04-30-2008, 09:06 AM
Meh Adam West never stopped being Batman when he got old ;p why should you? 
04-30-2008, 02:14 PM
I'm one of the people who often finds you to be irritating, Batman. You're certainly in the top 5 of attention-seekers. However, you've received a lot of positive feedback at AFF. Many folks have said that they value your input. So guess what--there's no consensus regarding people's opinion of you.
The issue is whether or not you benefit from your time spent on AFF. Ask yourself--Why am I here? How is being here helping or hurting me? Are there more important ways to spend my time?
For what it's worth, you are someone I worry and think about. I fear that you're wasting your life by virtue of obsessing over all the things that you're not capable of or don't have. That envy is self-defeating and poisonous to anything that is truly good about your life, your talents, your present situation, and your future.
I think you would benefit by giving service to others, even if it's just in your own home, or just doing some kind of menial work, to start with. Something...anything...to release self-absorption and inner pain that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. It's clear that you're suffering. I don't know you and so don't know what would truly help you. Whatever it is, I hope you can find solace and recognize life's gifts when they come your way.
The issue is whether or not you benefit from your time spent on AFF. Ask yourself--Why am I here? How is being here helping or hurting me? Are there more important ways to spend my time?
For what it's worth, you are someone I worry and think about. I fear that you're wasting your life by virtue of obsessing over all the things that you're not capable of or don't have. That envy is self-defeating and poisonous to anything that is truly good about your life, your talents, your present situation, and your future.
I think you would benefit by giving service to others, even if it's just in your own home, or just doing some kind of menial work, to start with. Something...anything...to release self-absorption and inner pain that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. It's clear that you're suffering. I don't know you and so don't know what would truly help you. Whatever it is, I hope you can find solace and recognize life's gifts when they come your way.
04-30-2008, 09:34 PM
I don't think you should leave and I like reading what you have to say.
05-01-2008, 02:26 PM
Batman55 Wrote:
energeia Wrote:
The issue is whether or not you benefit from your time spent on AFF. Ask yourself--Why am I here? How is being here helping or hurting me? Are there more important ways to spend my time?
The question I have to ask is, why would this be any concern to you (or other people on AFF)? I might be thinking one-dimensionally here, only a couple times people have said "if AFF isn't helping you progress, maybe you should leave." Perhaps I'm seeing too much into this.
Well, it's your life, your time. My point was that I don't think you should base your decision on whether to stay or leave AFF on the grounds of what other people think. If you find it worthwhile, e.g., for the reasons you say below, then stay.
Either way, I have reasons for having the lifestyle I have. Admittedly a decent chunk of time is spent on AFF, but being here allows me to practice writing skills--something I value highly and want to improve upon--and read new words and thoughts and ideas. That's "good activity" for me. It is concentrated on just one forum, but so what? I don't do "multi" very well, in fact I don't do it at all.
05-01-2008, 02:47 PM
Batman55 Wrote:
About my attention-seeking:
1) It's in my personality. I cannot attract attention from people in real life as much as I would like because of a social limitation--I am "waved off" a lot because people don't take my comments seriously--and I don't think I need to say much more than that.
2) A lot of Aspies have fulfillment from the knowledge and confidence they get from gifted intelligence, and/or strong skills in one or more areas. That's all the attention most Aspies need, just that right there. But if you had to be in my shoes--no abilities, basically--how else would you verify your existence?
You can verify your existence by paying attention to your breathing.
I wonder if you might have meant "validate", but maybe not.
I think it's part of the human condition to have issues around self-worth. And the more that "worth" is couched in terms of producing something that others find valuable, the more problems with self-worth might occur for someone who doesn't produce those things.
It's pretty clear from your posts on AFF that you have low self-esteem. What irritates me is your repeated reminders that what someone else might report about his or her experience doesn't apply to you. It's freaking NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!! When you do this drawing of attention to yourself, it means that other people sometimes feel compelled to step in and try to validate you, which gets you the attention you might want. But it can also have the effect of inhibiting other people from freely expressing what they think, feel, and experience. And this bothers me.
3) If I say I have a limitation, or a deficit--even excessively--it's because I really have the limitation or deficit or whatever it is. I have never told a lie about these things, why would I.
Why do you feel compelled to continually remind us of your limitations and deficits?
So yeah, I really am plagued with problems associated with autism, I would consider myself disabled; if you folks aren't disabled by your AS or whatever, good for you. So don't assume I can use advice that works for you and criticize me when I say I can't/don't want to use it.
1) It's in my personality. I cannot attract attention from people in real life as much as I would like because of a social limitation--I am "waved off" a lot because people don't take my comments seriously--and I don't think I need to say much more than that.
