them)
As far as using an aspie, I think an aspie could see right thru them. My son sure can - he can basicly see an aura (or so it sems to me)
06-17-2008, 09:09 AM
I think one of the key differences, Batman, is that you do appreciate that other people do "have shoes", even if you have difficulty imagining yourself in them. Narcissists, or at least my husband, don't even appreciate that there is any other perspective.
It's hard to describe, but from my own experience, it is somehow more than empathy that is missing. There is a profound lack of any understanding of other people except insofar as they support and maintain the narcisist's worldview, which consists only of themself and their needs.
At the time I left my husband I remember telling a friend that if I'd been made to feel worthless, that would at least have been SOMETHING. I was made to feel as if I was NOTHING, or less than nothing, if that's possible.
It's hard to describe, but from my own experience, it is somehow more than empathy that is missing. There is a profound lack of any understanding of other people except insofar as they support and maintain the narcisist's worldview, which consists only of themself and their needs.
At the time I left my husband I remember telling a friend that if I'd been made to feel worthless, that would at least have been SOMETHING. I was made to feel as if I was NOTHING, or less than nothing, if that's possible.
06-21-2008, 09:57 PM
What about if someone is both. If their childhood experiences and environment led them to need to blame others and not ever take personal responsibility? It makes sense that if one is never really treated with respect, that they would never have any modeling and with perceptual difficulties, they might develop a pretty sick way of dealing with wrongdoing and guilt.
Ergo is one of those people who does both the AS things and the Sociopathic things. He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it. He publicly will admit to things superfically when pressed, but if I do the pressing...(out him) for some act of -
irresponsibility etc. I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets. He said just two days ago to me that he had had a revelation and now believes that all the things that he did to me and our family were really my fault and I forced his hand in everything. Ridiculous as it is clear to the world that I followed him to the ends of the earth and arranged my life around his needs. Could it be that he is feeling guilt and since he cannot process it, he has developed the coping strategy of dumping his negative feelings on the nearest loving person... villifying them and freeing himself from the necessity to atone or change?
he has never followed through on any promise or commitment to self improvement in the entire time I have known him. He just finds reasons to make his problems someone elses problems. Even if it means alienating your wife and chlidren.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager) Is that sociopathic? It seems to fit. He also has become angry at me in the past when I would not go out drinking with him. He said that I never wanted him to have fun and I wanted to control him.
Callous lack of concern.... CREEPY lack of concern. My sister in law was over talking about her abusive husband and she started to cry. Hard. Ergo was in the kitchen not 5 feet away and he just stood there hummin and tried to change the subject by talking about some inane thing he heard on the news. When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????. He's 6'4, I'm 5'8 and he outweighs me by at least 70 or 80 pounds... AND I AM SOBBING IN THE FETAL POSITION!!! (basically saying Why Why Why What am I going to do etc) He now claims that he felt threatened by my emotion... but my emotion was totally appropriate and proportional to the huge betrayal and life shattering implications of that kind of a lie.... He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has. And has usually thrown shame on top of whatever else I was feeling.
I have never been able to voice a concern or show feeling without it being transformed into some way I have betrayed him by making him feel so bad. Even when it has nothing to do with him. Could it be that these are maladaptive coping strategies for someone with AS who was raised in a highly competitive environment where emotions were not talked about? and Shamed??? What do you think????? It could be that Sociopaths are created in this way.
I have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
NEVER has learned from the past. I saw someone on another site compare it to Groundhog Day. No progress. Ever.
Blame and Rationalizations. My life with Ergo.
I thought last sept when I discovered the mountain of debt that he might be sociopathic. It fit perfectly...But you can't do anything about sociopaths. SO when we discovered AS and he registered pretty high, I decided it was the only way I could live with him without immense fear of his lack of visible remorse and his very apparent desire to fix all blame on me, or his job, or his family and to never take responsibility, learn new skills etc. I thought that the DX would give him the freedom to explore real possibilities of working better in the world. Instead he became more and more aggressive and intolerant and jeckyll and hydeish...claiming that He has Asperger's so need to just accept whatever he does and not show any anger and lower my affect during all emotionally charged interactions.
CAN it be BOTH????? or am I just living with a Sociopath with Add or something that shows up diagnostically as AS.
