Aspies For Freedom

Is it annoying to people when a thread starts to go off on a tangent.  It starts out with someone asking an important questions and soon people are having some silly personal arguments that have nothing to do with the issue being discussed.  

Please stop and think before you reply to a post.

1.  Are you replying to a troll?

2.  Is your emotional experience going to help someone else or answer the question asked?

3.  You have already expressed your point of view and further arguing is not going to change anyone's mind.  


I am going to try this for a while.   I am really sick of the silly arguing and trolling on this forum sometimes.  

Starting a new thread might be better than going on a tangent because then people who are looking for important information do not have to search through more than 30 pages of trash to find answers.

no.  this section is time-out.  

I am also annoyed by these "parents" showing up here.  They ask stupid questions and then when I do reply they are like "oh, you don't have to be so rude.  I meant to ask this."  Then why didn't you ask "this" and not try to make this forum into some "parent complaining about their kids with autism forum".   Aren't there enough of those already?

example of tangent?  

Why don't people send a private message explaining what they mean if they feel someone has misunderstood them.

We could with a little less 'parent' and a lot more 'adult' round here.

We could do with remembering that some aspies are parents - and we could do with a lot less NTs throwing their weight around and bullying the aspies because they display poor social skills - is that how you'd want your aspie offspring dealt with?

My post was mostly directed at your rank hypocrisy, kattoo13.  That was the bit that was personal - and you haven't responded to it all.

1) Making numbered lists only makes you[/1] think it sounds more authorative and well thought out.

1a) Two people do not make a pattern - not least when you concede you know nothing about M (please stop doing "this" to M's username, it's no less a name than 'kattoo13' and the action seems designed solely to isolate and diminsh M).  You also know nothing about the person who sent a pm about M - but it suits your unpleasantly vindivtive manner to take it at face value.  Wind your neck in, for pity's sake, you're doing yourself no favours and you're doing nothing for the forum.

1b) You are responding as an NT.  You can't do otherwise.  Try and understand what this forum is about, and the sort of people who use it.

2) I am very polite, despite my poor social skills.  Your son is apparantly very polite despite the example offered by his mother.

3) This conversation concerns me because you're having it in an open forum which I use - even if you had added a proviso that only posts supporting you would be welcome, I'd have ignored it.

4) Sounds like a personal [i]opinion to me - if there's a problem, it's one you're sharing...and exacerbating.  If M has a problem, other aspies are here to support her.  If you have a problem with aspies, go find another forum.

5) I never met a bully who admitted it.  Given how blunt (for which read 'bullying') you are, is it any surprise only two people have voiced a problem with that?  How many, by the way, before you admit the problem is yours?  You could have left M's thread alone - and no-one would have known what it was about (apparantly.  According to you).  But you didn't, you came out fighting - armed only with 'blunt' weapons, rank hypocrisy and misdirection.  I'm speaking to you - who else I speak to isn't your concern.

editbuttongareth...

There are no hierarchical ranks here, as far as I'm aware, kattoo13 (disregarding the office of moderator).  Sometimes, when what other people appear to be saying is foolish, that's because  a fool is reading.  In this case, 'rank' is being used, as it commonly is, as an adverb describing the almosty unbelievable depth of your hypocrisy.  So the issue is not your rank, but your 'rank hypocrisy'.

You said "I never said M sent a person a PM.  In fact the person said M had responded to them with a rude reply.  Get your facts straight, dear."  - I actually said "You also know nothing about the person who sent a pm about M".  Get your facts straight, dear...(Like I said, sometimes it's the fool who's reading...)

I have read this thread - it shows me what you are about, and what you understand (and fail to understand).  Oh, and how rude you are.  And foolish.

And then you take me to task for a typo - of which there were others (there are probably more here).  I know what I think of people who value spelling above meaning (let's face it, if you can correct someone, you must have understood their meaning - and that's the important part).  So far you've made to very basic errors of understanding so it's you who's looking like an idiot.  A foolish, rude, bullying idiot.

If you want your remarks to be addressed only by M, direct them only to M in a private message.  If you post in an open thread, other people will exercise their right to respond.  You have only objecte to those who do not support you - that's your personal problem.  Get over it, dear.

Your words are there to be seen by all - I haven't needed to 'twist' anything.  Your son is aspie - you are not.  The fact of your motherhood is biological only - history is replete with parents who problems with their children or the nature of their children.  You have offered ample evidence of your problem with asperger's as presented by aspergians other than your son.

Oh, look - the two people who you had previously referred to as having a problem become only one now - how did that happen?  I still haven't met a bully who admitted it, evidently - though I've met many who single people out as you do, as though there were a magic number at which they would admit it.  The first step to helping yourself is admitting that you have a problem - good luck with that.

It's also your hypocrisy, katoo13 dear, if you'd care to refer to my first post in this thread - it was a quote of you dismissing M for being rude to people, followed by a collection of quotes from you, from this thread alone, being outrageously rude to people.

It comes as no surprise to me that the person who pmd you was korrigan - she also seems to think motherhood gives her the right to insult aspies for not behaving the way she imagines people should.  I'm not that surprised that she identifies with you, seeing as she's as rude as you.  I'm not surprised either, that she announces that she won't 'engage' with me - perhaps because she knows that I'm going to repeat my insistence that she apologise for calling me a 'moron' elsewhere, for the heinous crime of stating a provable fact that doesn't suit her perverse politics.   It will come as no surprise to me when she refuses (or merely neglects) to apologise.  Again.

