Aspies For Freedom

Excited in a good way I think but yeah, I do worry for his teeth! He likes singing but that's one of the worst things for getting him grinding away (as he sings!).

He starts nursery this autumn and hoefully they'll have some appropriate support ready for him. Up to now he's been my baby and the pre-verbal state has been a distant concern and I've just enjoyed him for the funny and happy little boy that he is but, without wishing to be melodramatic, he's already lost his dad (in an accident when he was 3 months old) and Elli's life might not always include me so I feel a need to help him adapt as best he can to the rest of the world (and I hope that the rest of the world can adapt to him) BUT I'm really wary of pushing him too hard or in the wrong direction.

This really is helpful and I'd like to thank you all again for your thoughts

janine

Thanks Atypical (and everybody else), you're right of course and he is fantastic - of my four children, if I were permitted to have favourites, then he might be the one! That's the thing, the thought of him having to enter the world (albeit of nursery school), means that I start panicking for him to "catch up" and not so much enjoying him. I will bear all that's been said in mind. If only he'd answer yes/no questions but I guess it'll come, I suppose my guesswork must satisfy him up to now!

janine

I'm very interested by that thing you said about the time of day making a difference. My son seems far more interested in interaction and using words in the afternoon - I'm not a morning person myself but this goes beyond that (lol)!

I like spectrum too - seems ridiculous trying to chop it all up. I'm only just starting to understand the condition (mode of being?) but spectrum makes more sense to me.

janine

Sorry, have to vent a little

Returned to the paediatrician today after 3 and a bit months. She intends to see my son again in November (by which time he will be almost three and a half) at an autism clinic and anticipates diagnosing him then as having ASD. That's good, I'm pleased it seems to have been easy getting a diagnosis I just hope that once he's been diagnosed the people who work with him have a bit more of a clue than the paed! Her relentless negativism was depressing. Elli is very easy-going, God knows how more reactive kids cope with her. She acknowledged that she'd been pushing him hard to co-operate with her non-verbal cues (never mind that he's pretty much as likely to respond to a verbal cue as to any) and the poor little thing was sitting on the chair protesting "Stuck" which translated from the Ellish means "Help, get me past / through / away from this thing." He did a puzzle as required so she took it apart for him to re-perform the trick and then turned her nose up because he'd lost interest. When I tried to suggest that he was capable of more than he was showing she tried to make it as though I wanted to resist the implication that he was ASD so I explained that I absolutely understand ASD and I agree that the description seems to fit Elli - I've no problem with ASD (just a problem with her).

Anyway, I hope it's all good from here

janine

I think that once she's made a diagnosis that's more or less the end of her involvement thank goodness! Elli will be assessed and then helped (in theory at least) by a multi-disciplinary team including his language therapist who is sweet at least and somewhat helpful. Luckily, I don't think the UK is too curebie on the whole, even if a doctor is a bit stupid as regards the manifestations of an ASD they don't usually advocate any awful therapy to try and "correct the wrongness" - I'd run like the wind if they did!

janine

Re what you said about the stims (ie flapping during interaction), I'd be inclined to look on that as a positive.

My daughter (now 7) always flaps when she finds something pleasantly stimulating (often accompanied by rocking from foot to foot), for instance at the theatre, or when something on TV is particularly captivating. I can usually rate how much she enjoys something by the "flap quota". The tooth grinding is probably a bit worrying though.

We have a wild head-rubbing stim, but that one is always associated with tiredness, stress or needing the toilet. Does your son have a "stress stim"?

My girl had a little aspie boy pal when she was nearly 3, he was 4 yrs old and non-verbal. He was  very intelligent and good at making himself understood without words. He was introduced to sign language and took to it like a duck to water.

As a primary teacher I taught a little African boy of 7 who was very bright and VERY talkative, his Mum told me that he had not spoken his first word ("Mama") until he was nearly 6.

So I suspect your lad will have plenty to say eventually, but a definite thumbs up to Ocampo, about constantly talking to him. My own girl was not non-verbal, but her speech patterns developed rather "differently" , very early vocabulary but everything was a "statement" ....her first sentence was "banana like a tunnel" followed by "hairbrush like a tree". No questions, no requests, and everything was about shapes and patterns.

I may be wrong, but I believe that speech delay is more common with ASD boys than ASD girls, though nearly all ASD children do exhibit certain indicators on speech development.

All this aside, your son sounds like a great kid, and though there'll be some challenges posed by ASD, there'll also be loads of fun and happiness together. Dont let any negative "health workers" get you down, some of them do seem to view positivity as denial.

Of course in some cultures like Italian, waving ones hands about when talking (or in my case, stimming) is the norm. Yes and I am married to an Italian woman.

The more agitated the conversation, more hand waving so what comes naturally to me is actually part of another culture. But not the English one.

Well, this morning Elli was officially diagnosed (ASD). The education co-ordinator is lovely and seemed to understand Elli very well almost instantly although it was slightly spooky the way she referrred to "our children" (not sure if that was children under her auspices, it sounded more like ASD children in general, her own little tribe). I may be naive because you do hear a lot of horror stories about the standard of provision in schools here (UK) but she did make me feel hopeful about the way things will go for him when he starts nursery in a couple of months.

His stress stim is chewing things and also the teeth grinding to some extent but he has also been known to do that when happy. Recently he's not been doing it much at all and I'm very pleased at its absence! Mostly tho' it's jumping up and down and flapping when happy. I use my hands a lot when I talk and it does cause comment - I often overlook it but people can be very narrow minded.

janine