Ergo is one of those people who does both the AS things and the Sociopathic things. He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it. He publicly will admit to things superfically when pressed, but if I do the pressing...(out him) for some act of -
irresponsibility etc. I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets. He said just two days ago to me that he had had a revelation and now believes that all the things that he did to me and our family were really my fault and I forced his hand in everything. Ridiculous as it is clear to the world that I followed him to the ends of the earth and arranged my life around his needs. Could it be that he is feeling guilt and since he cannot process it, he has developed the coping strategy of dumping his negative feelings on the nearest loving person... villifying them and freeing himself from the necessity to atone or change?
he has never followed through on any promise or commitment to self improvement in the entire time I have known him. He just finds reasons to make his problems someone elses problems. Even if it means alienating your wife and chlidren.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager) Is that sociopathic? It seems to fit. He also has become angry at me in the past when I would not go out drinking with him. He said that I never wanted him to have fun and I wanted to control him.
Callous lack of concern.... CREEPY lack of concern. My sister in law was over talking about her abusive husband and she started to cry. Hard. Ergo was in the kitchen not 5 feet away and he just stood there hummin and tried to change the subject by talking about some inane thing he heard on the news. When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????. He's 6'4, I'm 5'8 and he outweighs me by at least 70 or 80 pounds... AND I AM SOBBING IN THE FETAL POSITION!!! (basically saying Why Why Why What am I going to do etc) He now claims that he felt threatened by my emotion... but my emotion was totally appropriate and proportional to the huge betrayal and life shattering implications of that kind of a lie.... He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has. And has usually thrown shame on top of whatever else I was feeling.
I have never been able to voice a concern or show feeling without it being transformed into some way I have betrayed him by making him feel so bad. Even when it has nothing to do with him. Could it be that these are maladaptive coping strategies for someone with AS who was raised in a highly competitive environment where emotions were not talked about? and Shamed??? What do you think????? It could be that Sociopaths are created in this way.
I have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
NEVER has learned from the past. I saw someone on another site compare it to Groundhog Day. No progress. Ever.
Blame and Rationalizations. My life with Ergo.
I thought last sept when I discovered the mountain of debt that he might be sociopathic. It fit perfectly...But you can't do anything about sociopaths. SO when we discovered AS and he registered pretty high, I decided it was the only way I could live with him without immense fear of his lack of visible remorse and his very apparent desire to fix all blame on me, or his job, or his family and to never take responsibility, learn new skills etc. I thought that the DX would give him the freedom to explore real possibilities of working better in the world. Instead he became more and more aggressive and intolerant and jeckyll and hydeish...claiming that He has Asperger's so need to just accept whatever he does and not show any anger and lower my affect during all emotionally charged interactions.
CAN it be BOTH????? or am I just living with a Sociopath with Add or something that shows up diagnostically as AS.
DogBrain Wrote:
Chosen 1 Wrote:
They know they're different.They act "normal". They think and feel different and they hide it.Hmmm.Sounds familiar.
You're just intentionally pretending to be stupid. I've got news for you, it has been my observation that EVERY SINGLE PERSON has done this at one time or another. Hell's bells! You've just describe the typical behavior of ANY cultural minority when in the presence of the dominant culture. Of course, nobody (well, almost nobody) reading this would be dim-witted enough to believe that this sort of behavior is a sign of sociopathy.
One set of criteria include the following:
Callous unconcern for the feelings of others--not inability to figure them out.
Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations--note, ATTITUDE and DISREGARD, not inability to understand or comprehend. VERY DIFFERENT from the spectrum.
Incapacity to experience guilt and to profit from experience, particularly punishment.
Marked proneness to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior bringing the subject into conflict.
[/quote]
06-21-2008, 10:13 PM
Not LIVING as he no longer lives here, but 'living' as in dealing. We are getting a divorce and I am afraid of whatever tattered rug I have left being pulled out from underneath me. He is appearing to be somewhat fair, however, No previous agreements have been kept.. why should that change now.... he might actually believe that he is on the up and up... he has before... but when the thing is done, he may decide again that he doesn't want the consequences. My lawyer is awesome. But I am the one who ultimately has to make the choices. This is why I need to know what people think about the AS vs Sociopath thing. And how should I deal with him? Fluffing his ego and softening everything seems to work. (fancy eggshells) It seems to be the only way to avoid rage and hostility masking as condescention and superiority and contempt. I don't know how long I can keep that up. Not that you all have all the answers, but you are some bright people. hope this is on topic... or at least a valuable contribution to someone else. Thanks for reading it.
jedimom777 Wrote:
What about if someone is both. If their childhood experiences and environment led them to need to blame others and not ever take personal responsibility? It makes sense that if one is never really treated with respect, that they would never have any modeling and with perceptual difficulties, they might develop a pretty sick way of dealing with wrongdoing and guilt.