2) A lot of Aspies have fulfillment from the knowledge and confidence they get from gifted intelligence, and/or strong skills in one or more areas. That's all the attention most Aspies need, just that right there. But if you had to be in my shoes--no abilities, basically--how else would you verify your existence?
You can verify your existence by paying attention to your breathing.
I wonder if you might have meant "validate", but maybe not.
I think it's part of the human condition to have issues around self-worth. And the more that "worth" is couched in terms of producing something that others find valuable, the more problems with self-worth might occur for someone who doesn't produce those things.
It's pretty clear from your posts on AFF that you have low self-esteem. What irritates me is your repeated reminders that what someone else might report about his or her experience doesn't apply to you. It's freaking NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!! When you do this drawing of attention to yourself, it means that other people sometimes feel compelled to step in and try to validate you, which gets you the attention you might want. But it can also have the effect of inhibiting other people from freely expressing what they think, feel, and experience. And this bothers me.
3) If I say I have a limitation, or a deficit--even excessively--it's because I really have the limitation or deficit or whatever it is. I have never told a lie about these things, why would I.
Why do you feel compelled to continually remind us of your limitations and deficits?
So yeah, I really am plagued with problems associated with autism, I would consider myself disabled; if you folks aren't disabled by your AS or whatever, good for you. So don't assume I can use advice that works for you and criticize me when I say I can't/don't want to use it.
05-02-2008, 09:37 PM
We're pretty strongly socialized to develop skills and make contributions. "Earn our keep" as it were. There could be a biological basis for this--it would not surprise me if there were. So, this imperative makes it difficult for people who for some reason or another can't earn their keep due to illness or inability or other circumstances.
Or even if one is living an apparently useful life, one doesn't escape self-esteem issues. I think that most people feel as if they're not measuring up in some domain or another. Maybe they're okay at work but bad at relationships or the other way around or they've failed at something they wanted and tried or... or... or...
I think that much is NOT under personal control. I often find this difficult to deal with.
Or even if one is living an apparently useful life, one doesn't escape self-esteem issues. I think that most people feel as if they're not measuring up in some domain or another. Maybe they're okay at work but bad at relationships or the other way around or they've failed at something they wanted and tried or... or... or...
I think that much is NOT under personal control. I often find this difficult to deal with.
05-04-2008, 09:57 AM
You are well liked on AFF Batman; but I think sometimes people just want to get on with things and not be engaged in a constant analysis of their ’condition’.
As to the issue of ’gifts’…
Well it all rather depends on what you call a ’gift’. No doubt, there are some very clever people here on this website; but whether any of them is gifted is moot point. The vast majority of people here are just more positive about the things they are good at than you are. They value their special interests.
I think in many ways, our so-called gifts are simply ways we’ve found to adapt to the problems of AS. We’ve become good in some areas because of an inability in others. This does not mean that we’re necessarily gifted.
You for example are far better than me at writing. When I read other people’s posts I’m amazed at how concise and well written they are; they say the things I want to say so much better than I can say them (this includes a number of your posts). I try to compensate for my inability with words by using pictures. People say I’m good at finding an appropriate pic…but it’s really just a way of getting my point across, when words fail me.
I think most aspies are only good at something because they focus on it as a special interest; they practice it a lot--that’s why they’re good at it. Not because of any inherit gift or ability (of course I could be wrong).
As to the issue of ’gifts’…
Well it all rather depends on what you call a ’gift’. No doubt, there are some very clever people here on this website; but whether any of them is gifted is moot point. The vast majority of people here are just more positive about the things they are good at than you are. They value their special interests.
I think in many ways, our so-called gifts are simply ways we’ve found to adapt to the problems of AS. We’ve become good in some areas because of an inability in others. This does not mean that we’re necessarily gifted.
You for example are far better than me at writing. When I read other people’s posts I’m amazed at how concise and well written they are; they say the things I want to say so much better than I can say them (this includes a number of your posts). I try to compensate for my inability with words by using pictures. People say I’m good at finding an appropriate pic…but it’s really just a way of getting my point across, when words fail me.
I think most aspies are only good at something because they focus on it as a special interest; they practice it a lot--that’s why they’re good at it. Not because of any inherit gift or ability (of course I could be wrong).
05-04-2008, 10:07 AM
Just focus of the things you enjoy...your special interests.
If you focus on them enough you may become good at them--if not just enjoy them.
Use the skills you have to make what money you can.
The skills you do have may not always be marketable.
Do your best...do what you can, when and where you can.
Use the skills you do have to compensate for those you're lacking.
I'm afraid the chances are you won't be recognises as a genius.
If you focus on them enough you may become good at them--if not just enjoy them.
