I married and no I didn't take his name. Nor did he take my name. We were happy with the ones we already had. :-)
I know things have been a bit twitchy recently, to say the least, but this is directly relevant to this thread and it's an opportunity for the original poster to expand upon the reason for her asking the question in the first place.
If you wish to avoid it, or don't want to contribute further then....that's your choice. I'm interested, and having been married twice, divorced once and likely to be divorced again I feel it's pretty relevant to me!
It turns the thread from a general survey of members on current attitudes to a matter that is barely a question to most of us these days, into an arena for the propogation of a feud. If the OP had given as many clues that they were inherently racist in their thinking, I'd still be trying to sideline her opportunity to publish hate-based material.
I'd be doing the same if it were a misogynist who'd posted - not that you really meet any of those anywhere, it's never been a popular position (unless, like the OP, you choose to redefine it to mean 'a man who doesn't accept the misandrist politics I promulgate').
Thank you for your measured response, Louise - I do, however, think it has been worthwhile to hear people's take on the matter now, for them...we've had some interesting anecdotes about names. It's just that I'd rather that, if we can't live in the now, we at least look forward, positively, to the future, rather than digging up contentious interpretations of history that presume (and contribute to) a divide between people based only on an accident of birth.
If I got married I would not want to take my husband's name. Mainly because there is a lot of history behind my last name that I am proud of and think is very interesting (we've lived here since the early 1800s)... A lot of stuff around here is named after my ancestors. Some other women in my family have decided not to take their husband's names either.
While I really don't care what people decide to do when they get married, I do think the expectation that a woman should take her husband's name is old-fashioned and intrinsically sexist.
If I was to do that I'd expect my husband to do it as well (that is, we would both use the hyphenated name and the children would have it as well). As far as which name would come first, that wouldn't matter to me too much... I guess they would just go in the order that sounded best.
What I find most amusing is when the most ardent feminists are getting married, they will tell you they are not taking their husband's surname. Then there is always some degrading wedding tradition during or following the ceremony. During the ceremony a male relative usually accompanies the bride down to meet the groom and is "given away" by him. After the ceremony there is a ritual involving the groom removing a piece of the bride's underwear and throwing it to "eligible men" to provide an omen of good luck for their finding a spouse. The bride is supposed to throw a bouquet of flowers at a group of "young eligible women" to provide an omen of good luck for their finding a spouse. Other cultural rituals involve cutting the cake (symbol of bride's virginity), throwing old shoes, people throwing rice (to wish them fertility but really kills birds) or other objects.
None of this trash is Christian by the way. It is "traditional".
A male relative does not have to give the woman to Jesus Christ when she gets baptized. She does that HERSELF, thank you.
So Christianity believes in the woman's right to choose to become a Christian, and that also applies when she gets married. She does not need her daddy.
And if she was not a virgin before being saved, and if she got saved, she is a new creature in Jesus Christ..... that makes her a virgin wouldn't you say?
You don't need luck or superstition when you have Jesus. But I guess during the Middle Ages we lost sight of Jesus.
I was at a wedding in 1994. They had already done the justice of the peace. They exchanged vows on their own and then had a party. Socially, amongst us, she hyphenated her name, but offically, she retained her maiden name, she had done too much under her maiden name to simply drop it for his name.
How is this bumper sticker: I found Jesus, He had been following me all my life
Forgive me for suggesting but I think the knife is a phallic object that does irreparable harm to the cake when it cuts the cake. Think breaking of hymen during sex. In the old days it used to be a big deal to break the membrane and draw blood, proof of virginity. I think in the Koran a midwife broke Mary's hymen as a testament to her having been pregnant as a virgin. In Spanish (4?) class there was a literature story of a woman who had not "broken" on her wedding night, was refused and disgraced by her husband, he literally threw her like trash at her kinfolk, and her brothers went to kill the man who had premarital relations with her (honor being quite important in the Spanish ladies and gentlemanry culture of centuries old) (all my Spanish teachers were women by the way, one was American-blond, one Irish, one, my college professor, Austrian with a German accent)
Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Let's not
Shrimp on the Barbie because Dumb and Dumber- he couldn't tell the difference between Austria and Australia
I like the way he nonplussed her-- "Let's not" as she is getting out of cab
Louise, are you going to take your husband's name when you marry him?
Louise, are you going to take your husband's name when you marry him?
Did I miss something? Louise said:
"its going to be a gay wedding!"
I'm confused too:
Hmmmmmm. I am getting worried about all the other things I have to think about now. I thought fixing the vows, not taking his name and not being given away would get rid of all the ownership of the bride things.
Louise, are you going to take your husband's name when you marry him?
If I marry a man I will not take his name, but that is currently unlikely.
I just want to know why it took you so long to "come out" so to speak. There was a Gay and Aspie thread that's very welcoming to the LGBT crowd among us, I didn't see you there.
You were off talking about how retarded people should be treated like lower animals.
I do wonder if your "hidden" shame about your sexual orientation is behind some of your incredibly cruel statements.
I do not believe I am intelligent. I am more intelligent than some people and less intelligent than others. I don't think my position on that scale qualifies me as "intelligent", so no I don't expect you to believe that I am.
If the best humility you can muster is that some Oxonians are more gifted than you, and in comparison to them you are "pathetic", I fear for your well-being.
The rest of the time I hear you mention your worth as being much greater than someone who takes out trash for a living.
There must be something amiss here.