Ergo is one of those people who does both the AS things and the Sociopathic things. He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it. He publicly will admit to things superfically when pressed, but if I do the pressing...(out him) for some act of -
irresponsibility etc. I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets. He said just two days ago to me that he had had a revelation and now believes that all the things that he did to me and our family were really my fault and I forced his hand in everything. Ridiculous as it is clear to the world that I followed him to the ends of the earth and arranged my life around his needs. Could it be that he is feeling guilt and since he cannot process it, he has developed the coping strategy of dumping his negative feelings on the nearest loving person... villifying them and freeing himself from the necessity to atone or change?
he has never followed through on any promise or commitment to self improvement in the entire time I have known him. He just finds reasons to make his problems someone elses problems. Even if it means alienating your wife and chlidren.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager) Is that sociopathic? It seems to fit. He also has become angry at me in the past when I would not go out drinking with him. He said that I never wanted him to have fun and I wanted to control him.
Callous lack of concern.... CREEPY lack of concern. My sister in law was over talking about her abusive husband and she started to cry. Hard. Ergo was in the kitchen not 5 feet away and he just stood there hummin and tried to change the subject by talking about some inane thing he heard on the news. When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????. He's 6'4, I'm 5'8 and he outweighs me by at least 70 or 80 pounds... AND I AM SOBBING IN THE FETAL POSITION!!! (basically saying Why Why Why What am I going to do etc) He now claims that he felt threatened by my emotion... but my emotion was totally appropriate and proportional to the huge betrayal and life shattering implications of that kind of a lie.... He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has. And has usually thrown shame on top of whatever else I was feeling.
I have never been able to voice a concern or show feeling without it being transformed into some way I have betrayed him by making him feel so bad. Even when it has nothing to do with him. Could it be that these are maladaptive coping strategies for someone with AS who was raised in a highly competitive environment where emotions were not talked about? and Shamed??? What do you think????? It could be that Sociopaths are created in this way.
I have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
NEVER has learned from the past. I saw someone on another site compare it to Groundhog Day. No progress. Ever.
Blame and Rationalizations. My life with Ergo.
I thought last sept when I discovered the mountain of debt that he might be sociopathic. It fit perfectly...But you can't do anything about sociopaths. SO when we discovered AS and he registered pretty high, I decided it was the only way I could live with him without immense fear of his lack of visible remorse and his very apparent desire to fix all blame on me, or his job, or his family and to never take responsibility, learn new skills etc. I thought that the DX would give him the freedom to explore real possibilities of working better in the world. Instead he became more and more aggressive and intolerant and jeckyll and hydeish...claiming that He has Asperger's so need to just accept whatever he does and not show any anger and lower my affect during all emotionally charged interactions.
CAN it be BOTH????? or am I just living with a Sociopath with Add or something that shows up diagnostically as AS.
Ergo is one of those people who does both the AS things and the Sociopathic things. He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it. He publicly will admit to things superfically when pressed, but if I do the pressing...(out him) for some act of -
irresponsibility etc. I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets. He said just two days ago to me that he had had a revelation and now believes that all the things that he did to me and our family were really my fault and I forced his hand in everything. Ridiculous as it is clear to the world that I followed him to the ends of the earth and arranged my life around his needs. Could it be that he is feeling guilt and since he cannot process it, he has developed the coping strategy of dumping his negative feelings on the nearest loving person... villifying them and freeing himself from the necessity to atone or change?
he has never followed through on any promise or commitment to self improvement in the entire time I have known him. He just finds reasons to make his problems someone elses problems. Even if it means alienating your wife and chlidren.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager) Is that sociopathic? It seems to fit. He also has become angry at me in the past when I would not go out drinking with him. He said that I never wanted him to have fun and I wanted to control him.