I don't think either of you belong here, I think you both seem determined to make trouble and determined to address Asperger's only from the point of view of being a problem or flaw in the perfect children you would have hoped for.  That's not what we're about here.

Oh, and we aren't the experts.  We're just the Aspergians - most of us, as will be obvious from other threads, barely understand ourselves.

No, I've tried and tried, but I fail to see what is 'rude' about this.  You may not have wanted to hear it, but it's a fair response to someone asking (on this board particularly) whether they dare have another child that might be as 'damaged' as the other.  They were blunt words, certainly - I'm sure kattoo13 can help you appreciate the value of bluntness.  But what level of deference did you expect, that you can call them 'rude'?  What kind of response did you expect from aspies?  How prepared are you to actually learn, and understand that that was an aspergian response?  Not at all, apparantly.

ocampo, enjoy your ice cream.  I expressed an opinion.  It's not at odds with the decision you refer to - though I would hope that those who might make such a decision would be guided by the opinions of users.

I'm going to repeat my opinion, since it's one I hold with some conviction - I think the best thing korrigan and kattoo13 could do right now is leave and find a more suitable forum.  If they apologised on the way out, that would be a bonus.

Nope, none of that has happened - though individual parents have been insulted (myself and kattoo, by kattoo and myself).  A couple of NT's are claiming they're offended - offense is just a form of social blackmail though.   I fail to see how you can insult a technique.  You can certainly criticise techniques - even mothering techniques.  Maybe that is a taboo for you - but in that case a communications medium that crosses cultural boundaries may not be the place for your sensitivities.

Nope, again.  You listed a number of groups you think saw insulted here - none of which has happened.  What did happen was that an NT parent launched themselves into the thread with a barrage of abuse levelled at M...and as Batman55 has just pointed out, it was actually aspies that were being insulted, as a group, and on AFF of all places.  Not for the first time, as it happens - and, as it happens, there's a connection revealed between the two people doing it.

I think you're slightly confusing yourself by understanding my reference to two parents and two NTs to imply that I'm an NT parent - I'm an aspie parent.  That said, if you're so sure you have no idea what I'm talking about why on earth are you adding to the confusion with another post?  Especially one that shares that 'I'm normal and I really don't get what you weirdy aspies are on about' tone that is the root of the problem here.

You said "As you agreed to, noone except you and kattoo were insulting anyone else" - I never agreed to any such thing, I just contradicted your listing of groups you saw insulted...which managed not to see the massive group insult that kattoo13 offered to aspergians. And then "so your statement that none of this happened confuses the heck out of me" - you are confused, yes.  None of what you listed happened, but some other stuff did - I happily agree that I've returned, as precisely as possible, kattoo's insults to her (and then got insulted for not inventing some of my own...)  If you'd have said 'kattoo and jigs were insulted' I'd have to agree with you.

I used to avoid confrontation with bullies - not any more, online or off.  I do my earnest best to meet them at their own level without escalation - as noted, the escalation comes from the bully when they see that their usual tactics are insufficient to quash me.

"I really have no idea what you are talking about and how any of what you and kattoo were posting about had anything to do with the thread about - tangents/rules for posting."  That's clear - and I have no idea why you feel the need to contribute to something you concede you do not understand.  All threads go off on tangents - that's the nature of discussion anywhere.

And there you go again, kattoo - at least you're kind enough to demonstrate once again who is the problem here.  You're happy to pretend not to have read posts you comment on, can't actually just leave the thread alone without piling in some more abuse and prove once again that you lack any understanding of asperger's, of the nature of this forum or forums in general, of the impact you have on people and of what I have said.

I am not remotely interested in 'rank', as was explained some time ago.  I was talking about your "rank hypocrisy", a common enough expression, where 'rank' is actually a synonym for gross, major or perhaps 'unbelievably outrageous'.  It referred to your original post in this thread, where you described M as 'sad' for wanting to 'put people down' (although M had not done that at all).  You did it though, at length, and have continued to do it in this thread at every opportunity.

I take it you didn't read batman55's post either?  The one where he also pointed out that coming to AFF, of all places, and impugning the intelligence of aspergian's who are clearly more intellectually capable than you is aggressively offensive.  You apparantly do not believe you can ever be in the wrong, and are prepared to compound your error in 'defence' of your right to be "blunt" (for which read 'overbearing, bullying, aggressive and offensive').

I did not 'butt my nose' into the thread - threads are open to all contributors.  The only 'nose-butter' you've taken exception to is the one prepared to stand up to you.  You felt someone needed to be put in their place?  How will you react when someone like you treats your child that way?  What manner of arrogance entitles you to make that kind of judgement?

You're probably not reading this either, eh, 'sunshine'? (Like your use of 'dear', pleasantries spat through clenched teeth are just as offensive as words more commonly regarded as insulting, by the way - I know you don't much care what impact you have on people, but there's always the possibility that you might learn something along the way).

It's quite obvious (of course, maybe not to you) that you're incapable of not being rude.  Now why not show us all how mature and well-adjusted you really are, how your panties are not in a bunch, how you're not an ****, and at the very least stop posting your bile on this thread - I know an apology is too much to expect, you probably think it's a sign of weakness, but for pity's sake play the adult for a change and let it go.

Have a nice day!

*sigh* Fight Club is now closed.

Let's try that locking thing again...