Use the skills you have to make what money you can.
The skills you do have may not always be marketable.
Do your best...do what you can, when and where you can.
Use the skills you do have to compensate for those you're lacking.
I'm afraid the chances are you won't be recognises as a genius.
05-04-2008, 11:45 AM
I chose the latter too, I don't care.
Sides I can think of a few quirky people real and fictional who are great =p
Sides I can think of a few quirky people real and fictional who are great =p
05-04-2008, 03:44 PM
Batman, if you want to use AFF as a focus for writing, fine.
How about exploring in depth a theme or two that might be of genuine interest to yourself and to some other people here. (Yes, I acknowledge that this is advice--take or leave.)
And piece of advice number 2--think hard before you Post Reply on one of your 'Poor pitiful me, I have no marketable talent, I have no executive function, I'm not good at math, I'm an aspie but don't do/have X, you're judging me, you don't understand me, you're not validating me, you don't like me, you're telling me how I should be, I'm entitled to better treatment than this, I can't read long posts, etc' knee-jerk responses to what someone says that most likely has absolutely NOTHING to do with you.
It's wearying and.....predictably boring.
And yes, this is a judgment on my part.
Get over yourself, already, eh?
How about exploring in depth a theme or two that might be of genuine interest to yourself and to some other people here. (Yes, I acknowledge that this is advice--take or leave.)
And piece of advice number 2--think hard before you Post Reply on one of your 'Poor pitiful me, I have no marketable talent, I have no executive function, I'm not good at math, I'm an aspie but don't do/have X, you're judging me, you don't understand me, you're not validating me, you don't like me, you're telling me how I should be, I'm entitled to better treatment than this, I can't read long posts, etc' knee-jerk responses to what someone says that most likely has absolutely NOTHING to do with you.
It's wearying and.....predictably boring.
And yes, this is a judgment on my part.
Get over yourself, already, eh?
05-05-2008, 10:10 AM
See, the way I see it is: a lot of aspies can be, and are, arseholes...i'm one of them.
BUT, the problem is people see one Aspie being a dick and they tar us with the same brush.
BUT, the problem is people see one Aspie being a dick and they tar us with the same brush.
05-06-2008, 10:59 AM
This is gonna sound sooooo nerdy but..
"Don't try to be a great man, just try to be a man" - Warp Drive chap from Trek
"Don't try to be a great man, just try to be a man" - Warp Drive chap from Trek
05-06-2008, 03:52 PM
Going back to part of your original post for this thread
Batman55 Wrote:
I just realized that I have hit 4,000 posts.
I wonder if perhaps it is time for me to retire--hang up the cape and cowl for good--as I may now be outstaying my welcome.
..........
Judging from responses from some members, I am also an irritant to many of you. I've had the occasional "you've been on AFF for a while but you're not making any progress in your life, and you still haven't got the official DX, so why not just forget about it" thing, and that kinda bugs me.
So, have I outstayed my welcome? Is it time for me to leave AFF?
I wonder if perhaps it is time for me to retire--hang up the cape and cowl for good--as I may now be outstaying my welcome.
..........
Judging from responses from some members, I am also an irritant to many of you. I've had the occasional "you've been on AFF for a while but you're not making any progress in your life, and you still haven't got the official DX, so why not just forget about it" thing, and that kinda bugs me.
So, have I outstayed my welcome? Is it time for me to leave AFF?
Nobody is saying that you should leave AFF.
Some people question what you really want from people. You seem to not want advice and you are unhappy or angry when it appears as if people don't believe you regarding the impairments you have. So...maybe you just want more understanding.
The reality is that you'll get understanding from some people some of the time. Only you can decide whether what you get here is enough.
Another reality is that many people really do NOT understand you. Nobody here knows your true situation--unless we lived in your house with you, we cannot know. And even if we did, we might still not know. So, you get all sorts of advice and pep-talks and admonishments from people here who are extrapolating from their own experience. That's human nature at work. Take what's useful and discard the rest.
When people do give you the gift of their attention, it's worth considering an appreciative response, even if the contents of the gift are not pleasing to you.
Everyone's journey in life is unique.
You are not being invalidated just because someone else has talents that you lack.
That person has struggles also. Rare is the individual who has no secret sorrows.
05-12-2008, 11:56 AM
The doctor'll just tell him he's making it up anyway, words to that effect.
That's probably why he's scared, Ethel.
That's probably why he's scared, Ethel.
05-12-2008, 03:02 PM
Ethel--I think that Batman IS in pain.
And I'm sorry for your sake that you got sucked into a painful exercise of futility.
And I'm sorry for your sake that you got sucked into a painful exercise of futility.