Callous lack of concern.... CREEPY lack of concern. My sister in law was over talking about her abusive husband and she started to cry. Hard. Ergo was in the kitchen not 5 feet away and he just stood there hummin and tried to change the subject by talking about some inane thing he heard on the news. When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????. He's 6'4, I'm 5'8 and he outweighs me by at least 70 or 80 pounds... AND I AM SOBBING IN THE FETAL POSITION!!! (basically saying Why Why Why What am I going to do etc) He now claims that he felt threatened by my emotion... but my emotion was totally appropriate and proportional to the huge betrayal and life shattering implications of that kind of a lie.... He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has. And has usually thrown shame on top of whatever else I was feeling.
I have never been able to voice a concern or show feeling without it being transformed into some way I have betrayed him by making him feel so bad. Even when it has nothing to do with him. Could it be that these are maladaptive coping strategies for someone with AS who was raised in a highly competitive environment where emotions were not talked about? and Shamed??? What do you think????? It could be that Sociopaths are created in this way.
I have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
NEVER has learned from the past. I saw someone on another site compare it to Groundhog Day. No progress. Ever.
Blame and Rationalizations. My life with Ergo.
I thought last sept when I discovered the mountain of debt that he might be sociopathic. It fit perfectly...But you can't do anything about sociopaths. SO when we discovered AS and he registered pretty high, I decided it was the only way I could live with him without immense fear of his lack of visible remorse and his very apparent desire to fix all blame on me, or his job, or his family and to never take responsibility, learn new skills etc. I thought that the DX would give him the freedom to explore real possibilities of working better in the world. Instead he became more and more aggressive and intolerant and jeckyll and hydeish...claiming that He has Asperger's so need to just accept whatever he does and not show any anger and lower my affect during all emotionally charged interactions.
CAN it be BOTH????? or am I just living with a Sociopath with Add or something that shows up diagnostically as AS.
DogBrain Wrote:
Chosen 1 Wrote:
They know they're different.They act "normal". They think and feel different and they hide it.Hmmm.Sounds familiar.
You're just intentionally pretending to be stupid. I've got news for you, it has been my observation that EVERY SINGLE PERSON has done this at one time or another. Hell's bells! You've just describe the typical behavior of ANY cultural minority when in the presence of the dominant culture. Of course, nobody (well, almost nobody) reading this would be dim-witted enough to believe that this sort of behavior is a sign of sociopathy.
One set of criteria include the following:
Callous unconcern for the feelings of others--not inability to figure them out.
Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations--note, ATTITUDE and DISREGARD, not inability to understand or comprehend. VERY DIFFERENT from the spectrum.
Incapacity to experience guilt and to profit from experience, particularly punishment.
Marked proneness to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior bringing the subject into conflict.
[/quote]
06-21-2008, 10:14 PM
Exactly. As usual. Nail on the head Marcia.
Marcia Wrote:
I think one of the key differences, Batman, is that you do appreciate that other people do "have shoes", even if you have difficulty imagining yourself in them. Narcissists, or at least my husband, don't even appreciate that there is any other perspective.
It's hard to describe, but from my own experience, it is somehow more than empathy that is missing. There is a profound lack of any understanding of other people except insofar as they support and maintain the narcisist's worldview, which consists only of themself and their needs.
At the time I left my husband I remember telling a friend that if I'd been made to feel worthless, that would at least have been SOMETHING. I was made to feel as if I was NOTHING, or less than nothing, if that's possible.
It's hard to describe, but from my own experience, it is somehow more than empathy that is missing. There is a profound lack of any understanding of other people except insofar as they support and maintain the narcisist's worldview, which consists only of themself and their needs.
At the time I left my husband I remember telling a friend that if I'd been made to feel worthless, that would at least have been SOMETHING. I was made to feel as if I was NOTHING, or less than nothing, if that's possible.
06-21-2008, 11:04 PM
Holy ***.
micgrace Wrote:
I have copied parts of the above post. I believe this male person mentioned is a criminal physcopath not a sociopath.
CASE IN POINT QUOTES:
He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it.
I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets.
When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????.
He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has
NEVER has learned from the past.
have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager)
I have a post somewhere else on criminal physcopaths and the damage they do and how to identify them. This is almost textbook.
CASE IN POINT QUOTES:
He has never taken responsibility for anything he has done without qualifying it, minimizing it or deflecting it.
