Aspies For Freedom

Dispair

The cold rain falls outside the window
A chill breze swirls about me
like the writhing of souls in torment
The sky is ckoked by darkness
Dark and grey blocking out the sunlight
A shroud of dispair falls over me
My heart is gripped in a vice
A hollow emptieness within my soul
where has the light gone?

Cold winds howl over barren hills
The debris of past days swept along by
Cold winds that howl over barren hills
Crows fly overhead on velvet wings
crying out with mocking voices
What i'd give to have their wings
and see the things they see
But here i stand chained to the earth
Chained by my human form

Dark flames of sorrow consume my soul
Nothing can extinguish them
the searing agony of my dispair
brings me to my knees
and I cry out in anguish
Gipped by sorrow
I claw at the walls of my prison
Tearing my fingers to ribbons
untill the blood flows freely

Here i lay, a  pitiful Ruin
Cowering in the face of my dispair
It rises from the mist a colosal shadow
Darkening the world around me
The Velvet blackness starts to swallow me
Red eyes stare out of the sygian darkness
boring into my soul and tearing it apart
The songmy anguish echoes into the void
and is heard by none save dispair

Thunder rumbles across the heavens
Deafening me with its might
lighting stabs down from the sky
Scorching the earth as it strikes
The earth shudders and is torn usunder
Night falls at the onset of my sorrow
And i Stare into the abyssal pit
Seeking the light that has now vanished

You mite want to envest in a speling ckecker.

Other than that, this is an excellent exercise in catharsis and a very generic but okay poem.  Nice imagery but at the same time a crushing vice of cliché makes my soul writhe as the cold winds howl over barren hills.  Did you mean to write 'cold winds howl over barren hills' twice?

As for how you could improve it, try expressing your despair in a less conventional way; one that doesn't scream 'angsty teenage poetry' quite so loudly.  For example write about a setting normally considered neutral, or even happy, in a way that makes it seem bleak and miserable.

Dispair

The cold rain falls outside the window
A chill breze swirls about me
like the writhing of souls in torment
The sky is ckoked by darkness
Dark and grey blocking out the sunlight
A shroud of dispair falls over me
My heart is gripped in a vice
A hollow emptieness within my soul
where has the light gone?

The debris of past days swept along by
Cold winds that howl over barren hills
Crows fly overhead on velvet wings
crying out with mocking voices
What i'd give to have their wings
and see the things they see
But here i stand chained to the earth
Chained by my human form

Dark flames of sorrow consume my soul
Nothing can extinguish them
the searing agony of my dispair
brings me to my knees
and I cry out in anguish
Gipped by sorrow
I claw at the walls of my prison
Tearing my fingers to ribbons
untill the blood flows freely

Here i lay, a  pitiful Ruin
Cowering in the face of my dispair
It rises from the mist a colosal shadow
Darkening the world around me
The Velvet blackness starts to swallow me
Red eyes stare out of the sygian darkness
boring into my soul and tearing it apart
The songmy anguish echoes into the void
and is heard by none save dispair

Thunder rumbles across the heavens
Deafening me with its might
lighting stabs down from the sky
Scorching the earth as it strikes
The earth shudders and is torn usunder
Night falls at the onset of my sorrow
And i Stare into the abyssal pit
Seeking the light that has now vanished

I thought it was good, too. As I have dyslexia as well, I didn't notice many of the things Alias Pseudonym pointed out, as I automatically correct for them.

Does writing come easy for you (except for the dispair, of course)? Do you have to struggle to put something like this together? I often know what I want to say, but have enormous difficulty articulating it.

Very nice work. I look forward to reading more.

It's good to have you on AFF.
Excellent poem...lots of nice imagery.