I have been getting calls pretty much on a daily basis from his school, or called out into the by his daycare teachers. Today I got called out into the hall AND I got a call from the school principal. Yesterday, one of my son's classmates in daycare told on him because he was killing caterpillars outside. The other boy was apparently upset about this. I guess my son is the only child who mushes bugs.
Today's call from the principal was because my son kept on fooling around in class and disrupting the other students. I don't know what to do about this. He has so much trouble staying focused and sitting still.
Then..today when I picked him up from daycare another boy had told on my son because he didn't want to play with him. My son sometimes just wants to be alone and this boy will just follow my son around. I a getting exhausted from the daily complaints.
*Edit on the title of my thread - How often do you get calls from your child's teachers, because of something your son/daughter is doing?
I have just the opposite. No one tells me anything. My daughter tells me a bunch after we pick her up, but no one reports back with much of anything. She is just another face in the crowd.
Did you always get these calls, or did they begin after you started making noise that they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing for your son?
If the latter, I would say that they are either putting you on the defensive and/or they are setting your son up as a troublemaker. The motivation for these being so they can "demonstrate" that they are doing the best they can with an obviously hard-to-handle child and his parent. In other words, they would be trying to make you and your son look like the problem.
This is just my opinion, of course, albeit an opinion based on the same thing having happened to my son in 1st grade.
Did you always get these calls, or did they begin after you started making noise that they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing for your son?
If the latter, I would say that they are either putting you on the defensive and/or they are setting your son up as a troublemaker. The motivation for these being so they can "demonstrate" that they are doing the best they can with an obviously hard-to-handle child and his parent. In other words, they would be trying to make you and your son look like the problem.
This is just my opinion, of course, albeit an opinion based on the same thing having happened to my son in 1st grade.
Hmm..good question. As far as the daycare is concerned, the 'talks' have been happening a lot just this year. In fact any behavioral issues in school seem to have popped up this year as well. My son has always had difficulty paying attention etc..but I think he has really had it with his teacher this year so it makes it even harder. I also have noticed his hyperactivity has really sky-rocketed, even at home.
I very rarely get calls from my son's school - only if he's sick usually. I've had a couple of calls from the Assistant Head in relation to how they're dealing with the head-banging, and they were very positive calls to keep me informed about what was happening.
Unlike Korrigan's daughter, my son tells me very little about what goes on at school, so I'd actually appreciate a bit more feed-back.
Hmm..good question. As far as the daycare is concerned, the 'talks' have been happening a lot just this year. In fact any behavioral issues in school seem to have popped up this year as well. My son has always had difficulty paying attention etc..but I think he has really had it with his teacher this year so it makes it even harder. I also have noticed his hyperactivity has really sky-rocketed, even at home.
Are you also close to the end of the school year Kattoo13?
Can you get in contact with someone more senior, like the local education authority or the regulatory board for daycare facilities?
The staff at the daycare facility seem to be giving you a hard time purely because your son is different - and this thing about him being followed around by a boy he had told he didn't want to play with is ridiculous. The boy shouldn't be following him around (in adults this would be considered harrassment) and should respect his desire for alone time.
I think the best thing might be to look for other daycare facilities and get some kind of advocate from a local autism organisation involved - it is interesting how once an impartial third party is involved moody teachers suddenly modify their behaviour!
As for the hyperactivity - what might help is seeing if you can identify any triggers for this.
It could just be a phase though - throughout my childhood I went through hyperactive phases (sometimes for a few years at a time) which led to my Dad saying he would take me for diagnostic assessment for ADHD.
Did you always get these calls, or did they begin after you started making noise that they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing for your son?
If the latter, I would say that they are either putting you on the defensive and/or they are setting your son up as a troublemaker. The motivation for these being so they can "demonstrate" that they are doing the best they can with an obviously hard-to-handle child and his parent. In other words, they would be trying to make you and your son look like the problem.
This is just my opinion, of course, albeit an opinion based on the same thing having happened to my son in 1st grade.
Exactly - if you just started communicating to them in writing - or wrote a note - then all of a sudden they will come at you....
practice your acting skills- be the sleeping giant.
Of course, this is the year when things get more complicated... your 9 year old is in daycare? or after care? daycare people aren't as well trained as teachers - and aren't paid as much - and by the time kids are about 8 or 9 they really stop supervising the kids - for some ridiculous reason - and this is what changes things and makes school life more complex for your kid - the adults let things get too far - they are not proactive they are reactive, instead of staving off things before they turn into the talk of the playground, (like the first bug gets squished a n adult whispers " hey don't do that, the girsl get grossed out okay?" and that is all... (common sense is not common)After the fact, (any little tiny thing) other kids go thru them too, but they add up and then your kid feels or notices they are being looked at differently etc., and does not have the skills or support from an adult to see his way clear - very stressful after a while and the outcast years are coming - other kids get weird in the next couple of years... it is a vicious cycle - that has to be stopped sooner than later.
Hmm..good question. As far as the daycare is concerned, the 'talks' have been happening a lot just this year. In fact any behavioral issues in school seem to have popped up this year as well. My son has always had difficulty paying attention etc..but I think he has really had it with his teacher this year so it makes it even harder. I also have noticed his hyperactivity has really sky-rocketed, even at home.
Are you also close to the end of the school year Kattoo13?
yes....finally. less than a month to go. something positive finally happened, well at least a positive step. i had been pushing for an aide all year. his school said he didn't need it, instead they pulled him out for small group help. well the teacher of the small group and i talked. she said things weren't working out in the small group because my son and this other boy kept feeding off of each other..playing around etc. so..she said instead of the 3 hours of extra help he gets in small group, she wanted to have him back in the mainstream classroom but she would actuallys it next to him (like an aide) and help him. i'm thinking this will always work in our favor in the future, where i'm sure he'll need an aide more than 3 hours a week.
Of course, this is the year when things get more complicated... your 9 year old is in daycare? or after care? daycare people aren't as well trained as teachers - and aren't paid as much - and by the time kids are about 8 or 9 they really stop supervising the kids
my son is in daycare, before and after school. i have enrolled him in a new daycare and he will start in august. my friend used to have her son where my son is now. she pulled him out and put him in the new daycare i am putting my son in. i checked it out and it looks great. i wish i could put him in sooner, but the summer program is soooo $$$.
and yes, the daycare teachers aren't trained as much as teachers. compared to my son's school teacher now, that's not saying too much...i had a meeting with his daycare teachers, while the daycare director was present. my son was also there. i wanted everybody to know our concerns and what i felt needed to change. i don't let things slide..
Can you get in contact with someone more senior, like the local education authority or the regulatory board for daycare facilities?
The staff at the daycare facility seem to be giving you a hard time purely because your son is different - and this thing about him being followed around by a boy he had told he didn't want to play with is ridiculous. The boy shouldn't be following him around (in adults this would be considered harrassment) and should respect his desire for alone time.
yes..i spoke with the daycare director to express my dismay. i have also spoken with his teachers about the whole following around bit. they understand now and try to intervene when they see it happening. my son gets to the point where he yells at the other boy, because he is so frustrated by the following. so then the other boy tells the daycare teachers and his mom. it's quite annoying that i have to keep explaining my son's point of view.
I think the best thing might be to look for other daycare facilities and get some kind of advocate from a local autism organisation involved - it is interesting how once an impartial third party is involved moody teachers suddenly modify their behaviour!
yup..i already enrolled him in a new daycare 