I am in SERIOUS trouble when we get home. He has used this tactic as leverage for me to keep his secrets.
When I found out about the money thing, I felt so betrayed that I ran to my room sobbing curled up in the fetal position on my bed and he stormed in and asked if he was in danger and if I was going to hurt HIM????.
He had NO COMPASSION and in the moment NEVER has
NEVER has learned from the past.
have never seen him feel guilty in any traditional sense. I have seen him try to cover things up so the wrong doesn't come to light. If it does, he brilliantly laughs it off or acts artificially humble and gets very mad at whoever brought it out when we are alone. But I have never seen meaningful and genuine regret and I have never seen him stick with anything long enough to effect change. He quits every program (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, self monitoring etc) long before any effects could possibly be seen.
That disregard for social norms.... He told me in what I call a moment of clarity that once he acquires something... on credit, through mutual arrangement or by negotiation, once he is in posession of whatever it is, he feels entitled to it and doesn't think he should have to "pay" for it. To the tune of a wholly unnurtured marriage (Paid for it, no more work need be done) to $450,000 in undisclosed debt (allegedly to avoid being found out to be a bad money manager)
I have a post somewhere else on criminal physcopaths and the damage they do and how to identify them. This is almost textbook.
06-22-2008, 10:42 PM
How can I report it if there are no 'physical' threats and the only one he stole from is me???? There are plenty of people who believe me about the situation now... because I have been gathering evidence for awhile. I kicked him out and he has a condo. I still will probably give up the house because he attached all the debt to it by borrowing from a client. He is a corporate attorney with an incredible way with words. I think he is okay for now as far as safety is concerned... he thinks of his condo as his new "bachelor pad and beaver trap" (his exact words) I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and it is hard to anticipate how that will happen.
micgrace Wrote:
That I'm trying to skirt around. Anything could happen (and does unfortunately). The best suggestion is to move house fast (just take what you need, cut accounts anything) and provide no contact information (or contact the physcopath) and that includes to relatives no matter how tempting (of course you can phone them). And immediately report to the police the person concerned without delay. And actively oppose bail. And provide a victim statement since you are the victim.
Very, very dangerous situation. Take care.
Very, very dangerous situation. Take care.
06-29-2008, 02:16 AM
skyblue1 Wrote:
I found out that my family considered me to be sociopathic...an uncle one day said that the family was so relieved that I did not turn out to be a serial killer like others of my kind.
Needless to say I was shocked by what he said .But at that moment I realized why my family avoided me and would not let their children be around me. Not that I was in to being around them anyway .
Their opinion of me and some other happenings in my life was what caused me to seek professional help. My Dx.as an Aspie was an eyeopener and a relief . I knew I wasnt a psycho/sociopath and now I knew why. As has been already stated in this thread there are a hell of alot of similarities.
By the way other than letting my brother know I have never told anyone else in the family about my Dx. I didnt want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that I was different ,and that they were right.but they just had the wrong disorder.
Needless to say I was shocked by what he said .But at that moment I realized why my family avoided me and would not let their children be around me. Not that I was in to being around them anyway .
Their opinion of me and some other happenings in my life was what caused me to seek professional help. My Dx.as an Aspie was an eyeopener and a relief . I knew I wasnt a psycho/sociopath and now I knew why. As has been already stated in this thread there are a hell of alot of similarities.
By the way other than letting my brother know I have never told anyone else in the family about my Dx. I didnt want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that I was different ,and that they were right.but they just had the wrong disorder.
Like others of your kind? Oh my, I am so sorry. If my husband's family knew about his diagnosis I would expect the same kind of thing from them.
We have built a "family" of friends. I hope that you have been able/will be able to do the same.
06-29-2008, 08:31 PM
I have seen this up close and personal. It is a sick advantage to be able to not feel your damage.
micgrace Wrote:
Siemen I'm writing from my own personal experience and not from studies by others. There could be quite a divergence from the overall "norms". I had the very unwelcome opportunity to study a psychopath up close and personal. these are my observations.
Make no mistake this one really thinks whatever he says is real and shows no emotion that a normal person or an aspies for that matter may show when telling a monster lie even when caught out.
Make no mistake this one really thinks whatever he says is real and shows no emotion that a normal person or an aspies for that matter may show when telling a monster lie even when caught out.