Aspies For Freedom

M, your thread just went on a tangent!  

(parent/wife)

WTF are you talking about? I am a parent and I posted a thread because I was honestly wanted to know if anybody else was in the same boat.  You responded with a what I would consider to be a rude reply.  I didn't say that though...I just disagreed with you and went on to respond to what YOU had to say. I didn't back track to say I "meant to ask this", I just clarified it, because you obviously couldn't understand what I wrote.  

I personally have never complained about my son being on the spectrum (I can't speak for other parents).  If you have a problem with people asking "stupid" questions (or what you feel to be stupid), then don't bother responding with your idiotic replies.  It's really just that simple.

I believe the complaint was about Kattoo13's thread regarding Aspies being hypocondriacs (I am sure I am spelling that wrong.)  She had a question about her son, and I think it was misinterpreted.  

It was definitely misinterpreted since "M" didn't bother to read/or couldn't understand my explanation in the beginning.  

Bottom line is this is a forum where people are allowed to post what they want (within reason).  People (not just parents) should be encouraged to ask questions or even vent if they need to.  This is supposed to be a support system.  I guess it just makes some people feel better about themselves, when they put other people down.  It's kind of sad if you ask me.

This is a link to my thread.  The answers were informative and answered my question (unlike M's response).

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthre...?tid=12940

Why do you care so much?  I wouldn't waste my time sending a PM to a nitwit who wasn't bright enough to understand a thread I posted (not my problem).  There are many other people on here who answer with knowledgeable replies.

M,

Do not send me personal messages (like the one below), because you can't handle the fact that I put you in your place.  In addition, I don't need you dictating to me where I should post my threads.  I posted my thread in the "General" section, because my question was not only directed towards parents.  Other people understood what I was asking, so your claim that you are knowledgeable is up for debate.  If you don't like what I (or other people have to say), then get out of the thread.  Don't post pointless threads or send PM's to people, because you don't approve of what people are posting.  Period.  Get it? Got it? Good.
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"Stop making personal insults to me.   You have insulted me a few times.  I am neither ignorant nor unknowledgeable.  

Well maybe I didn't understand your question about hypoch ondriacs because you did not make it very clear what you were asking.  I did not intend to offend you but you took offense.  

There is a parent's section on this forum and maybe that would be more suitable for some of your questions concerning your child."

1) I'm responding as a HUMAN, not an "NT".  I didn't know "M" was an Aspie (if he/she) is.  Even so, I could care less.  Rude people are rude people, period. I had another person PM me that they had gotten rude replies from M as well, so it seems to be a pattern.  

2) My son is very polite, despite his social skills.  

3) This conversation doesn't concern you, so don't try and be the mediator.  I can't stand it when people act like a jackass and then come back (once they have been put in their place), and try to act like that wasn't their intention in the first place.

4) This whole thread (even though it didn't mention me specifically), was created because M has a problem with people posting threads he/she thinks are pointless.  Sounds like a personal problem to me.

5) I am not "throwing my weight around" or "bullying" anybody.  I am a very blunt person.  The only people that seem to have a problem with it are you and M.  There weren't any issues until M responded ever so rudely to my thread and then decided to post up this thread to complain.  It seems like you should be directing your concerns towards somebody else...

Can't we all just sit down and have some Ben n Jerrys, people? Phish Food makes everything ok.

Just to come "out of the closet" I was the person who sent a PM to Kattoo13 about M.  I said that I had a hard time with M when I first started here because of a particularly rude post M placed on one of my very first threads here.  

Here was my text:
This is my first post, I am not sure I am placing it in the right spot, and hope for your understanding.

Hm, this may be controversial, and to start, I am very new to this whole Asperger's thing.  My husband's personality is like a laundry list of Aspie behaviors.  We just started learning about this 2 weeks ago.  We have been married for 14 years and have a wonderful child, who has severe learning disabilities and who I think may be on the spectrum somewhere.  

I need information on how likely it is to pass on AS, and how likely it is to pass on full-blown Autism.  

We are seriously considering whether or not it is smart to bring another child into our family, since my husband is believed to be an Aspie and would be parenting two children full time at home, would it be too much on him and our daughter and possibly said new child if the child was severely Autistic?

Please be kind, I am still learning and reading.  You guys are the experts, and I am asking for help.

These were the words M had to my post:
If you want to have more children, then consider this:  anything could happen.  One of your older children could have an accident and become severely physically disabled -- would you give them away or kill them?  So why are you not going to love this future child if they might not be "perfect".


So I responded today that this was not the first time I had seen that type of behavior with M and that I was not going to confront M about it, as Kattoo13 was perfectly capable of caring for herself.  

I will not engage with you Jiggeryqua, but I did want to open up about my part in this.  

Personally, I think criticising someone's parenting skills on an Internet forum is slightly below the belt, and I did feel that the original post about hypochondria was misinterpreted originally by M. But so what? Big deal, its the Internet - is it REALLY that much of an annoyance in your day? There are far more pressing issues in life. Kattoo had her question answered by other posters; she got what she wanted sorted out by other posters who contributed to her thread. Hypothetically, original problem solved. Maybe M shouldn't have opened this thread; maybe Kattoo shouldn't have resorted to name-calling; maybe parenting skills shouldn't be brought into question by strangers to each other online. But so bloody what? Who REALLY cares in the grand scale of things? The thread will get itself locked soon enough at this rate.

That said, I have no desire to get involved in this. Its not my argument; I'm taking a diplomatic stance in this post.

Yes, I have noticed that one is better to get the Ben&Jerrys out and keep schtum on AFF

Just to weigh in - its really up to Gareth/Amy and their mods to decide who belongs here and doesn't belong here.

As a clarification, again, my issue with M, which is long over, was that what M said bore no reflection of anything I had said in my post.  Few things bother me more than when I feel as if words are inserted into my mouth.  To ask "why are you not going to love this future child if they might not be "perfect"" is a horrible thing to say.  Unless of course, I said it.  Since I did not say it, I did not appreciate it.  This was not a misunderstanding, this was a direct misstatement.

It seemed to me like it was rather similar today.  M responded to Kattoo’s post with “Do you exaggerate your son's concerns?  yes.” and “welcome to the wonderful world of asperger's”.  Both of these comments could be a misunderstanding, right?

But then, to come to another thread and say “I am also annoyed by these "parents" showing up here.  They ask stupid questions and then when I do reply they are like "oh, you don't have to be so rude.  I meant to ask this."  Then why didn't you ask "this" and not try to make this forum into some "parent complaining about their kids with autism forum".   Aren't there enough of those already?”  

While this was pulled from another thread and names were not mentioned, it seems obvious enough who M was taking about.  

Kattoo did not complain about her son.  Which is what is upsetting, as it is again, placing words into people’s mouths.  There is a very large difference between a misunderstanding and a direct misstatement.  

The worst part for me, just me, is that M never does return to the threads.  It ends up being a “drop a bomb of incorrect information and leave.”  If it is a misunderstanding, come back and clear it up. 

But then again, maybe I am misunderstanding...